How fight this?

#135

Postby Mayfair » Thu Sep 27, 2018 8:42 am

I wish you well.
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#136

Postby Leo Volont » Thu Sep 27, 2018 1:43 pm

Hi Guess What,

To worry about being "cheated on" shows a degree of insecurity and neediness which is unbecoming in a Man. As a Man why should you care what Women does? Then remember, all love affairs eventually wind down. If it is not the woman cheating on the man, well, it will be the Man. Remember that while you are blaming the women for cheating, you might want to cheat a little yourself someday. It is best to not pay any attention to all of that. But, yes, if you are in a relationship and the cheating is getting flagrant and indiscreet, then you might ask your Lady Friend if she is not beginning to feel crowded in the relationship. Nothing to be angry about, but just a fact that you both have to deal with. But, yes, some couples, in the crazy enthusiasm of new love, seriously over commit themselves -- moving in together and buying a lot of property and stuff that is "ours" and so when the breakup comes, then there are a thousand details to deal with and decisions about who gets what. Somebody has to find a new place to live. Or maybe both of you, if the rent was taking two paychecks to handle. Sometimes when one breaks up, it is not anger over the Romance, but anger over having to deal with all the damned details.

Oh, that brings to mind a trick that women, and even some guys have. After the First Flush of New Love when things begin to cool down, the Woman will want to seek security and confidence by asking for Commitments. It is exactly what shouldn't be done. People who hit a rough patch think they can fix things by getting engaged. that's crazy. Married couples who are having problems might decide to have a baby. Somehow they think that by intensifying and elaborating the Commitments, that it will somehow make up for the ever decreasing quality and quantify of Love. But honestly, once you fall into a losing streak, doubling your bets will only make it worse. If a woman ever asks for some kind of a commitment, well, remind her of the most recent difficulties in the relationship and suggest to her, that it does not seem to be wise to make any kind of a fresh commitment while you both are still having so many problems, and that perhaps it would be more sensible to evaluate whether the relationship should continue on at all.
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#137

Postby Guess what? » Thu Sep 27, 2018 10:21 pm

Yeah, this in case of a relationship.
But if I just met a girl, nowadays there's a joke, which is "and if i go with another one?" or "I wanna see others", I reply with "Ok, sure, I'm nobody to tell you to do not". They just reply "I would/will do whatever you say".
Ok, I should not be angry about this, but well sure I will be more okay if it does not seem like I give them the permission. :lol:
I met another girl, and she is crazy, and lost her mind for me. I cannot tell she's okay, she is breaking up with her boyfriend and she's cheating on him with some guys, the last (or so she said) is me and she looks like really crazy for me. We just met, but she's asking what i want for her, that she cannot live without me, she feels something.
Honestly everything looks like really.. crazy? I mean, looks like the same script: she's 20, having trouble with his boyfriend (40 years old), he's violent and she meets me. Then looks like she likes me so much, but at the first mistake she wants to break up. With the first one I suffered really much and get angry as faque (and started this topic). Now I'm trying to do not get into this much, but pretending so.

Yeah, thanks for the tips, actually it is a problem that people had trouble and so the go together in something bigger, maybe thinking that a new experience can turn on again that "fire".
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#138

Postby Leo Volont » Fri Sep 28, 2018 2:42 pm

Guess what? wrote:Yeah, this in case of a relationship.
But if I just met a girl, nowadays there's a joke, which is "and if i go with another one?" or "I wanna see others", I reply with "Ok, sure, I'm nobody to tell you to do not". They just reply "I would/will do whatever you say".
Ok, I should not be angry about this, but well sure I will be more okay if it does not seem like I give them the permission. :lol:
I met another girl, and she is crazy, and lost her mind for me. I cannot tell she's okay, she is breaking up with her boyfriend and she's cheating on him with some guys, the last (or so she said) is me and she looks like really crazy for me. We just met, but she's asking what i want for her, that she cannot live without me, she feels something.
Honestly everything looks like really.. crazy? I mean, looks like the same script: she's 20, having trouble with his boyfriend (40 years old), he's violent and she meets me. Then looks like she likes me so much, but at the first mistake she wants to break up. With the first one I suffered really much and get angry as faque (and started this topic). Now I'm trying to do not get into this much, but pretending so.

Yeah, thanks for the tips, actually it is a problem that people had trouble and so the go together in something bigger, maybe thinking that a new experience can turn on again that "fire".


