how to stop loving aome one

Postby santosh » Sun Jul 01, 2018 6:43 am

I am 28 year old boy i love a girl she does not love me we are colleague and we meet every day if she talk with other person than i fell jealous plz give me some suggetion how can i stop loving het
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#1

Postby Candid » Sun Jul 01, 2018 6:53 am

Give it time. If you keep adoring her and she keeps dismissing you, you'll begin to hate her.

A more positive move would be to talk to her, get to know her, let her know how you feel about her, invite her somewhere.

At 28 you're no longer a "boy".
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#2

Postby santosh » Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:11 am

She know i love her we also spend time together according to her she is only freind she doesn't love me if she avoid me than i hurt so badly and if she ignor me and talk with anybudy freindly tha also i hurt badly
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#3

Postby Candid » Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:23 am

If you love her, you are grateful for her friendship and you behave like a friend in return. A friend doesn't make demands such as "Tell me you love me" or "Don't talk to anyone else". Friends are great. You can't have too many of them.

You aren't going to be able to stop 'loving' this woman while you're feeling so disempowered around her. You've been hypnotising yourself. Snap out of it and respect her choices.

Be glad to have a friend. Maybe she can introduce you to other friends she has.
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#4

Postby santosh » Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:34 am

I think every time about her I can't feel happy feeling deprees plz tell me some psychological trick to stop thinking about het
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#5

Postby Livetowin » Sun Jul 01, 2018 9:49 am

You can't truly "love" someone until you love yourself. What you have is infatuation. You're low self-esteem is wrapped in how you see her, so the notion of someone else having her (like she is a possession) threatens you to be able to retain what you think is dignity through her. None of that is love.

Whats the mental trick to get over this? The trick is to turn inward and ask yourself why you feel so inferior next to her. Look inside yourself for value and understand that just meeting someone and hitting it off on a surface level does not translate into anything more than just a basic connection.

I hate to shock you with this, but people tend to be more complex than that when you finally get to know them in a more intimate fashion. Right now you wear your best face for her, and you probably feel dazzled by most everything she talks about because you're immersed in the glow you have created around her. But one day, you got to realize she will become ordinary. What charms you today will one day be quite pedestrian.

After you've wiped away the fantasy and found the real person underneath, you likely begin to see that just having a strong emotion for someone in the beginning is not a true measure of what kind of shelf life they have with you. So take a deep breath and just see her as a person, not a possession. And realize your life is more important when you have yourself centered, rather than placing someone on a pedestal in place of your self-worth.
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#6

Postby santosh » Sun Jul 01, 2018 11:30 am

Any psychological method that help me to get over from this fantasy
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#7

Postby tokeless » Sun Jul 01, 2018 3:30 pm

santosh wrote:Any psychological method that help me to get over from this fantasy


You don't need a psychological method and there isn't one. She's made it clear you a friend and that's all. Go and meet other girls and stop idolising her. You never know, seeing you move on to someone else might make her think again. Get out and live life.. There are plenty of other women out there.
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#8

Postby santosh » Sun Jul 01, 2018 6:45 pm

I have tri forget her and i tri to make freindship with other girl but i can't forget her plz suggest how can i can ignor her
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#9

Postby tokeless » Sun Jul 01, 2018 6:56 pm

santosh wrote:I have tri forget her and i tri to make freindship with other girl but i can't forget her plz suggest how can i can ignor her


Okay.. Tell me what you've tried or done?
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#10

Postby santosh » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:19 am

I have tried to do freinship with other girl and i tried to make distance with her but i mind constantly think about her how to i avoid thinking about her
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#11

Postby Candid » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:00 am

santosh wrote:how to i avoid thinking about her


Who's in control of your mind if you aren't? If you want to stop thinking about her, stop thinking about her. She comes to mind, you boot her out. Phone a friend. Watch a movie. Exercise. Anything.

Get involved with something or someone else, preferably lots of somethings and lots of someones. You've made her the centre of your thinking, and she's sidelined you. Ouch.
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#12

Postby DrPsychFeels » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:50 am

santosh wrote:I have tried to do freinship with other girl and i tried to make distance with her but i mind constantly think about her how to i avoid thinking about her


Obsessing over someone is a symptom of a larger problem: not having a sense of self.

Let this obsession be a wake-up call that you've not developed your identity as you've grown old.

Find an interest, develop it, form relationships that are mutually beneficial, cultivate shared experiences, make more money. In short, get obsessed with your life and fine tuning your experience here in this transient life.
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