6 and a half months free of weed

Postby owen86 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:21 am

So I am now at 6 and a half months ganja free and the PAWS seems to be giving me a bit of a break somewhat. I mean I still encounter insomnia at least once a week where I literally don't sleep at all, I will lay there until about 2-3am while my son and missus snore away until I cant take anymore and just get up. Luckily I have a lot of paperwork etc to be getting on with but failing this I take myself off for a 3 or so hour drive until its time to get sorted for work. This is when my anxiety returns, worrying I won't sleep the next night, I end up staying awake til about 1am that night until my tiredness overrules my anxiety. Although I do still experience anxiety it is not everyday and is less intense than in the previous months. I'm not even sure why not sleeping causes me so much anxiety it doesn't physically affect me really and I still go and smash out a 9-10 hour day on site no problems. Anyway I just wanted to post again really as when I joined this forum I was in a pretty bad place over the whole thing I couldn't see a way out of it, I didn't know what was wrong with me and felt completely alone. This forum has helped me immensely and I am now in a much better place mentally. I believe in my case that this won't leave me alone for quite some time yet, not entirely anyway. Who would have thought a "harmless" plant could cause so much grief. For anybody who may be reading this and is experiencing the wonders of PAWS don't suffer in silence talk about it, write about it and post about it. You are not alone we are all experiencing the same nasty bs too. Finally there is hope, I didn't think I would ever feel like my old self again but slowly and surely I am starting to feel ok again and my kids are getting their Dad back and my partner has got her fella back. If anything it has made us stronger and I know for sure I couldn't have got through this without her. Peace out my fellow broken stoners
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#1

Postby exstonerinhell » Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:41 am

Hey, man, congrats on making it that far! Keep it up! I'm still in the miserable phase of the first couple months and have to say this is really kicking the hell out of me. I can barely function. I have noticed improvement in my anxiety, but my total detachment from the world is truly freaking me out. I miss the connections I had with people, my family, my girlfriend, and just the world in general. My depression is completely insane at this point. I'm hanging in there and will for the long run, I'm just really, really hoping some of this depression lifts in the coming months here as it's the worst part of it for me. I can't do anything, really, time is moving insanely slowly. I know it won't magically turn around tomorrow, but more than anything this depression is just BRUTAL. I had a couple evenings in this month where I had some hope and acceptance for this, could distract myself with activities and such but it's been some time since I've had those feelings now. I just feel completely broken at this point, but have faith that in time I'll start feeling a little better. That you're seeing some improvements gives me hope that I just have to wait this out and when I start to feel some improvement in my depression I'll have the strength to keep on. Right now, I just see no end in sight. I do have hope though, I just wish this HARDCORE depression would let up.

Anyway, sorry to bomb your thread with my bs, this is so f-ing hard.
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#2

Postby owen86 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:25 am

You're doing very well my friend. I felt depressed as **** right up until I found this forum which made me realise that it's just a crap temporary situation that you have to go through to get over the weed. All it is in reality is that your body has been used to being flooded with dopamine due to smoking and has temporarily forgotten how to produce it on its own. It will learn to do it on its own again it just takes time although it does absolutely suck in the mean time. What really helped me was completely abstaining from alcohol and taking omega 3 oil capsules and a magnesium b vitamins every morning with breakfast. Within a week of doing both these things I was sleeping better and feeling like my old self for 5 days out of 7. It may not work for yourself but definitely worth a go as apparently people who suffer from anxiety mostly have a lack of magnesium in their system.
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#3

Postby mikeabbot » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:38 am

Owen!

I'm also at 6,5 months. And things are getting better. I don't feel normal, but I feel much, much better than 6 months ago.
It's improving slowly but when I look back I can really see the changes happening. The only thing bothering me right now is emotional detachment and anxiety. Do you have similar issues? It feels like you cannot bond with people as much as you should. Our dopamine production is damaged and it's just now starting to repair itself.

