Why can't I hit my brother?

Postby Throwaway127 » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:27 pm

Today I got into an argument with my older brother about something that I felt bad about so I tried to lock myself in my room but I could still hear him through my door so after a few seconds I ran out at him and he hit me on the left side of my head and I just said, "Are we really going to do this today?" It reminded me of one time over the last summer where I got mad enough and punched him in the face and broke his nose. I kept walking towards him without throwing a punch and used some wrestling moves to put him on the ground without hurting him very much and told h after a while that I was going to let him yp, hoping that he would call down but knowing full well that he wouldn't and after I let him up hit hit my in the head again before I pushed h away and locked myself in my room again, this time putting in earbuds so I couldn't hear him. I'm about two inches taller him and stronger, as well as much better at wrestling but I just can't hit him for some reason. Wth? I have plenty of reason and I'm not scared of him but I just couldn't make myself do it. I wouldn't consider myself "soft" either because I've qualified for state tournaments and am going to be the captain of 3 different sports, including wrestling. I'm not really looking for encouragement to hit him, but it's just driving me crazy that I can't. I'm 16 and my brother is 18. Thanks for the help.
Edit: forgot to mention that I enjoy playing action/fighting/shooting games so I'm not scared of violence or anything
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:48 pm

Most likely because you hold a core belief that to hit your brother would be wrong.

Note: I’m not saying it is right or wrong. I’m saying you obviously currently hold a belief that it would be wrong.

It is like the commonly held beliefs:

-1- Never hit a woman.
-2- Never hit a person weaker than you.
-3- Only use physical violence as a last resort.

I’m not saying these are good or bad, correct or incorrect beliefs. I’m just pointing out they are common beliefs that are held.

How do we come to hold certain beliefs? We don’t necessarily write them down, take a test, or perform some ceremony. Instead, beliefs are most often internalized over time and below our awareness through our social interactions and repetition.

Your belief that to hit your brother is wrong is probably a belief you developed over time related to your participation in sports and the sense of fair play, of being a sportsman of integrity that holds to certain ethics.
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Postby Throwaway127 » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:51 pm

Wow, I never thought about that. Thank you for the speedy an detailed reply, I very much appreciate it!
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