how to make some people stop asking me if i am ok?

Postby dogtree » Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:51 pm

i am kind of quiet person. And i hate it when some people ask me if i am ok? it is like something wrong with me. it is like being quiet is a mental illness. i just don't really into bs around.

this can have impact in my advancement!
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#1

Postby dogtree » Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:33 am

Being quiet person is tough. people making wrong assumption about be such as afraid of people .
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jun 20, 2018 1:36 pm

dogtree wrote: this can have impact in my advancement!


There is more going on than you just being quiet.

There are plenty of quiet people that exude confidence. They don’t say much, but when they do people listen.

People ask you if something is wrong, because there is more to your body language than silence. You most likely avoid eye contact and come across as avoidant. Instead of your body language displaying confidence, your body language signals the opposite. This is why people ask if you are okay.

And yes...your body language will hurt your advancement. Being quiet won’t hurt you. There are plenty of quiet people that are CEO’s and executives. There are plenty of quiet people that are leaders.
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#3

Postby dogtree » Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:07 pm

do you think people are stupid base judgement base on that assumption? Sometime, i just want to stare and be quiet. So you
recommend that i act out all of the time in workplace?
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:19 pm

dogtree wrote:do you think people are stupid base judgement base on that assumption? Sometime, i just want to stare and be quiet. So you
recommend that i act out all of the time in workplace?


Maybe I want to just sit in the workplace and slap myself on the forehead repeatedly. I might not be harming anyone else and maybe that makes me feel good. But, I would not think it odd or stupid if people came up to me and asked me if everything was okay.

You think your behavior is okay. You think staring and being quiet is fine and should not attract attention, but you are obviously wrong. Just like me slapping myself in the forehead understandably would attract attention, so does your behavior regardless if you think it should.

In other words, YOU are wrong. Once you understand this, your life can move forward. Once you understand that your behavior is what attracts people to ask you if you are okay, you will be able to adjust your behavior. The longer you try to pretend that others are wrong and you are right, the longer you will suffer the consequences of your behavior, including not advancing.

This doesn't mean you have to suddenly become some wonderful, outgoing person. Like I said, there are silent people that display confidence so it isn't just a matter of silence.

The bottom line, you have two choices:
-1- Continue staring and being quiet and blaming others for asking you why you are in effect slapping yourself in the forehead.

-2- Tweak your behavior so that people don't see you as in need of help.
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