Omega 3 + magnesium helps a lot, at least in my case. I don't take it everyday, but let's say every 2 days.
Sports help a lot.

You're doing great, so continue to do so! 6 months is a relapse month. You feel OK, but not normal. So be careful. :)

Congrats on your achievement and cheers to new, better you!

All the best,
Mike
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#4

Postby potsleep » Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:36 pm

Hi Owen,

The way you speak about your sleep issues really mirrors how I feel. I just passed 4 months. Had my First sleepless night since March 2nd last night. My insomnia seemed to be improving until last night. I'm generally feeling pretty good these days. If I could get back to regular sleeping I think i'd feel much better overall.

My sleep problems seem to follow a cycle. I have a bunch of good days then out of nowhere I'll have a totally sleepless night without explanation. This will go on for a week then return to normal. I must say that this last good cycle was the best so far. About 3 weeks of 6-7 hours per night. Always wake up at some point, but manage to get back. But last night for some reason I just put my head down and had no desire to sleep. Then my fear kicks in and I'm up all night. I either have a good sleep or zero sleep. I suspect i'll sleep tonight because i'm so tired but usually the next night will be totally sleepless too and so on for about 5-7 days.

The first 2.5 months were so bad that I feel I've developed some kind of PTSD towards sleep but I'm hoping it's just PAWS. I don't think I could live like this forever.

What i'm doing now is whats called "sleep restriction" I've moved my bedtime to about 12am and set my alarm for 6:30am. This will ensure you have a good drive to sleep. I also get out of bed if I can't sleep after 30 min. I think I've developed a fear of my own bed due to all the sleepless nights.

But again... I thought I was out of the woods and wham!!! now i'm back to feeling fear of not sleeping tonight and that fear will probably make me not sleep. I wish I didn't care so much about sleep.

When you're a pot head you sleep like sleeping beauty every night. It's a real shock to go from 8 hours a night to zero.

Again. I have seen a upward trend. Things are improving. It's just hard to be feeling good and then get a left hook for no reason. and you feel you're back in the crapper again.

Wishing you the best and good sleep in your future!
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#5

Postby exstonerinhell » Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:49 pm

You guys are warriors, keep it up!
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#6

Postby owen86 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:38 pm

I feel exactly the same fear as you do with regards to not sleeping. I generally leave it about an hour or so of laying there with my eyes shut before I get up and go out ( which I am going to stop doing because I came very very close to falling asleep at the wheel the other night). Overall when u sleep I sleep well and feel like my sleep quality has vastly improved over the last month or so but like u say when I have a night of not sleeping it doesnt matter what I do I physically cant fall asleep, sleeping pills don't even touch me when I am in for a night of insomnia. The next night I usually fall asleep at about half 1 in the morning and my sleep then tends to get better until I have a day off and the cycle starts again. I always feel my anxiety intensify after a night of no sleep and like yourself think this then contributes to finding it hard to go to sleep the next night. Did you say that you don't sleep for 5 nights straight?
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#7

Postby potsleep » Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:18 pm

owen86 wrote:I feel exactly the same fear as you do with regards to not sleeping. I generally leave it about an hour or so of laying there with my eyes shut before I get up and go out ( which I am going to stop doing because I came very very close to falling asleep at the wheel the other night). Overall when u sleep I sleep well and feel like my sleep quality has vastly improved over the last month or so but like u say when I have a night of not sleeping it doesnt matter what I do I physically cant fall asleep, sleeping pills don't even touch me when I am in for a night of insomnia. The next night I usually fall asleep at about half 1 in the morning and my sleep then tends to get better until I have a day off and the cycle starts again. I always feel my anxiety intensify after a night of no sleep and like yourself think this then contributes to finding it hard to go to sleep the next night. Did you say that you don't sleep for 5 nights straight?


No, when I have my "episodes" of insomnia it usually just starts to degrade. I'll have one or two nights of just a few hours then ill have a full sleepless night. Then sleep every other night then back on track. So only two zero sleep nights. I find when I have a bad sleep or no sleep I'll wake up with very bad depression. I'll usually feel the urge to cry for a few hours then by around 9am, I feel pretty good again and on with my day.

