I feel vulnerable

Postby bunnyrabbit » Sun May 27, 2018 10:19 pm

I’ve always had this thing where I’ve just felt quite ‘vulnerable’, almost like a small child.

With my ex - he was so worried about me all the time, and he would constantly compliment me, comfort me when I was upset and fuss over me. And spoil me. Weirdly he was younger than me. His nickname for me was ‘Gorgeous’.

I’m really sad that I no longer have that. I fantasise about just having someone protect me and make everything okay. I also get the urge to look cute and innocent, even childlike.

A couple of years ago, I used to fantasise about accidentally hurting myself, going to a guy I’m attracted to and saying ‘I fell over and it hurts :(‘ while crying and having him hold me and comfort me like I’m 2 years old.

Sounds bad, but I even fantasise about being treated like a child during sex.

I don’t feel comfortable showing emotion in front of friends and family (I feel like they don’t care sometimes). Only my counsellor (and my ex when we were together) sees me cry.

Why do I have this?
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#1

Postby bunnyrabbit » Mon May 28, 2018 7:30 pm

Bump
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#2

Postby sundaynightstress » Mon May 28, 2018 8:13 pm

I wish I could help you out. I think your best advice is to seek professional help from a therapist. I don't know what could cause you to feel this way. Was there some traumatic event in your childhood that caused you to feel abandoned? Is that why you seek comfort now? Perhaps you feel inadequate with your own self confidence, but why?

These are all guesses. I would seek out help from a professional.
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#3

Postby bunnyrabbit » Mon May 28, 2018 10:24 pm

sundaynightstress wrote:I wish I could help you out. I think your best advice is to seek professional help from a therapist. I don't know what could cause you to feel this way. Was there some traumatic event in your childhood that caused you to feel abandoned? Is that why you seek comfort now? Perhaps you feel inadequate with your own self confidence, but why?

These are all guesses. I would seek out help from a professional.

Do you think this is a normal way to feel? And my parents were good people, but they did say some horrible things and hit me, and I never used to feel very safe at home. Also people in my family weren’t really emotional so sometimes didn’t know how to handle it when I got upset. It made me feel abandoned.

And in the present day, I really struggle to be myself around people; I long for that person who unconditionally accepts me. My confidence isn’t as bad as it was though.
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#4

Postby sundaynightstress » Wed May 30, 2018 3:08 am

I'd say it's probably not normal. It's not a big deal, I'm sure you can overcome it.

So you want to feel protected and taken care of. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. On the other hand, you should feel like you can take care of yourself on your own. Self-love and self-confidence are good things, but obviously too much isn't a good thing.

What do you do for a living? What are your hobbies? Maybe look around and try to find someone with common interests. Especially in areas you excel at --- that might help.
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#5

Postby Kasper » Wed May 30, 2018 9:51 am

WOW... This sounds fake, like somebody trying to weed out a perv. Why is your Ex you Ex? Personally I hate pitty compliments and whatnot, feels like im being lied to. You like feeling like your a child being molested? because thats what that would be. Have you been sexually abused? There are plenty of men who would be into you and rob you of every last drop of child like innocence. Heres some advice, Grow some claws before you get yourself hurt really bad. Find a man that will sexually abuse you and then apologize later and lick your wounds, it helps with trauma which just so happens, can be self inflicted mentally. How old are you? be honest, it helps. I can help, I have alot of experience with exactly this. There is however no hope for you if your in your 20s you have something very fragile, the other extreme is just as fragile because people will manipulate you thru this. you have got to know how to stand up for yourself and cut down on the S&M all day.
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#6

Postby bunnyrabbit » Wed May 30, 2018 10:03 am

sundaynightstress wrote:I'd say it's probably not normal. It's not a big deal, I'm sure you can overcome it.

So you want to feel protected and taken care of. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. On the other hand, you should feel like you can take care of yourself on your own. Self-love and self-confidence are good things, but obviously too much isn't a good thing.

What do you do for a living? What are your hobbies? Maybe look around and try to find someone with common interests. Especially in areas you excel at --- that might help.

At the moment, I’m just looking for a job. I would like to go into healthcare eventually. I like going for walks, and writing. You’re right - I do need to find more people I can click with.
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#7

Postby bunnyrabbit » Wed May 30, 2018 10:05 am

Kasper wrote:WOW... This sounds fake, like somebody trying to weed out a perv. Why is your Ex you Ex? Personally I hate pitty compliments and whatnot, feels like im being lied to. You like feeling like your a child being molested? because thats what that would be. Have you been sexually abused? There are plenty of men who would be into you and rob you of every last drop of child like innocence. Heres some advice, Grow some claws before you get yourself hurt really bad. Find a man that will sexually abuse you and then apologize later and lick your wounds, it helps with trauma which just so happens, can be self inflicted mentally. How old are you? be honest, it helps. I can help, I have alot of experience with exactly this. There is however no hope for you if your in your 20s you have something very fragile, the other extreme is just as fragile because people will manipulate you thru this. you have got to know how to stand up for yourself and cut down on the S&M all day.

Lol, it’s not fake unfortunately.
He’s an ex because he wanted sex all the time whereas I found sex painful and uncomfortable, also he felt I didn’t see him as a priority. Without meaning to, I also took my past issues out on him, and I feel so guilty for that.
I don’t quite like the feeling of being a child during sex in an abusive way, just someone being really affectionate and protective of me during sex.
I don’t think I have been sexually abused, although I have other symptoms that suggest something happened, but if I post them on here I’ll probably be banned... if you would like to know what it is, you can PM me.
I am 20.
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#8

Postby DrPsychFeels » Wed May 30, 2018 7:10 pm

bunnyrabbit wrote:I don’t think I have been sexually abused, although I have other symptoms that suggest something happened


Regardless of whether you were abused, to feel less vulnerable you will at some point find it helpful to talk about these symptoms with a professional.
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#9

Postby bunnyrabbit » Wed May 30, 2018 10:45 pm

DrPsychFeels wrote:
bunnyrabbit wrote:I don’t think I have been sexually abused, although I have other symptoms that suggest something happened


Regardless of whether you were abused, to feel less vulnerable you will at some point find it helpful to talk about these symptoms with a professional.

Thank you, I think I need to do that.
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#10

Postby quietvoice » Wed May 30, 2018 10:56 pm

bunnyrabbit wrote: I would like to go into healthcare eventually.

That being the case, perhaps these two YouTube channels would be of interest:
John Rose,
Robert Morse ND.

Enjoy.
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#11

Postby sundaynightstress » Wed May 30, 2018 11:23 pm

bunnyrabbit wrote:At the moment, I’m just looking for a job. I would like to go into healthcare eventually. I like going for walks, and writing. You’re right - I do need to find more people I can click with.


Try pursuing some things you enjoy, and meeting new people. Eventually, you will find someone who has dealt with similar issues. Best of luck - you can do this!
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