Overall drug use has gotten out of control

Postby BigBrotherGrimm » Fri Jun 08, 2018 12:20 am

Hey guys how have you all been?
I hope everybody is holding up and moving onto a better and happier life.

For me it is time to make a drastic change in my life.
I have been using drugs (coke, heroin- especially the latter, snorting not IV-ing) way more than ever since October and January-last week.

I have prepared to withdrawal from heroin for months by reading up on the subject and when I quit two weeks ago, I kept one untouched bag of the powder in the house, which I kept until a friend came by last Saturday to tell him about the situation and flush it with him watching. Him and other friends also pointed out to call them up anytime that I feel the urge. Which I do sometimes, but mostly I am glad that my mind is clear on this subject. I also flushed the Oxycodin pill I kept in the house.

My history with addiction goes back to about age 13 with weed and not being able to quit even though I wanted to badly since 19, became depressed for 5 years, then started working in tv and film and heard the news that my favorite aunt was about to die and that's when it was suddenly very easy to stop smoking weed. This is almost three years ago now.

But.. as I have come through my withdrawal and am very motivated to keep the opiates out of my life... I have been taking speed last week for two days AND am doing coke right now at this moment!! I know that speed and coke will not have that dragging effect of heroin immediately, but doing this all of a sudden right as I am withdrawing from heroin is a bad sign.

I am also contemplating (well, making up my mind more solid and consiously than before) to quit with all this stuff FOR GOOD.
Drinks, smokes, weeds, coke, opiates, pills or whatever. Because it's never enough and it only becomes more and more normal as time goes by. I am very sure that my girlfriend (who isn't bothered with addictive urges as much as I am - she can binge on probably anything and stay focused and just decides after a night or two that it's time to clean up) - will be up for this as well. She has been doing yoga and watching her intake of food and drinks for a long time. I have been doing heroin for about 5 months straight without her knowledge.

I MUST MAINTAIN with this opportunity. In three weeks my girlfriend will be back home from vacation and she will have sailed the sea for 5 weeks straight by then! So she is in a more healthy state than usual even and it will be easier for me than ever to follow in her footsteps. For her, not drinking is a pleasant thing to maintain for a while until she decides it's time for a drink. For me, it goes with fantasies about ultimate highs and stuff..

I did tell my best friend early on as well as that I have been looking up information on how to quit and how to withdrawal as comforatble as possible already when this sh** started. In the last couple of weeks I have told more friends and also a collegue about how this pissed me off and it resulted in my decision. It's good that I am not using the heroin, but bad that I am using other stuff right now. It's also good that I kept on whole bag without opening it to wait for the right moment so I could have a witness when flushing it.

I would really much like to clean all of this stuff up and be done with it FOR GOOD. I have had enough in my time!
Full Member
Posts: 192
Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 1:38 pm
Likes Received: 16


Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sat Jun 09, 2018 5:51 pm

I agree and think you should give it all up...you seem to be on one drug or another 24/7 and that's just can't be good for you in any way! I don't think there is an easy way to do this I think you just have to make the decision get rid of all your stuff and be done. I only have experience with weed although it's been a 24 year experience so there's not much I don't understand about that side of drug addiction. I have been clean for 10 weeks today and life is slowly getting better and better but depression and mostly anxiety were he'll for weeks. Many years ago now my husband had a problem with coke and although he thought he was ok and happy and funny on it, I can tell you he was a dick, rude arrogant and pretty nasty when he came down (very unlike his true character ) I believe you are quite young so do yourself a favour mate and quit all this sh** now. If you don't before you know it life will have passed you by and you will be in your 40's like me wondering what the f**k happened !! I wish you lots of luck and strength here for you if you want to talk xx
Junior Member
Posts: 82
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:33 pm
Likes Received: 41

Return to Addictions