ready to give up giving up !

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 06, 2018 7:54 pm

Can anyone give me some advice on how to stay strong whilst giving up weed...I'm now 5 weeks and 2 days without smoking weed and I feel so down and anxious all the time I'm starting to wonder if giving up is really worth it.
I have smoked green for almost 24 years daily but not all fay one after the other most ly in the evenings and night. I am trying to quit as I know it's doing me no favours but right now I'm just so flat nothing seems to put a smile on my face. I think I'm driving my husband crazy ( he gave up 7 months ago and didn't struggle at all!) I feel like I've lost my right arm and life will just never be the same again.
Would love to hear from anyone who has been through this and come out the other side. I am afraid if I don't start to feel better soon I will just go back to smoking again !! Thanks in advance.
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#1

Postby George from UK » Sun May 06, 2018 8:17 pm

I'd strongly suggest you start going to Marijuana anonymous meetings. In the mean time i find it helpful to listen to M.A Meetings, A.A meetings and N.A Meetings on youtube...

...Here's a link to one of hundreds on youtube... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqlWSB9NWxo

Let me know what you think.

George
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#2

Postby tokeless » Mon May 07, 2018 6:48 am

Hi,
When you give up something that you've done and perhaps relied on for years you make a sacrifice, which is to not use it or do that anymore. The initial period can be positive and motivating as you tick of days or pounds but after a while the motivation reduces and the temptation comes back to just try again because we feel the gains have reduced. They haven't really but our will to keep going has. You've done 5 weeks which I bet you never thought possible once. As George suggests get the support of others to keep you going because a group activity is stronger than one alone. It does get better but it's the psychological battles now.. They are the hardest because that's what you're going through now.. The doubt, the feeling of it's not worth it, but it is.
Best wishes
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#3

Postby reckoning » Mon May 07, 2018 8:42 am

Hi Anxious_Mary_420,

Welcome. You are in great company coming to this site. There are many of us with a similar story to your's on this site, myself included. I've been a highly functional smoker but .............it was doing me no favours, indeed as time went on it really disempowered me in my growth and without a doubt over time I stopped growing. In fact without knowing it smoking was a big time factor that was contributing to my anxiety while all the while I was believing it helped me manage it.

It is tough giving up and there are several really big physical withdrawal challenges that you need to ride through but it is all so worth it in the end. Not only did I have to do the physical withdrawal but I also had to change things so that I could manage the maintenance of giving up in a supportive environment. Creating this supportive environment has been massive and yes filled with losses but also filled with so many rich and healthy gains. You can have a read of my thread to get the drift and to see how much has changed in these last 18 weeks, including now having been able to give up my 20 years of taking anti anxiety tablets. Truly amazing. But let me say it has not been without a big effort on my part. Learning new skills and challenging some pretty set ways of thinking too.

I've tried to quit many times and this time I know I am done for good. I got to 62 years of age and I really don't want this going on in my life. I don't want this to be one of the deep regrets in my life- oh I just couldn't deal with all the withdrawals. No this time I am ready to change. I am changing and I can see so many benefits already. For me I am putting in the same effort I would if I got cancer or anything like that. I'm fighting the good fight and proud of where it is taking me. I am literally saving the life I want to live and yes I am starting to live it.

Five weeks in a colossal leap forward, seriously best effort. Congratulations. You can keep going.

It changes slowly over time, this not smoking, and you know that is the best sort of change. It's a bit like losing weight- if you lose it all real quick we all know how quickly it can come back on. Take your time but stick to your resolve. You will have many of here cheering you on sharing the changes with you. Use this site like I did, especially in the very early days. I would get on and read and then post and keep myself accountable and it is so inspiring to be on here with everyone.

So keep reading, keep posting and keep going. cheers Liz
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#4

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Mon May 07, 2018 5:17 pm

Thank you all so much, some great advice. I have made it through another day and my resolve to keep not smoking is back. It helps so much to know other people are going or have gone through the same thing. Hope I can stay strong. My head is full of things that I want gone and so the temptation to have a joint and make it all go away is always there but at least thanks to your replys today I haven't. Much respect to you all x
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#5

Postby dhae2604 » Mon May 07, 2018 6:31 pm

list the biggest reasons why you quit.



& List also the answers to question: "Why I can successfully quit marijuana forever". & always read that. example

1.) because I have tough it out till 6week. thats an achievement
2.) Because my friends or family is there to support me.
3.) because I have Uncommonforum for support.
4.) & so on & more... until no. 100.)