Hi GW,

It's a good idea to never catch a girl "on the rebound". And, yes, girls should stay away from guys that just broke up. Heck, some people say six months, and other people say a year. By those standards YOU are still on the rebound from your last breakup, and so you would be a terrible choice for a woman. Also, the Ex-Boy Friend if "violent".
so, you don't have to just wait for the woman to get over her old boyfriend, but it would be good to wait for the ex-boyfriend to fully process the break up too. You wouldn't want to get killed, would you? Also, the woman could be trying to use you, to make her boyfriend jealous. Maybe she is trying to get you killed because nothing would excite her more than seeing her 40 year old boyfriend break every bone in your body and then skin you alive. Some chicks are really crazy, you know?
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#139

Postby Guess what? » Sun Sep 30, 2018 3:07 am

Hi Leo.

Sure you are drastic. xD
Her boyfriend is really far, and she moved on in my region for start a "new life". She says she doesn't want him anymore, but in the same time she keeps answering to his messages and let him ruin her day.
Today she showed that "wife side", that side which she wants to take over the control and want explanations.
Once I would fell in this trap, now I will not.
I mean, I'll just see how it will go, but when it will be worst, I will give up.

I'm not a bad choice. I'm a really good and kind guy. Just have trouble for a job, but 90% of people have it here.
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#140

Postby Guess what? » Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:18 pm

Well, things are went good, and I had sex for first time. Yay
Not a complete session, but i can tell I did insert myself in a girl.

So, now the girl is coming back home; I explained to another one (by chat, I don't really know her) how I have been gentle and kind with her, and so She started to call me "slave" or "whiteknights", saying that she can see that I'm aggressive sometimes, but just because I suffer things, and not 'cause I'm bad.
I stayed calm and just explained to her that i'm "easy going" and since that girl didn't steal anything from me; I did not any sacrifice.
But sure that girl annoyed me with her judgments. tsk
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#141

Postby Guess what? » Sun Oct 14, 2018 2:48 pm

So the girl cheated on me with her ex.
Well, everybody understood that things were going in this way.
So, I stayed calm and say to her that i want to close up this.
I don't understand, she comes back to him everytime, 'cause "in the beggining he was kind" even if then he beat her several times, and she still...

Really, sometimes i think i'm just too good.
Well, everybody cheats on others, but at the very beggining?
And now I know that she will get banged everyitime from him, so...

Yeah, i know we said that cheating shouldn't be a problem, but though it's very hard.
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#142

Postby Roman_K » Sat Feb 23, 2019 4:24 am

Guess what? wrote:Any tips?


Have you tried meditation? It doesn't have to be too scientific, just focusing on something for long periods of time and bringing your attention back to this thing when it wonders.
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#143

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Sat Dec 12, 2020 3:57 pm

Its a good reason to stop drinking. Drinking plays in mental and emotional issues, give up drinking and find a drink alternative to alcohol.
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#144

Postby Launcer » Fri Dec 17, 2021 1:07 pm

Usually, depression is caused by a lack of strength, or simple vitamin deficiency. Rest, gain strength and move on. If the usual vitamins do not help, try stronger specialized remedies, for example Major depressive disorder in my signature
The most important thing is not to despair and be strong!
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#145

Postby Leo Volont » Sat Dec 18, 2021 12:31 am

Launcer wrote:Usually, depression is caused by a lack of strength, or simple vitamin deficiency. Rest, gain strength and move on. If the usual vitamins do not help, try stronger specialized remedies, for example Major depressive disorder in my signature
The most important thing is not to despair and be strong!


Good Morning Launcer,

Yeah, gather strength and rest. Sounds great. This is an Anger Management Forum (did you look at where you were posting?) and usually I blame STRESS. But, yeah, you are right that both additional Strength (what kind of Strength?.. now that I think about it) and Rest would be perfect for unwinding Stress. But not everybody can take off six weeks for a Trip to the Bahamas. Angry People are usually under a lot of NECESSARY Pressure -- demanding careers when they just can't waive off new assignments from the Boss or they can't quit because their Resume already has too many quits. And Relationships ONLY GET WORSE if you tell your partner to Back Off and give you some Space. Then there are millions of people who can't get enough sleep because there is only 24 hours in a day, and millions of people who can't either afford to eat right, or don't have the time to cook well balanced meals. Launcer, we live in a really Dysfunctional Society and so a lot of our problems are simply locked in, and the Capitalists are thinking that "They can't make omelets without breaking a whole lot of eggs". and "If you want to make the Horse go faster, just use more WHIP", right?

But, yeah, Vitamins are a good idea. What could they hurt, right?
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#146

Postby gregor7782 » Fri Feb 04, 2022 2:31 am

Alcoholics drink because they’re alcoholic. I don’t know if alcohol is your problem, but alcohol seems to appear in your problems. My name is g, I’ve been sober for a min. I’d love to hear your experience, or whatever you may need?

