Mayfair wrote: I convinced someone to commit. I have urges to do it again I got great joy out of it. IMO convincing someone to take their own life is the perfect murder. Don't worry about what other people say, do what you feel is best. Just accept the consequences if they happen with a clean conscience.
Oh, Jason.
Divine Love. That's what you need. Find yourself a good spiritual counselor.
Your thinking habits and your (unconscious) thoughts about past hurts are covering up the Divine Love that is within you and within each one of us. Until you find this Love within yourself, you will be suffering. It's the same for every human being, to varying degrees, which means you've got plenty of company; you are not alone. You are not alone, neither in this predicament of suffering, nor in the very real sense of the deep down Love that is You—it is always there.
I know that you don't care what I say, think, or do. And that's okay with me. I'm not fighting you. I'm loving you.
Blessings.