Anger management tips

Postby ThatGuyOverThere0 » Tue Mar 27, 2018 10:41 am

I guess this could technically go into both anger and depression but my main focus right now is on anger so here I am. Life story time: when I was young I used to have anger issues. My sister and I would fight all the time and my parents took me to counseling sessions to help cool my temper. More recently I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Ever since I was little I would have constant thoughts of hurting other people. I never said anything because I figured they were normal. (I haven't lived idk how this sh** works) Things started to get real bad in middle/high school. I would be walking through the halls at school and imagining myself with a gun shooting the people I didn't like, or i thought were ugly, or just cause. It was emotionally draining. Being constantly mad at everyone. Things came to a head, I got quite a bit of treatment and am on the other side now. The thing I have trouble with now, is expressing my anger. I wont get mad ever. Irritated yes, but never full blown mad. Currently I push it down and never let it out because I'm afraid of what could happen if I did. I write a lot to get my emotions out, but I just can't keep up with the all the emotions being bottled up. I can almost always get my heart rate upwards of 140 just thinking about something that makes me mad. I'm in good shape physically, but my motivation to get things done is a fat 0. I guess I'm just looking for any advice on a good physical release
Thanks for reading☺
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#1

Postby Leo Volont » Tue Mar 27, 2018 1:29 pm

ThatGuyOverThere0 wrote:I guess this could technically go into both anger and depression but my main focus right now is on anger so here I am. Life story time: when I was young I used to have anger issues. My sister and I would fight all the time and my parents took me to counseling sessions to help cool my temper. More recently I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Ever since I was little I would have constant thoughts of hurting other people. I never said anything because I figured they were normal. (I haven't lived idk how this sh** works) Things started to get real bad in middle/high school. I would be walking through the halls at school and imagining myself with a gun shooting the people I didn't like, or i thought were ugly, or just cause. It was emotionally draining. Being constantly mad at everyone. Things came to a head, I got quite a bit of treatment and am on the other side now. The thing I have trouble with now, is expressing my anger. I wont get mad ever. Irritated yes, but never full blown mad. Currently I push it down and never let it out because I'm afraid of what could happen if I did. I write a lot to get my emotions out, but I just can't keep up with the all the emotions being bottled up. I can almost always get my heart rate upwards of 140 just thinking about something that makes me mad. I'm in good shape physically, but my motivation to get things done is a fat 0. I guess I'm just looking for any advice on a good physical release
Thanks for reading☺


Hi That Guy, Well, yes, this IS the Anger Management Forum, and here we would consider it a great success to keep all that nasty anger bottled up. What many people do not realize is that an Anger Episode is NOT a release (blowing off steam does not make anybody feel better). An Anger Episode really kind of Creates a Crisis of Anxious Mental Activity and Worry. The Day of the Anger Episode is bad and one may lose sleep, and then for the next few days the anxious feelings persist. So, no, what is supposed to be a Release actually brings on a Crisis. Its not fun. Oh, this does not even mention the damage you do to your Social Standing, Employment Opportunities, or Whatever by being Publicly Angry. Even moderate Anger -- an Angry Episode once every 4 to 6 months – is enough to ruin a career or a marriage. Once you show that you are an Angry Person, people get nervous around you.

Oh, and studies have shown that when people Pretend to be Angry – going out to a Part or a Forest and yelling and raging and screaming, and thrashing bushes with big sticks, well, THAT is not a release either. It tends to Work the Person Up. The Tension is Worse after such REHEARSALS. Yes, people are actually Rehearsing for an Anger Episode when they think they are finding a way to ‘release’ their angry tension. But it is not helping. Such Rehearsals are pushing you closer to the brink.

Oh, ThatGuy, what kind of therapy have you been getting? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? So you know not to indulge in counterproductive trains of thought, right? If you are thinking of something that you suspect is not healthy and not helpful, you are supposed to Dispute such thoughts. Instead of an Internal Monologue, you are supposed to have a Dialogue. Don’t let yourself get away with negative thoughts – talk back to them! And regretting that you don’t have a Rage Anger Problem is one of those unhealthy negative thoughts. It seems like you might be Looking for Drama. But, no, you do not want Drama. What you want is Friends and a Network of People who will help you in your Life. Remember, you are still young and your Persona is still relatively fluid. You can literally be whoever you want to be. TV, Media and the Movies has you somehow aimed at Tragic Drama and Horrible Endings. Well, nix all that. Instead you want to be Cool, Friendly, Reliable and Capable but Easy Going. Don’t try to be funny. People misunderstand Humor and often Weaponize it – using Humor that hurts other people’s feelings. So if you want to be Funny too, make sure it is Self-effacing humor. For other people you should have unswerving respect.

You know, ThatGuy, I do a lot of writing here on this Page. Read some of the Posts I’ve written. I generally discuss my take on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and this new Theory I have about being able to control Cortisol Releases (and if you are tense all the time, it might be Cortisol, and then you really should read my stuff). Anyway, Good Luck, ThatGuy.
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#2

Postby laureat » Tue Mar 27, 2018 7:28 pm

angry ppl get mostly with the family members because they know they can get away with it, because 99.99% will be forgiven

angry you dont get with a street gang members because you are afraid you cant get away with it, and someone beats you bad
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