6 months in

**Posts:** 33 · by **dirtySanchez** » Sun Sep 30, 2018 7:04 am

9 months.

1/2 of this month was just depression.

Don't know why but for the last couple of weeks my mind started playing tricks on me to smoke cigarettes.. in terms "it would be so nice if you could relax now".

The one thing that is getting better is my ability to think and focus.

Nothing more to add. I think it is still a long road ahead of me.

Take care guys.

**Posts:** 33 · by **dirtySanchez** » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:34 pm

Caffeine = a big NO NO

I stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks around 2 or 3 months ago since it gave an massive anxiety.

For the last 3 days I drank one red bull per day since I was feeling a little better and there was no paws around. It was nice to have a little kick, especially in the gym. After the first day of my redbull journey I felt really terrible - thoughts all over the place, angry, low energy,... And my mind was like - you need another one to get myself back in the good mood. And same thing happened the next day too.. Addictive behavior right here.

It really sucks to know that I will never be able to enjoy coffeine. But hey, life goes on.

Take care guys.

**Posts:** 23 · by **AngryDwarf** » Sun Oct 07, 2018 10:04 pm

dirtySanchez wrote:Caffeine = a big NO NO

I stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks around 2 or 3 months ago since it gave an massive anxiety.

For the last 3 days I drank one red bull per day since I was feeling a little better and there was no paws around. It was nice to have a little kick, especially in the gym. After the first day of my redbull journey I felt really terrible - thoughts all over the place, angry, low energy,... And my mind was like - you need another one to get myself back in the good mood. And same thing happened the next day too.. Addictive behavior right here.

It really sucks to know that I will never be able to enjoy coffeine. But hey, life goes on.

Take care guys.

What makes you think you'll never be able to enjoy caffeine again? At least to me it seems that the longer I go, the less brutal after effects I get from it.

Coincidentally, I caved in and bought two red bulls today too. On the plus side, many hours worth of things are getting done, but the following 2-3 days are probably going to suck. I fully agree about the addictiveness of it. The craving during the day after ingesting caffeine seems very similar to the craving of weed the day after smoking in terms of intensity of the craving. It would be nothing if your mental state was at baseline, but in that sluggish state of mind, buying another red bull seems almost rational and reasonable, ha, you probably know what I mean.

**Posts:** 33 · by **dirtySanchez** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:12 am

@angrydwarf

The 'high" I get from drinking coffeine can't compare to the "low" that comes after. It's just not worth it for me anymore. I don't know what changed in my brain and why it started affecting me in this way, I really loved redbulls :cry:

But guess it's best for me to be in that neutral state, without any stimulants.

**Posts:** 117 · by **Cthompson21** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:16 pm

Caffeine is awful for me too. I don't know if I can ever have it again either. I think it slows recovery so anyone who is in the midst of PAWS should stay away from all mood altering substances including mild ones like Caffeine. The brain is healing and like someone said in another post it's like running on a sprained ankle when you add stimulants. I really miss it too though it's annoying not being able to drink something to get a little jolt but that's life.

**Posts:** 39560 · by **desperate788** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:43 pm

Cthompson21 wrote:Caffeine is awful for me too. I don't know if I can ever have it again either. I think it slows recovery so anyone who is in the midst of PAWS should stay away from all mood altering substances including mild ones like Caffeine. The brain is healing and like someone said in another post it's like running on a sprained ankle when you add stimulants. I really miss it too though it's annoying not being able to drink something to get a little jolt but that's life.

Cola zero?

**Posts:** 33 · by **dirtySanchez** » Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:21 pm

Hey guys.

I can't even remember when was the last time I visited this place. Not because I hate it or something, but I I officially can say I have overcome PAWS after almost 12 months battle.

In the past two months, I have seen major improvements. My mind has never been shaper. I can function all day. I can drink caffeine without any consequences. I am not depressed anymore. I can focus on work - like never before.

I still have a bad day here and there - I think that PAWS are trying to holla at me

I really can't believe what have I gone through and it was HELL. REALLY.

The most important factor for me was FAITH that things will get better and if it wasn't for an Uncommon forum I really don't know if I would make it. I was reading other peoples journeys for 24/7 for around 6 months. The place I was in was really dark, but at the end, the light always shines through.

Take care guys. I really have so much respect for this forum. I owe my life to it

I love you all and god bless you.

**Posts:** 23 · by **AngryDwarf** » Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:01 pm

Glad to hear that! Wish you the best with the rest of your life.

**Posts:** 77 · by **Astro413** » Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:32 pm

Congrats man I’m happy for you! That is so good to hear that another one got out of the woods. Stick around and check in every now and then and give some support to those still in the thick of it!

**Posts:** 44 · by **Freedomhfx** » Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:09 am

That’s is such wonderful news! What a battle and you did it!! Keep up the good work. You are inspirational and thank you so much for checking in and sharing the very best kind of update.

**Posts:** 117 · by **Cthompson21** » Wed Nov 21, 2018 12:01 pm

I'm so happy for you! And just to see at your nine months post you thought you still had a very long road and now you're way better - that gives me so much hope. You're an inspiration, Sanchez. Good luck with your life and congratulations on beating PAWS.

**Posts:** 38 · by **leavepawsbehind** » Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:50 am

I'm really glad that you are doing better now! Cheers!

**Posts:** 115 · by **BullFrog** » Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:43 pm

@dirtysanchez,

It warms my heart and makes me a little teary eyed from happiness to hear you are doing so well! Thank you for your post. And, if you remember us in a few months, post again with another update.

**Posts:** 33 · by **dirtySanchez** » Sun Dec 02, 2018 6:13 pm

Thanks everyone. I hope and pray that all of you are doing great.

Quick update and a reminder to others.

Week ago I thought it would be a great idea to drink a small bottle of vine with my girlfriend... but it was not a good idea really

PAWS came back and they lasted through the whole week! They were not so intense comparing to the beginning of the journey (1-5 months), but they really slowed my mind and thinking to 10%, mood overall was really low, chest pressure and "little" panic attacks occurred ...

Maybe its just coincidence but I am pretty sure its related to alcohol.

Lesson learned.

STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL :!:

**Posts:** 23 · by **AngryDwarf** » Mon Dec 03, 2018 3:41 pm

dirtySanchez wrote:Thanks everyone. I hope and pray that all of you are doing great.

Quick update and a reminder to others.

Week ago I thought it would be a great idea to drink a small bottle of vine with my girlfriend... but it was not a good idea really

PAWS came back and they lasted through the whole week! They were not so intense comparing to the beginning of the journey (1-5 months), but they really slowed my mind and thinking to 10%, mood overall was really low, chest pressure and "little" panic attacks occurred ...

Maybe its just coincidence but I am pretty sure its related to alcohol.

Lesson learned.

STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL

It seems that we make the same mistakes at the same time, ha. Last time it was caffeine, now it was alcohol. I started by drinking a few beers a week ago. Since it didn't cause any negative effects, I did it again two days later, only this time I drank double the amount. Very depressed, anxious, brain fog for the next few days.

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