The will of god (of your own understanding) will never take you where the grace of god (of your own understanding) will not protect you.
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#147

Postby Leo Volont » Sat Feb 05, 2022 1:31 am

gregor7782 wrote:Alcoholics drink because they’re alcoholic. I don’t know if alcohol is your problem, but alcohol seems to appear in your problems. My name is g, I’ve been sober for a min. I’d love to hear your experience, or whatever you may need?

The will of god (of your own understanding) will never take you where the grace of god (of your own understanding) will not protect you.


Good Morning Gregor, Yeah, I check this Forum everyday to look for recent traffic, and most days are completely uneventful, but today I was happy to find you. I find your Theological Perspective to be worth examining, that the Will of God will never place one in a hole that the Grace of God WILL not protect you from. Really? How about Joan of Arc? She was Enlisted by the Angles to Save France. She wasn't much older than 16 when her participation was instrumental in breaking the Siege of Orleans. Remember, that was during the 100 Years War and the French had been on a long losing streak. She was a rallying point for fresh enthusiasm which fueled the Advance to Rheims, where the Heir to the French Throne was finally able to be Crowned where French Kings are supposed to be crowned. But on the next campaign, she was captured, and humiliated by the English who accused her of Deviant Crossdressing (when it was common practice to allow Women Riders to wear Pants for the sake of Modesty, and she was Burned at the Stake. Was that God's Grace? It certainly seemed like God's WILL because Joan of Arc as a dead Martyr was a Super Grievance that the French held against the English, and the Territories held by the English went into active revolt and the War turned towards France's favor. It just looked like God felt it an overriding necessity that Joan of Arc die.

Next we have the 20th Century German-Jewish Philosophy Edith Stein who during a sabbatical read the works of Saint Teresa of Avila on the Mystical Realization of God and she converted to Catholicism and became herself a Carmelite Nun. She didn't manage to get out of Europe before the English and the Americans set up their Embargo of all of Europe, except Portugal, or she never tried leaving (people forget that the Holocaust wouldn't have been half as bad for the Jews if only the British and the Americans had permitted the Jews to LEAVE Europe, but apparently they wanted the Jews dead too). So Edith Stein was shipped off to the Concentration Camps and while it might have been God's Will because she did great Service while in the Camps, still she Died. And she died for not anything nearly so great as what Joan of Arch died for. That is the case for most Martyrs, is that it would seem that the LIVES they had snatched away from them was actually worth more than anything they might have saved. Yeah, would God bargain away a Saint for a Sinner? I think only the Devil would Trade Good for Bad, right?

Yeah, if I have you engaged and you're interested in talking, we can do that. Many Christians have their talking points that they borrowed from their Pastors and they're personally uncomfortable with looking at those ideas with any kind of scrutiny, but who's to say how you go until we see. BUT, my view of God is derived from what Actual Mystical Experiences tell us, that God is a God of Transcendental Oneness, so INCLUSIVE that God offers Evil as much protection as the Good. Look at all the most Ancient Religions which were largely amoral, and God was not a God of Love, but a God of Power to be Feared more than Loved. The Transcendental God is Unchanging and Immutable, which means that God does not Care. There is no Providential Loving God, because God does not Take Sides. God is Unchanging because God is Happy with the way things are. We just have to look back at the Moral Orientations of those Ancient God is Oneness Religions. The Change towards Morality came with Persian Zoroastrianism, and the real Moral Messiah was Zarathustra, who posited the Idea that one step below the Highest God of Perfect Oneness, there the Heavens split into Duality, between the Light and the Darkness and Good and Evil. The Angles took the side of the Good and the Demons took the side of Evil. Now THAT makes sense to us, doesn't it. SO, Gregor, when speaking of a Providential Caring 'God', well, I believe you are miss-speaking. The only help we can hope for is Angelic. Also, Angelic Power is limited. We have never seen any BIG Miracles, and we have seen more Small Miracles than Large. What that means is that Miracles may be Supernatural but they still take some kind of Finite Energy in order to manifest.

If you're interested we can speak more about this. If you don't want to do so on a public forum than email me at leo@leovolont.com
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#148

Postby gregor7782 » Sat Feb 05, 2022 3:43 am

Nothing theological about it. I’m always taken care of, regardless of what I think or feel in the moment. I know nothing about anyone else’s journey. None of us wakes ourselves up. It’s pretty simple, over thinking and over analyzing separates the body from the mind.

As for your feedback, I totally appreciate the engagement.
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#149

Postby Leo Volont » Sun Feb 06, 2022 3:25 am

gregor7782 wrote:Nothing theological about it. I’m always taken care of, regardless of what I think or feel in the moment. I know nothing about anyone else’s journey. None of us wakes ourselves up. It’s pretty simple, over thinking and over analyzing separates the body from the mind.

As for your feedback, I totally appreciate the engagement.