For me at 11mo. thinking I will repeat the brutal process of withdrawal I experience. Damn. No way.

maybe it will help you. Just my opinion
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#6

Postby tokeless » Mon May 07, 2018 8:24 pm

Anxious_mary_420 wrote:Thank you all so much, some great advice. I have made it through another day and my resolve to keep not smoking is back. It helps so much to know other people are going or have gone through the same thing. Hope I can stay strong. My head is full of things that I want gone and so the temptation to have a joint and make it all go away is always there but at least thanks to your replys today I haven't. Much respect to you all x



Hi again. Think about your last paragraph and ask yourself if any of the things you want gone from your head ever actually did because you had a joint? It's just like pretending your apartment is clean because you closed the door so you couldn't see it. As soon as you open it again you see the mess that was always there. There are no reasons why you can't do this... Are there?
Best wishes
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#7

Postby jage » Mon May 07, 2018 10:37 pm

Hi. I was here years ago and managed to quit for 5 years with the help of this forum. I'm back here because I fell off the wagon big time. Quitting gained me focus, made me less numb to the world and, bonus, I lost weight and became fitter than ever! My sugar habit was outta control. I don't know what it is about pot that makes me eat sooooo much sugar!! Circumstances and a pothead husband has dragged me back and I spent the last 2 years smoking again with the last few months being chronic daily use. I love an old fashioned joint, so happily I'm not drawn in by the vapes which are making it easier for my hubby to continue. Now that it's legal in CA, it's also more expensive for real buds (save that for another discussion!) so that keeps me from having an abundance about as I used to. I stopped checking in here and started to ignore my inner voice to not go back and so here I am....again.

Keep reading and writing posts here. This forum is the most supportive group of ex-potheads out there! Keep putting yourself in the future and imagine how you'll feel for breaking your sobriety after. I know for me that kept me going for a very long time. One day at a time. Sometimes the urge is overwhelming so try giving yourself a task to do to take your mind off of it: Take a brisk walk around the block. Do some pushups. Drink a gallon of water. Basically anything mundane but healthy that would make your brain focus on something else. Even reading a good book or calling a friend is a great way to redirect your head. It's easy to fall back into bad habits when you are not engaged or bored. For me I went back because I let down my guard. My husband and I were on different planes and so I just went back to be connected again. I also think that this time I was self-medicating instead of dealing with why I was unhappy or bored. I think it may have even caused my depression because it makes me overthink EVERYTHING! I have regrets about that. MJ disconnects us from what is real. I felt the disconnection from my teenagers and myself. I am over 50 now and I strongly believe the excessive use has affected my memory now more than ever. I was forgetting conversations, events, people's names at an alarming rate even when I wasn't stoned. Now that I have quit again (4 weeks now) I feel much better and sharper although I doubt it will ALL come back. Having been close to people recently that are suffering from dementia and Alzheimers, I am seeing a similarity in the memory issues I have when I get stoned too often. It's a scary place to be. I think I would make a good subject for a study on this! So many people think that ganja is harmless and not addictive. I disagree wholeheartedly! It may not be addictive in the same ways as heroine or coke, but it does have an addictive quality. One thing that did help take the edge off for me is a homeopathic supplement called 5-htp. Check it out. I find that what I do miss about pot is that calming effect. The dopamine release I think....I'm no scientist, but you know what I mean? 5-htp gave me that a bit but be careful as it has Tryptophan in it which can make you drowzy. It is not an FDA approved supplement, but it works well and I keep it around for those moments that my nerves are raw and I need to take the edge off.

Anyways, glad to see someone in the same week number as I am. Yours is the very first post I have read in a very long time. Take care and hope to see you here!
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#8

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Tue May 08, 2018 3:40 pm

Jage. ..Thanks for your reply and we'll done for being 4 weeks clean that's amazing. You have given me some great advice and I will look up the supplement later when I get a sec. Totally get what you mean about needing something to take the edge off I feel like that by about 6 pm most evenings. For once it's sunny here (I'm in the uk) so will definitely start walking for an hour or so in the evenings. You are in c.a....lucky you ! Keep going regardless of what your husband is doing sounds to me like you have a lot of will power as you have already kicked it once for 5 years...keep in touch x
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#9

Postby Cali-Detroit » Tue May 08, 2018 5:44 pm

Hi Mary,

I am also in CA, and I was a 20 yr daily smoker, and for the last 10, it was 3-5 times a day, often more, starting in the morning. Waiting until after 12pm made me feel like I was doing ok, which was also my alcoholic grandfather's favorite lie with his booze.

I have been growing almost as long as I've been smoking, and the culture out here has made it acceptable for a very long time. Just last year we pulled 10lbs from my dad's back yard (oh yeah forgot to mention, it's a family tradition btw) and there is still 2 gallon ziplocs and many, many, many Mason jars full scattered around his garage. Fortunately, I live 3 hours away with my own family.

