Green tea day

#105

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:29 am

You need to push through that. Keep talking and asking questions until you reach common ground.

If you practise this with someone -- anyone -- as often as possible, you will start to make connections. And when you make regular connections with other people, it begins to change your brain's wiring.

If you're on your own all the time, your mind goes round and round the same silly worries until they take over. As soon as you find another person with the same concerns, you've got your circuit-breaker.
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#106

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:35 am

It's easy to choose the lonely way it requires no effort
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#107

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:45 am

Effort is the missing piece in your mind. Hunt it out and use it!

Only effort can ever bring reward.

Seriously, can you imagine a beautiful girl wanting to be with a man who makes no effort, who shows no interest in her?

Where do you think a life without effort will get you? The answer is, it's got you where you are today. And you keep telling us that where you are today is routinely so bad you wish you were dead. Effort, and plenty of it, is the only thing that can change your life.

Your choice, as always.
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#108

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:48 am

Today will be a social day just to experiment. I tried to talk to my roommate bu he seemed reluctant
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#109

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:54 am

I wish I'd been a fly on the wall.
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#110

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 7:58 am

Why?
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#111

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:03 am

Because maybe this guy is as socially awkward as you are. Or maybe you said something that acted as a roadblock. Or maybe he just didn't feel like talking. Or maybe he really is a jerk, as you first described him. I'd like to have seen it for myself.
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#112

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:07 am

Besides, I bet it's warmer there than it is here.
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#113

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:10 am

I opened the heater drank a tea at warm. Guy is not so bad he just didn't feel like talking I think. He may have some mental problems like me.
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#114

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:31 am

No one's on the ball all the time. Our minds are constantly changing. When we're tired it's not a good idea to push through; the brain needs to switch off. But the practise of any new art or skill makes important changes to brain structure.

This is why quietvoice and I have kept on at your about thinking differently. Optimism wins over pessimism. And Richard tells you to get up and do, because getting up and doing is the only way to make lasting change. It's important to demonstrate to yourself that you're not as helpless and hopeless as you've been telling us you are.
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#115

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:51 am

I went to visit a friend..I wasn't so willing but you talked about effort and I forced myself. Is it a good thing? To force myself?
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#116

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:53 am

Yes. And keep making the effort until it doesn't feel like effort at all, because you're starting to feel better about yourself.
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#117

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:55 am

Being social becoming a part of me?
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#118

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:03 am

Yes. It's a game-changer.
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#119

Postby desperate788 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:11 am

Actually I don't care being social spend effort for that to heal other aspects of my psyche
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