Daughters of an Angry Mom

Postby april20ABS » Wed Jul 18, 2018 8:34 am

My sister and I are in our 40s, both single. Three years ago, my father took his own life by hanging due to constant fights with my mother. I strongly believe that my mom pushed my father to his death from nagging him everyday, torturing him mentally by asking him to leave the house without any money then asking him to return home few days after (which was a cycle). She does not let him sleep and neither did she, they were fighting every single day. Once, we bought my father dinner, my mom took it away from him and my father did not say a word. She mentally and physically abused my father if she starts to get really angry. She would also ask me or my sister to kill my father for her.

The day my father died, she hid the truth from our relatives and told everyone my father died of cardiac arrest due to drug overdose. Since, then she became a very angry, abusive and violent woman that we would constantly fight with her. She would also fight with our neighbors and practically almost anyone we knew around the neighborhood. She gets angry with everything, even the smallest detail. I feel that she might be feeling guilty over my father's death. She got mad at me once, twice and humiliated me in public and yelling that I should be the one to kill my father.

My sister and I can no longer take her abusive behavior and we are afraid that she might hurt someone or someone might hurt her due to her aggressive behavior. I've released a lot of bad words to her because I can no longer take the negativity, abuse, and violence she displays every time. We asked help from a psychiatrist because we don't know where else to go, and the doctor shut us down. She said that we have internal problems that we need to fix, my mother is not a psychopath. She threatens to destroy my reputation at work so I can be fired.

She did not ask me or my sister how we were doing the day my father committed suicide. She did not check up on us if we have emotional trauma. She was always fixated with herself, that she was the victim and not my father. She blames us for the death of my father, she blames us for having a miserable life, she blames us for her misfortune and illness. She said she wished she has not marry given birth to us. I donated my kidney to her when she had her transplant, which she was ungrateful for. She said that it was my obligation to keep her alive.

The only thing that keeps me and my sister strong is our faith in God. Every single day we pray for her mind and body healing. We don't have anyone to talk to about it and since this issue is within our family, I prefer not to share it with anyone.

Please help! Do we need to get her another psychiatrist? Does she have narcissistic personality disorder?
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Postby quietvoice » Wed Jul 18, 2018 11:59 am

I donated my kidney to her

Please visit this YouTube channel—Robert Morse ND. By giving up your kidney, you have compromised your own health tremendously. The allopathic doctors are clueless about this, that is, that the kidneys are part of the system that removes cellular wastes from your body, which is of the utmost importance to stay free of all the health issues I'm sure that you see around you, if not having any yourself. You will have to be extra diligent about keeping your body clean on the inside.

april20ABS wrote:My sister and I can no longer take her abusive behavior

You're of legal age. You have freedom to not be in contact with this personality. Why do you subject yourself to her abuse, is my question.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:10 pm

You may not realize it, but you are doing the exact same thing you accuse your mother of doing.

Stop blaming and trying to control your mother. Given how awful you believe your mother, end the relationship. Leave. Walk away. You are 40 years old. You can control what you do, including the relationships you keep.
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Postby Leo Volont » Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:50 pm

Hi April,

I honestly don't think your Mother believes that she has a problem that can be fixed by a shrink this late in her life, and she is probably right. But yes, a psychiatrist could put her on meds to take the edge off her hostile behavior. but if she is not really a danger to anybody (I don't expect anybody new would marry her) then I think Richard is right about 'walking away', before she talks you into hanging yourself.
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Postby april20ABS » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:46 am

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I am thinking about moving away with my sister and start a new life. Please pray for us that we remain strong.
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Postby Prycejosh1987 » Sat Dec 12, 2020 4:07 pm

Prayer is good, but you also need to take decisive action. You must encourage your mother to come to church with you, keep inviting her, and you also should let her see the error of her ways, maybe she doesnt realise the damage she has done.
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