ready to give up giving up !

#30

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 13, 2018 7:28 am

Thanks helenadoc I believe you are right and have made the decision to just get on with it....although I would like to take some supplements but not sure where to start, everyone seems to take so many different things I'm not sure what will help the most. I need some help with my anxiety I went to the pharmacy yesterday and he was not helpful told me to see my doctor any advice on what to try? Thanks again xx
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#31

Postby helenadoc » Sun May 13, 2018 8:00 am

I'm taking magnesium 500 mg capsules and every now and then some B complex (i don't take them in the long run because they make me me eat a lot and i put on some serious weight :D). Magnesium is very good for anxiety. If i have a panick attack and have some around and take it, it cuts that wave of adrenaline. It doesn't make it go away, but it calms you down a bit.
I wanna go and buy some Omega3+fish oil. They come together in some oily yellow capsules. And on top of that add some silymarin to help my liver. It gives you some good energy. All of these are natural suplements, nothing chemical. I'm gonna give them a shot, if they work...good. If they don't..at least i tried.
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#32

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 13, 2018 3:20 pm

Hi all...I'm having my worst day so far..not sure what's going on but I feel terrible today had a major crying episode this morning, shaking hands feel like it will never get better! My husband phoned a drugs help line for me and they are going to see me sometime next week so at least I will get some help now, I think I really need it. I e done 6 weeks and 2 days without any outside help ( apart from all of you who have been an amazing support ) but I think it's time for some medical intervention now..just dragged myself out to lunch with my family and I sat there like a zombie just couldn't wait to het home to the sofa..I have no energy at all. I feel so guilty that my kids have to see me like this and I'm so angry with myself for ever allowing this to get so out of control
Please God I will feel better soon...anyone with any suggestions please feel free. Xx
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#33

Postby Cali-Detroit » Sun May 13, 2018 4:25 pm

Hi Mary,

So sorry to hear that. I've been right at the edge myself personally so I can empathize with you and those feelings. Unfortunately this is part of the process it seems. I hate to say it, but it seems to be something that you'll have to suffer through. I'm embracing the pain and accepting it as my reality for the time being. The natural instinct is to avoid any discomfort, as that likely the reason this got so out of control for so damn long. I mean if we're being honest, it didn't go on this long because it was still just so much fun after decades of daily abuse. There was something else underneath all that, and weed was an effective solution.

I'm glad your getting some help, that's very good to hear. I hope it brings you some relief.
The best thing for me is the focusing on the long term results and the hope of being the person I know i can be. A bit trite, yes, but no less true.

Hang in there, and know those bad days will pass. Take pleasure in the smallest of things and take stock of what you are grateful for.
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#34

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 13, 2018 5:39 pm

Cali-detroit..Thanks so much for answering me..I feel so desperate today. I'm 45 but honestly feel like a little girl...I actually phoned my mum today for some comfort (this is not like me ) I lost my dad two years ago to cancer and for some reason it's all I can think about at the moment. My filter that tells me this will all pass and get better at some point seems to have vanished. I know you are right this is something we just have to get through even though every part of me this morning was saying have a joint end this agony....but I didn't !
How are you feeling at the moment, how's your quit going ? Thanks again for keeping in touch x
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#35

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 13, 2018 5:47 pm

Jage how are you getting on ?
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#36

Postby Cali-Detroit » Sun May 13, 2018 6:05 pm

Mary,

No probs, glad to talk. So sorry bout your dad. Mine is early stages of Alzheimer's. He will be moving in with us as I am the only one who will be able to care for him. I'm preparing for the inevitable.

It's going about the same for me too. I'm 40 and feel a similar despair and regret. But the past is done and gone, so no use dwelling . Easier said than done, I know. Body hurts, mind is in a constant fog. Far worse than ever was stoned. Weed was a performance enhancer for me, in every way. Now I feel like a total nothing, a waste of space. But it's 11am here, so I'll get better as the day rolls on. If I get outside the house, I find that helps quite a lot. Day 40 tomorrow, so there's that. Took a bath last night, not my style usually, but with some tunes and Epsom salts, it did help. If you have access to massage, that's pretty great as well. Spend a little money on you, it's worth it. Take care and keep fighting...we can do this! :D
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#37

Postby dhae2604 » Sun May 13, 2018 6:09 pm

Hi mary. I know what youre feeling cause Im in a bad wave also of paws for a few days. mostly mental anxiety, sleep diaturbance, nausea, mood swings etc. It will subside in a few days to weeks. Awhile ago is the hardest for me. I almost thinking suicide thats how bad it is. But it lessen alot now. I will try to talk with a psychologist bcoz psychiatrist here in our country pushes me more psych drugs. I know this is really hard, you have go this far (almost 2mos) &. dont throw the towel yet relapsing. I suggest you to buy the book by dr. melemis theres a section regarding paws & you will understand alot why this happens. We are here for support & we can so this.
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#38

