Suicidal because I'm a 37yo aging female with no value

Postby infoseeking » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:03 am

Hi guys,

I feel that my worth is tied up in how I look. I feel the pressure everywhere and have done since I was about 6 years old.

I am dreading the next few decades. The only respect or positive treatment I have received in my life has been when I look good.
I don't feel there is much left in life for me. I can go the hard slog doing for others and be altruistic, but to be honest, I can't function when there is no joy for myself. My physical body shuts down.

I would really like to see voluntary euthanasia available for anyone who wants it past a certain age (like 18 years old), not just the terminally ill. I feel that without it, we are prisoners to his life, given that suicide by painful methods is so frightening and usually prevented by the survival instinct. The survival instinct is a primitive part of our being that can run contrary to what we want for ourselves consciously through reason and in our hearts. I want this in my heart. I want to leave this place.

I feel lost every morning I wake up. I have always known this day will come and wondered how I would respond because everyone around me has said oh you will get used to the idea of aging, or other things will have more meaning by that stage in your life. But they don't. I have not had children because whilst I feel very maternal, I feel it is morally wrong to bring a new person into a dangerous world with grave environmental and social issues mounting among other reasons.

I think it is wrong to keep people in this double bind - stay alive and suffer, or suffer excruciating pain by suicide, when we have methods for peaceful quick deaths.

Not sure if anyone can relate. I just needed to put this out there.
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#1

Postby quietvoice » Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:33 am

infoseeking wrote:I am dreading the next few decades.

Perhaps what you need is a Solid Food Vacation.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:37 am

I agree with euthanasia. But I am not yet comfortable with my understanding of under what circumstances. While generally I am an avid supporter of individual choice, I am also an avid supporter of holding people responsible in making an informed decision.

In addition, I’m not yet comfortable with my understanding of when individual choice is not appropriate. First, most individuals have at least some responsibility, debt, or obligation to at least their immediate community or family. Second, for euthanasia to be administered humanely, it requires the community to participate.

Given the above two paragraphs, I lean towards euthanasia not being appropriate as an individual choice, but one that must rely on a layered approach that involves the community as a willing participant in coming to a shared decision.
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#3

Postby infoseeking » Mon Jul 02, 2018 6:00 am

Quiet Voice: Not sure what you mean. Can you elaborate?


Richard@Decision Skills: We come into the world without our consent (because it cannot be given) I believe we should at least have the sovereignty over our own existence once we are here, to go peacefully - we don't owe anything to anyone when we have not made any promises. If there is always someone else in control of whether or not we exist it is slavery and unethical. I would think there are obligations though once a person creates a new person - I think that is when they forfeit their right to leave this life as they have imposed life on a child and that child is dependent on them. It is better not to create people in the first place in my view, and in that way I am Antinatalist.
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#4

Postby infoseeking » Mon Jul 02, 2018 6:27 am

Quietvoice: I get it, vegan diet. And you are right I do better on it but I lived from a suitcase for 4 weeks and then moved into a new house recently and started eating junk with some animal products too :(
I have started back on vegan and it will likely boost my health and mood, though I don't know if it will solve the social issues.
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#5

Postby Candid » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:20 am

Exit International agrees with you, infoseeking. https://exitinternational.net/about-exi ... hilosophy/

infoseeking wrote:I feel that my worth is tied up in how I look.


How you look is tied up with how you feel. Sparkle and enthusiasm win out over boring beauty every time.

I defend your right to bail out, but I'd try the dietary option first.
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#6

Postby infoseeking » Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:33 am

Candid: Thank you Candid for that Link... I am definitely on board with Exit's Vision, Mission, and Values.

Thank you for the short sweet response re. looks too, it is true of course.

I will try the diet as my first option.
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#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:55 pm

infoseeking wrote: We come into the world without our consent (because it cannot be given) I believe we should at least have the sovereignty over our own existence once we are here, to go peacefully -


I understand the appeal of the consent argument, but I think it fails by definition. Consent is something that can only be given or removed between individuals. In other words, there is no consent to being struck by lightning. That is an act of nature.

One individual gives consent to another individual to commit an act of nature together, i.e. sex. There is no 3rd individual involved. The 3rd individual doesn't exist. There are not millions if not billions of potential sperm/egg combinations all with their individual right to veto the consensual act between two individuals, pre-existence.

Boom! You exist! The sperm/egg connect and for purposes of discussion you now have a vote. Or do you? Another well established requirement for consent is being of sound mind. Infants and the elderly are considered incapable of informed consent. We try to protect vulnerable populations, which goes back to my original post and the need for the community to be involved. Even in your original post you discuss the need to be at least 18, and in your most recent post discuss removing the ability if an individual has a child. You say the child needs protection. This would also then apply to the very moment you were conceived.

Taken together, that (1) sex is an act of nature and (2) you needed protection the moment you were conceived, it removes the "I didn't consent" argument.

we don't owe anything to anyone when we have not made any promises. If there is always someone else in control of whether or not we exist it is slavery and unethical.


Raising a child...and it sounds like you would agree given you think they should be protected, is not slavery or unethical. If we use your 18 year guideline, parents invest thousands of hours in their child. They bath, feed, shelter, care for, educate and provide love. The parents are owed nothing?

There are explicit and implicit promises. Most parents don't feel the need to explicitly state, "We have cared for you for 18 years, now when we are elderly it will be your role to care for us." It is an implied contract. In theory, love is suppose to work both directions.

I disagree that it is so clear cut that we don't owe anything to anyone. And I'm a big fan of individual sovereignty. I agree in having the right to not provide for our parents, not to provide for our community. I agree that we own our labor as individuals, but where I struggle is in the moral line of to what extent we have at least some duty to use our labor to reciprocate and use our labor responsibly. I think with sovereignty there comes a certain degree of responsibility.

I think this is why I believe something like euthanasia is not just a personal choice.
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#8

Postby quietvoice » Tue Jul 03, 2018 4:15 am

infoseeking wrote:I get it, vegan diet.

RAW vegan !! The key is going RAW, fresh, picked-ripe, properly-grown Fruits and Berries and Melons, ( and some vegetables ), and Fresh-made raw Juices, and botanicals (herbs) as desired or needed. Living foods for Living Beings!

quietvoice wrote:Perhaps what you need is a Solid Food Vacation.

See also Robert Morse ND.
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#9

Postby quietvoice » Tue Jul 03, 2018 4:36 am

infoseeking wrote:I feel that my worth is tied up in how I look.

Did I forget to say that if you make the aforementioned lifestyle your own, that you'll start looking better than ever?

Don't forget to thrown in a good attitude, though that part should be easy when you start feeling better. And you must know that people look better when they smile a lot!
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#10

Postby DrPsychFeels » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:40 am

Generally, the most stressful time for a female is mid to late 30s. No one talks about this and I'm not sure why. It's the equivalent of late adolescence for males.

infoseeking, I'm guessing what you need is true connection with other humans. Not to be altruistic, but to seek shared experiences. From this the dread dissipates and it becomes easier to see opportunities and work for them.
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