Yeah, last time I got some Trazadone and took so much my body was frozen but I still couldn't fall asleep. I fully know now that no sleeping pills will help me. I even tried Diazapham once a few months ago. Same thing. Now i'm just taking low dose Melatonin which I guess helps.

It's funny. I read here that someone else was having PAWS episodes around the full moon cycle. It's strange. when I look back now both these last two episodes are happening when the moon is full.
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#8

Postby owen86 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:43 pm

Strange isn't it. I'm fairly sure mine revolves around me not making my body tired enough when I'm not at work. As with you I always feel sh** after I have had no sleep I can deal with having say 3 hours sleep like I did last night cause at least I have slept but i just can't deal with not sleeping at all it brings on my anxiety fairly strongly. I have read the the real turning point is around a year clean. What really gets to me about the whole thing is how fast drs are to prescribe you with anti depressants like they can't be arsed to figure out what the actual problem is just chuck some pills at you and hope it does something. I never took what they prescribed me as I didn't think it would help me in the long run its hard enough coming off weed let alone coming off anti depressants as well.
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#9

Postby owen86 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:49 pm

mikeabbot wrote:Owen!

I'm also at 6,5 months. And things are getting better. I don't feel normal, but I feel much, much better than 6 months ago.
It's improving slowly but when I look back I can really see the changes happening. The only thing bothering me right now is emotional detachment and anxiety. Do you have similar issues? It feels like you cannot bond with people as much as you should. Our dopamine production is damaged and it's just now starting to repair itself.

Omega 3 + magnesium helps a lot, at least in my case. I don't take it everyday, but let's say every 2 days.
Sports help a lot.

You're doing great, so continue to do so! 6 months is a relapse month. You feel OK, but not normal. So be careful. :)

Congrats on your achievement and cheers to new, better you!

All the best,
Mike



Hi Mike I have found the omega 3 to be massively beneficial along with walking about 5 miles a day with my dogs. I don't really have any thoughts of a relapse as the panic attack I suffered that made me give up weed was enough to put me off for life and I know now that I will never touch it as long as I live. Keeping myself busy also helps alot I do all my paperwork etc in the evening and graft on site all day and it helps keep the intrusive thoughts away. Anxiety is a real bitch I havent really experienced the emotional detachment from people yet apart from where my old friends are concerned as they all still take drugs and drink like fishes at the weekend and I no longer do either. Has it affected your friendships at all?
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#10

Postby Wave » Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:44 am

Great update!! One benefit I have noticed lately is how much I can remember stuff. I was asked a date something was happening (would 100% never remember anything when I was smoking) and knew it straight away.

Great to hear the improvements!
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#11

Postby exstonerinhell » Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:50 am

A question for everyone in this thread....

Do you guys have (or in Wave's case, had) this derealisation sh**? Where everything just looks kind of off, like you're walking through a dream or everythings a bad acid trip? It's pretty much with me all the time and is just super weird.
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#12

Postby owen86 » Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:54 am

I think I had it once where I was awake at about 3am and had to check with myself that I was actually there was a bit of a weird scary experience. The problem is you just get used to everything looking sunny and nice when you are stoned all the time so itl take time for your brain to adjust to reality
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#13

Postby exstonerinhell » Fri Mar 30, 2018 10:15 am

Would you say the world looks normal to you most the time? Cause it really doesn't for me. :(
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#14

Postby owen86 » Fri Mar 30, 2018 11:29 am

Yeah I'd say it hasn't really been an issue for me but I didn't used to get high til I got home from work so wasn't spending all day caned although I would still be a bit spaced out til about 11am everyday. Smokers hangover. I think my cousin suffered with DR pretty badly though. As with the insomnia and anxiety etc I think it's just your brain getting used to being normal again and not seeing everything through rose tinted glasses
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