Communication

Postby majeur » Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:16 pm

Hello I am 18 years old male who is struggling with overthinking, and that is something to do with being social. I feel like I am struggling with making and keeping friends. I've noticed for example, that one of my good friends always tries to fall asleep in the bus, when we are left alone by our classmate. We just don't have anything to talk about.

Getting to know someone is also a struggle. I usually prepare myself with bunch of questions to ask for someone I know I will be forced to talk to. Like one day I knew I was going to be driving with someone, just us two in the same car and I pre-planned the whole conversation, because I suck so much at making up questions as we speak. Because of that i get anxious and end up in *being bad at being genuinely interested in other person*. It ends up in me just looking a lot at the person and observation their body language and facial expression, to find out if they like me or hate me.

Also I have to mention that often I tend to be bad at explaining myself and listening too. I try really to concentrate but I can't.

I am so frustrated over this and am getting depressed and is the reason why I am reaching out. I mean what can I do..
Am I too boring that I don't know what to talk about?
I mentioned overthinking.. what can I do?
What else?

Don't judge my ability of explaining thing by this post, because I can really think trough, when it is in text form.
majeur
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#1

Postby tokeless » Sun Jul 01, 2018 8:01 pm

Hi, sounds like a lack of confidence in yourself. Good conversation is free flowing depending on who the dialogue is with, where and what it's about. When you rehearse it it sounds awkward and clumsy because you can't predict their responses, so when they don't say what you expected there's a pause etc. Try using what around you or connects you to get conversations going.. "Looks like it might rain. That's annoying as I was going to go out tonight."...."You up to anything this week?" Or, "That was a good lesson don't you think?"
End the sentence with a question at times as it offers the other person a chance to get involved... Just practice with what's around you.. Weather, movies, holidays, there's loads to talk about.. Ask them about themselves. Who doesn't like to talk about themselves eh?
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#2

Postby DrPsychFeels » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:59 am

Sounds like you need more practice being social.

Join a club or sports team.
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