Became sort of friendless - Can't take it much longer

Postby ShlomiUz » Mon Jun 25, 2018 7:08 am

Hello.

So ever since I was little (Ever since I got my first PC that is), I always had a social issue.

I am diagnosed with ADHD and Hyperactivity so either I was a mean little bastard who picked on everyone or a zombie (because of Ritalin).

These two conditions have made:

Pretty fat - because the Ritalin suppresses hunger, I used to not eat all day and just explode with hunger at night. being fat have made me basically without any confidence, and it was like that for a long long time.. until I've lost all of that fat and replaced it with muscle.

Socially dead - because I was either : very silent or very violent, it left me with little friends.

So I was always sort of a loner , and my only escape was my computer.

Even though I am 24 now, I have a job, I work out 4 days a week and I am not the person I once was.. my childhood experiences have left their mark on my life.

Currently - I have no friends.

I didn't had any true friends for a long time, sure I have a group of people probably seeing themselves as my friends but this group is mostly silent and unwilling to meet and hang out, so all we have really is a WhatsApp group that is mostly silent or filled with bs.

I still take solace in video games , ie - Playstation and PC.. but not like I once did.

I've reached an age, and a point where I literally can't take this anymore.. being like this , it leaves me feeling empty and sad most of the time.

I can't seem to find a relationship because I have no one to go out with and meet people, tinder is a dime and a dozen and it's usually just hookups..

I don't really know what to do, this feeling of emptiness is weighing down on me like a huge barbell, and I feel like I want to cry out my frustration most of the time.

I don't know how to meet new people anymore, the only thing keeping me going is.. well nothing really, my family maybe.. and my trip to Japan that will happen next week.

Other than that I feel like I just want to kill myself most of the time.

I crave human interaction , intimacy.. I miss it so much.

I don't know if my problem is advisable but I guess that just sharing it makes me feel a little bit better.
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#1

Postby Candid » Mon Jun 25, 2018 8:41 am

Yep, social media has the potential to make hermits of us all. Now that we can access the world, we haven't got time for the people around us.

You're over the ADHD and you've got your body back, so it's time to leave the difficult past behind.

You meet people by getting out and about. Start on WhatsApp by suggesting a meet-up somewhere you'd like to go, but not on your own. Join interest groups. Get off video games and electronic stuff in general.

I hope you'll enjoy Japan.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jun 25, 2018 12:01 pm

I agree with Candid. We have an entire generation raised by parents largely unaware of the negative impacts of the PC/Internet.

You don’t search for friends directly. Instead, you find activities and establish goals that require real world interactions. Friendships naturally evolve from these shared interests.
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#3

Postby n01 » Thu Jun 28, 2018 12:28 am

I'm interested in your trip to Japan, sounds very exciting... what sort of trip is it, how come there? Are you travelling by yourself? Scope to meet like-minded travellers?
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#4

Postby ShlomiUz » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:10 am

n01 wrote:I'm interested in your trip to Japan, sounds very exciting... what sort of trip is it, how come there? Are you travelling by yourself? Scope to meet like-minded travellers?


I've been learning Japanese for the past 3 years, and I became invested in their culture, their language and everything there is about the Japanese culture and people.

So after a long long time I've decided to take a trip to Japan by myself, why by myself? because I want to experience Japan my way, in my pace, and of course meet my friends in there.

Also, It's a beautiful country.
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#5

Postby Candid » Sat Jun 30, 2018 6:00 am

I toured Japan in 1992 and had a fabulous time. Let us know what you think of it.
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#6

Postby n01 » Sun Jul 01, 2018 1:24 am

Well here's to a wonderful adventure! I've heard Japanese is difficult for westerners to learn so hats off to you.
Have you travelled solo before? I've done a few travels solo, also during periods in my life of "I crave human interaction , intimacy.. I miss it so much.", and it really can (did for me) lend itself to making friends & romances & having 'experiences', much more than travelling with existing companions. So I hope something happens for you. Don't be shy. You're a free spirit now. Experiment with strangers :)
Keep us posted.
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#7

Postby ShlomiUz » Sun Jul 01, 2018 9:26 am

I'll keep you posted , thanks for the kind words.
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