Am i a pedophile and incest HELP ME

Postby Dokkaebi » Sun Jul 22, 2018 7:51 am

Let me start by saying that i am a 18 years old hetero male and i am suffering from these thoughts since 2 years . It all started with me faceplanting to my moms breast get a split second turn on . I felt disgusted by myself , wanted to die , thought that i don't deserve to live or even go to heaven . I thought i belong to hell . I always tried to check if i get turned on by thinking sexual thing about my mom and i felt disgusted by myself more and more . But i've left it behind when my doctor said that it's normal to get turned on because i faceplanted to a womens breast and my body reacted to it . Then after suffering these i started thinking that i am a pedophile . It all started with me getting sexual thoughts by a child anime character whos name is kanna kamui . She has very thick tihghs and wears thigh high socks . Let me say that have a kink about thigh high socks . It all happened again . Disgusting myself , thinking i belong to hell , and not wanting to live . I always checked her pictures to see if i get turned on or not . Which i didn't . My doctor said that i am not a pedophile aswell and suffering from POCD . So with that i always said YOU'RE NOT A PEDOPHILE to myself . I didn't get any intrusive thoughts about having a sex with children so that helped me aswell . And yesterday i've gone to my doctor saying that i am not taking medications anymore and i was feeling great . He did some tests on me and i've passed all of them . I was happy , better than before . But that day i said okay i am gonna look at the pictures of that child anime girl and think having sex with my mom to see if i get turned on or not if i don't then i'll be happy forever . You know what happened ? Split second turn on both of them . Now i want to die again . I don't want to accept that i am a pedophile nor incest . Now i check pictures of that girl and think sexual things about my mom to see if i get turned on but i don't . But why did i felt that split second turn on ? Was it because i was scared that i'll get it ? I am not seeing myself having sex with my mom even if it's possible . I am not seeing myself having sex with children even if it was ok and legal . I don't fantasize about children nor my mom . I don't get turned on
by looking at a children . I can say that they look good , their legs look good . But not in a sexually aroused way . I just ask myself that if their legs look good or do they look good and say yes or no . I don't fantasize about their face or get romantically aroused by their face .
Am ı a pedohile and incest or is it POCD please help me ...
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Postby Candid » Sun Jul 22, 2018 9:34 am

Dokkaebi wrote:Now i check pictures of that girl and think sexual things about my mom to see if i get turned on but i don't . But why did i felt that split second turn on ? Was it because i was scared that i'll get it ? I am not seeing myself having sex with my mom even if it's possible . I am not seeing myself having sex with children even if it was ok and legal . I don't fantasize about children nor my mom . I don't get turned on by looking at a children.


This is all negative, all about bad stuff that doesn't happen while you're scared it will. If you keep asking yourself whether you're incestuous or a paedophile, you'll keep feeling the need to check that you aren't. Intrusive thoughts are a form of OCD that's made a massive upsurge in recent years.

Your doctor sounds like a good, reasonable man. He's told you your feelings are normal. Your worrying isn't, but it isn't unique to you, either. We've had a number of people here who were worried they were gay and wanted reassurance that they weren't. Now I suppose you'll start thinking about that, too!

So... you're having trouble with a negative self-image. You think of bad things and worry they might be part of you, so you look for evidence of them. It's a self-defeating feedback loop and there's an obvious way to turn it on its head.

Think about people you admire, famous or ordinary, living or dead. Make a list of the things you like about them. These are aspects of you, either fully developed or on your wish list.

Then look for evidence of these qualities in yourself. For instance, if popularity is on your list, collect evidence that you're likeable. Someone smiled at you, someone suggested getting together, someone said thank you, someone agreed with something you said, whatever.

Then come back here and tell us what's good about you. Write as much as you can. I'm clever, I'm thoughtful, people like me, I get things done, I know what to do to make myself feel better, I'm healthy, I'm trustworthy, I'm talented, I have a lot to offer, I'm happy and enthusiastic, I'm grateful for... You get the idea.

The only way to stop worrying about what might or might not be wrong with you is to shift your focus to what's right about you. Keep your lists and your evidence and look over them as often as you like, adding to them whenever you can.

When you have a positive self-image it will be safe for you to think about finding a girlfriend. Look for someone who's good company, someone you can talk to and who has similar interests. Don't say anything bad about yourself, EVER. There'll always be people to do that for you, and you're best off ignoring them.
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