I'm at day 34 myself, and I wake up every morning feeling absolutely destroyed, in my head and body. But reading about people here who have made it to 6 months, 10 months, 1year or more is truly inspiring. It's hard to believe this will ever get better, but have faith. I was able to quit for 6 months in 2014, and I do remember feeling much better once I got there.
Of course, as soon as I quit, I started taking a Percocet every night, so that may not count. I eventually stopped all drugs after about 3 months.

I also am going to try 5htp as many have found a benefit. Regular exercise is almost as effective as drugs themselves, but of course nothing will quite match the real thing. But remember the price we have paid with two DECADES of abuse. It's shocking for me to even write that statement, but it is what it is.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. It sounds trite and cliche, but that doesn't make it any less so.

Good luck to you and keep pushing through...I know it will be worth it in the end.
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#10

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Tue May 08, 2018 6:25 pm

Hi cali-detroit thanks for your post..C.A sounds like a fun place and your dad sounds like an interesting man. 2 decades is such a long time to be doing this to ourselves I also can't believe I have smoked for so long. I used to tell myself it was a lifestyle choice and that I wasn't hurting anyone so what's the problem ! But as it turns out the problem was I was hurting myself ! I seem to be ok in the mornings but by early evening feel like I'm climbing the walls desperate for a little relief from daily life ! Have started to do zumba which helps a bit and have tried yoga too but I don't do it regularly enough for any real benefits. Well done to you for 34 days clean that's great. I know it's so hard but just keep pushing through. Maybe you should move to the uk I think it's probably a little more difficult to get although clearly not impossible!! Keep in touch and keep fighting the good fight x
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#11

Postby Cali-Detroit » Tue May 08, 2018 6:54 pm

Hi Mary,

Thanks for the encouragement, always appreciated! I would love to visit the UK and Europe in general. I can't help but think I would have by now had I not been trapped in a stoned haze my whole adult life. But alas, it's now time to move forward.

It's funny, morning is my most brutal time, and I do better as the day goes on. However, night time brings on the craziest, most bizzare thoughts. Night was always my heaviest times for smoking, as the wife and kids were asleep and I could just go nuts. I actually thought I was having a conversation with Beyonce the other night, telling her she needed to quit the vocal gymnastics and start singing one note at a time (I'm a musician). Im not even a fan of her, and I loathe celebrities in general. But it was hilarious and gave me the very slightest of chuckles.

Good show on the excercise! Keep it up...I am a total lazy bum, and I've been talking, and talking about it, but still no action. I swear I'm starting tomorrow! :D

We can do this! Still many good years ahead I believe, so no more mourning the past. It cannot be changed and it does us no good to dwell. Onward and upward! Take care and well done!
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#12

Postby Bagobones » Tue May 08, 2018 7:19 pm

Cali-Detroit wrote:Hi Mary,

Thanks for the encouragement, always appreciated! I would love to visit the UK and Europe in general.


Norwegian airline is flying LAX and Oakland to Europe for next to nothing. I say go for it.

And people, dont worry about 20 years stoned. Those thoughts will go away and be replaced by pride for quitting when you feel better.. Trust me and the 100000s of others saying it...

And even though time seems to stand still now when your detoxing and rewiring your brains, feeling flat, depressed and anxious, think about how time flies for us that have lived a little. When you are looking back at this time in a year from now, it will seem as that time too just flew by....

God, now I miss California! Ive never seen beautiful Bay Area sober, even though I lived there for many years...
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#13

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Tue May 08, 2018 7:40 pm

Cali-detroit....that really made me laugh...having a conversation with Beyonce..love it. I think for me the mornings are so busy getting my children ready for school and myself ready for work I don't have a second to think about anything els, although once I've dropped them off and am on my way to work I have to breath deeply and push the anxiety away. It's once they are in bed in the evening I was so used to sitting outside with a joint and chilling for a bit....now I've swooped that for this, writing to strangers half way across the world..bazaar but fun too. Good luck with the exercising I'm sure you can do it. I'm not exactly full of energy myself thus zumba once a week and a bit of you tube yoga for beginners !! Chat soon x
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#14

Postby Cali-Detroit » Tue May 08, 2018 7:42 pm

Thanks Bones, that I'd exactly the thing I needed to hear. I truly believe what your saying and I can't wait to get to that place. It seems light years away at the moment.

Raising a young family in CA is a mighty expensive endeavor, so my European dreams will have to wait a bit. But who knows, I see myself achieving things I never thought possible, even at this early stage of quitting. A year from now, anything will be possible. Here's hoping! Take care
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