6 months in

#15

Postby dirtySanchez » Sun Sep 30, 2018 7:04 am

9 months.

1/2 of this month was just depression.

Don't know why but for the last couple of weeks my mind started playing tricks on me to smoke cigarettes.. in terms "it would be so nice if you could relax now".

The one thing that is getting better is my ability to think and focus.

Nothing more to add. I think it is still a long road ahead of me.

Take care guys.
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#16

Postby dirtySanchez » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:34 pm

Caffeine = a big NO NO

I stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks around 2 or 3 months ago since it gave an massive anxiety.

For the last 3 days I drank one red bull per day since I was feeling a little better and there was no paws around. It was nice to have a little kick, especially in the gym. After the first day of my redbull journey I felt really terrible - thoughts all over the place, angry, low energy,... And my mind was like - you need another one to get myself back in the good mood. And same thing happened the next day too.. Addictive behavior right here.

It really sucks to know that I will never be able to enjoy coffeine. But hey, life goes on.

Take care guys.
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#17

Postby AngryDwarf » Sun Oct 07, 2018 10:04 pm

dirtySanchez wrote:Caffeine = a big NO NO

I stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks around 2 or 3 months ago since it gave an massive anxiety.

For the last 3 days I drank one red bull per day since I was feeling a little better and there was no paws around. It was nice to have a little kick, especially in the gym. After the first day of my redbull journey I felt really terrible - thoughts all over the place, angry, low energy,... And my mind was like - you need another one to get myself back in the good mood. And same thing happened the next day too.. Addictive behavior right here.

It really sucks to know that I will never be able to enjoy coffeine. But hey, life goes on.

Take care guys.

What makes you think you'll never be able to enjoy caffeine again? At least to me it seems that the longer I go, the less brutal after effects I get from it.

Coincidentally, I caved in and bought two red bulls today too. On the plus side, many hours worth of things are getting done, but the following 2-3 days are probably going to suck. I fully agree about the addictiveness of it. The craving during the day after ingesting caffeine seems very similar to the craving of weed the day after smoking in terms of intensity of the craving. It would be nothing if your mental state was at baseline, but in that sluggish state of mind, buying another red bull seems almost rational and reasonable, ha, you probably know what I mean.
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#18

Postby dirtySanchez » Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:12 am

@angrydwarf

The 'high" I get from drinking coffeine can't compare to the "low" that comes after. It's just not worth it for me anymore. I don't know what changed in my brain and why it started affecting me in this way, I really loved redbulls :cry:

But guess it's best for me to be in that neutral state, without any stimulants.
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#19

Postby Cthompson21 » Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:16 pm

Caffeine is awful for me too. I don't know if I can ever have it again either. I think it slows recovery so anyone who is in the midst of PAWS should stay away from all mood altering substances including mild ones like Caffeine. The brain is healing and like someone said in another post it's like running on a sprained ankle when you add stimulants. I really miss it too though it's annoying not being able to drink something to get a little jolt but that's life.
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#20

Postby desperate788 » Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:43 pm

Cthompson21 wrote:Caffeine is awful for me too. I don't know if I can ever have it again either. I think it slows recovery so anyone who is in the midst of PAWS should stay away from all mood altering substances including mild ones like Caffeine. The brain is healing and like someone said in another post it's like running on a sprained ankle when you add stimulants. I really miss it too though it's annoying not being able to drink something to get a little jolt but that's life.

Cola zero? :D
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