Good Morning Gregor,

Okay, let me start with your "There is nothing Theological about it".

Really!? What you said before was "The will of god (of your own understanding) will never take you where the grace of god (of your own understanding) will not protect you."

From that you imply that No Matter How Other People Understand God it is nonetheless true that the Will of God will set strict Boundaries of Non-Harm to everybody, but then there is the Catch, that God's Will is subject to God's Grace. Okay, so THAT isn't a Theological Topic, your implied distinction between God's Will and God's Grace. So God's Will can save us all but God's Grace is the Malignant Factor that causes so much Suffering in the World, that God is Intentionally Withholding his Grace. Why would God do that? Let me Guess. God is Withholding Grace in order to Enforce the Rules of a Temporal Religion that has only been in Existence for a DOT of the Time that Universe, God's Creation, has existed. Remember, your Religion is not really all that Ancient. There were Civilizations BEFORE your Christianity or 'whatever', but you are speaking in Doctrine Speak that is clearly Christian. It's not Islamic, It's not Hindu, It's not Buddhist, It's not Judaic.... sounds like Kansas to me. So of course you are speaking about Theology.

Then, okay, if you are speaking in regards to nobody else's Journey, then does that mean you think your personal case is unique, that you are specially Blessed. Maybe you are the Awaited Messiah! Really, if God bails you out of every difficulty, then maybe you should be more ambitious. If God will allow you to defy Death, then why do you fear putting yourself forward? I suspect that you assume that God will only protect you if you remain very very very careful. You know, Atheists can be careful too.

But, yes, one assumption that I have in regards to the World and the People in it is that we all live under the same Natural and Spiritual Laws. The only way our 'Gods' could behave differently is if there really isn't any UNIVERSAL God but that our 'Gods' are just manifestation of our Psychologies, that each functionally adequate individual has a Mental Slot for their own personal kind of IDEALIZATION... something INSIDE yourself that you get to pretend is OUTSIDE yourself and is YOUR FREIND and everybody else's ENEMY, or whatever your Idealization is supposed to be. You see, Religious Theological Ideals of God have not been Consistent. So if you are speaking for only yourself, then why would you ever bring it up? If it is just your own personal Delusion and you even KNOW THAT then, what, you have trouble discerning the ends to your own logic? You really don't think anything through to the end, do you?

How about "none of us wakes ourselves up". So what does that mean. Are you confessing that you were indoctrinated by some 3rd Party. That would make sense. You know, that does not mean you have been 'woken up' so much as you have been Programmed and Activated.

Your last line is, well, something we would expect a Lizard to say, "It’s pretty simple, over thinking and over analyzing separates the body from the mind." Well, NO! It's NOT Simple. Theological Debates can be very elaborate and the distinctions can be so fine that one needs to study years in order to recognize the significance of each nuance. But you would call that "Over-Analyzing". Really, I read a Thesis one time that asserts that Intelligence is proportional to the level of Complexity that can be comprehended. SO that means that people would only be talking about OVER-ANALIZING after they had already Hit Their Limit for Comprehendible Complexity. Are you REALLY Sure you can't push just a little bit further. Are you telling me that you would think it fine if you were a MONKEY because the only thing that important to you is to be ONE WITH YOUR BODY and that your MIND is a a Foreign Object just out to Ruin your Body's Blossoming in Self Indulgence. Is all you do is Eat and Play With Yourself... do all that good BODY Work!?

Our Minds are designed to be the Body's Look-Out and Advisor. Intelligence has Evolved because Intelligence has been proven to help. Remember Alexander Pope's "Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread". It is the quality of one's mental activity that separates the Wise Man from the Fool, isn't it. But you would shut off your Thinking because it is the only way you can in good conscious follow the Theology that was imposed on you by whoever it was who took you Captive. Do you ever see yourself as a puppet that is being Played. How much money are you funneling into the Church that Indoctrinated you? Maybe you need to be Woken Up again.

But it depends upon how much Intelligence you are intentionally turning off. Yes, if you really aren't that bright, then, well, all that I've written here will be like a Incomprehensible Fog. Ask yourself now whether anything I've said to you makes any sense at all. There may be no getting through to you. Your Church probably has a Pastor who specializes in running the same Routine over and over again with Impressionable Half Capacity Undereducated Persons. Supernatural Threats and Promises, along with some Social Support to make you feel good about making yourself their Slave. Man, do you realize you joined a Cult. That's what Cults are. Yeah, visit my YouTube Channel, and you can get a good perspective on Cults, but ONLY if I've been seriously underestimating you. But, really, if you know you are incapable of asserting Mental Leadership, then shouldn't you just concentrate on Listening. Don't talk about what you know you can't explain.
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