I feel like I'll never meet anyone again.

Postby berg101 » Thu Jun 07, 2018 2:37 pm

Hi

I've posted on here a couple of times, but basically my Fiancee left me about 3 months ago. We'd been together for 5 years and it was an incredibly co-dependent relationship, on both our parts. She was incredibly narcissistic and manipulative, but I loved her so much.

Now I'm single, I'm really trying hard to forge a new life without her, but the one area I'm really, really struggling with is convincing myself that I will find someone else. For some reason, in my mind I feel like I am destined to be alone for ever and that nobody will ever, ever even come close to my ex. I know it's silly, but I just wondered if any of you have been through the same thing and have any advice or experience that can 'discredit' this notion in my head. It's getting me really depressed now and the only way I can dispel it is through alcohol, but that ultimately makes it feel worse.

I'm 28 years old, I own my own home, I have a nice car, a cute doggy, a good job and I'm an attractive likeable guy - my self esteem is incredibly low though and my therapist has said that I'm one of the most vulnerable people she's ever worked with.

If someone could please proffer some guidance, or for me to even just have someone that's been through this to talk to would be great.

Thanks in advance guys - these forums really do help tremendously. People just think it's a 'breakup' and I should be over it by now, but it goes much, much deeper than that for me, and it's causing me to have immense suicidal thoughts.

Thank you.

Ben
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jun 07, 2018 4:02 pm

berg101 wrote:and my therapist has said that I'm one of the most vulnerable people she's ever worked with.


And what does the therapist recommend you do about the feeling that you will be alone?
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#2

Postby DrPsychFeels » Thu Jun 07, 2018 9:04 pm

berg101 wrote:Hi

I've posted on here a couple of times, but basically my Fiancee left me about 3 months ago. We'd been together for 5 years and it was an incredibly co-dependent relationship, on both our parts. She was incredibly narcissistic and manipulative, but I loved her so much.


I know you're uncomfortable now but consider yourself lucky to get out of that situation.

The mission now is to get to the root of your validation/codependent issues so you will no longer find a manipulative woman lovable.
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#3

Postby berg101 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:41 pm

Thanks for the reply guys.

Yeah - my therapist has said she’s done me a huge life changing favour by leaving, and as long as I begin to work through my co-dependency and attachment issues, I’ll finally be able to love myself and have a truly meaningful relationship with someone.

To be honest, the feelings of loneliness stem from lack of nurture when I was younger - I have loads of great friends and I’m never truly ‘lonely’ - I just long for the nurture from a woman. She said it’s to do with my mother not being nurturing enough. She’s also said I’ve to be incredibly careful that I don’t leap frog into another relationship that isn’t right for me, and before I’ve had chance to fully understand and grow from what’s happened in my life.

I have to say, I’m starting to see things in a massively different light, and I feel like each session I learn something new.
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