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Mon May 14, 2018 1:41 pm

Cali-detroit thanks for your kind words sorry to hear about your dad, alzimers is a horrible illness my father in law is in the very early stages too.. its good that he has you in his life to help him even though it will be tuff for you to go through. I'm here whenever you want or need to chat. Feel better and keep going. X
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#39

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Mon May 14, 2018 1:44 pm

Dhay2604 ..again thanks for the support. Sorry to hear that your not feeling so good at the moment I hope it will pass quickly for you. I've just come back from speaking to my councillor and it was good although emotionally draining! Fingers crossed we all feel better soon x
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#40

Postby dhae2604 » Mon May 14, 2018 1:53 pm

Thanks. Hope you recover faster than us. Are you on meds mary?
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#41

Postby tokes » Mon May 14, 2018 2:49 pm

Everything your feeling is classic Paws. I can relate to being a zombie at family occasions or social gatherings. It will always come in waves. Recovery is not linear but instead has an up and down nature. It’s the nature of healing. Sometimes thing have to get worse to get better. The 6 month mark is the game changer where you will realise that you will experience more good days than bad. I’m male and I found pushing weights sped up my recovery process. It seems testosterone has some benefits and gave me some kind of life force energy to push through. It also helped build my confidence which was shattered through this process.
Don’t feel bad on yourself or what this is doing to your family. It happens to the best of us. It’s called life, no one is born knowing everything and how to live perfectly. It’s like going down an endless river and along the way we learn what this experience we call life is about. You will find at the end of this quit (somewhere around the 1 year mark) you will feel like a brand new person, even stronger than before.

Keep going. Don’t give up. Reach the 6 month mark then you won’t go back.

Peace
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#42

Postby Bagobones » Mon May 14, 2018 3:28 pm

Anxious_mary_420 wrote:although I would like to take some supplements but not sure where to start, everyone seems to take so many different things I'm not sure what will help the most. I need some help with my anxiety I went to the pharmacy yesterday and he was not helpful told me to see my doctor any advice on what to try? Thanks again xx


Remember suplements are just food.. With good healthy eating and sun (daylight) in your face every day it should not be necessary. But if you feel like you havent eaten good enough food, supplements are excellent. I take a multivitamin that i made sure had magnesium and zink. I also do D vitamine (fishoil).. But that too is fish and sun. So with enough fish eaten and sun in your face it really should not be nesecarry.
I do it because I am lazy with food, and tend to make easy stuff..

To give an example. I know top fighters. Like UFC fighters, K1 kickboxing champs, Mauy Thai lumpini station champions, Gracie academy BJJ fighters and so on. Top competitors. Some of them, like the Muay Thai girl look like a muscle machine. That little woman can knock most men I know out with one punch... hehehe.
They hardly eat any suppliments at all. Only a little protein powder if they didnt get to eat enough that day before training.. The rest is good old fashioned somewhat healthy diet! But most of them you can bribe with a good burger and milkshake.. hehehe...
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#43

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Tue May 15, 2018 12:00 pm

Thanks for the replys everyone the support really helps. I went to a drugs drop in centre yesterday as just couldn't take the anxiety any more. I have no started some anti depressants which initially I was worried about as they can make you more anxious to begin with but thankfully so far so good I am also now taking magnesium 500g. Today is a good day and I feel fairly calm. I hope the meds work and I can begin to feel a little more human than I have in the last 6 and a half weeks. Hope you are all doing well. Let's do this together so we can all find happiness in a sober world . Thanks again for the support , sending some right back at you xx
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#44

Postby helenadoc » Tue May 15, 2018 12:48 pm

Hey Mary, i'm really glad you are feeling better. Hang in there honey, mostly it will pass. I know you sometimes feel like the world is collapsing around you, but it is just an ilusion. Keep up with the magnesium, i find it really helpful, like i told you before.
When i was having so much anxiety as you have right know, i thought i was going crazy. I was shaking, trembling, heart pounding, feeling the loss of control in my brain...but it is playing with you. I don't wanna scare you, but it may get worse. After you'll reach a certain point it will calm down a little bit and you will know then that is just a hard time and it will pass.
Trust me, it goes away in time. But you have to be pacient. I know it's hard, i'm not a pacient person either, but you can't speed the recovery. It will take as much as it's needed to take.
Take care of you!
Btw, i don't know why but i think about you everyday. Maybe because i find myself so much in your descriptions, at the beggining of my recovery :)
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