Symptoms or Attitude: Causes of irrational irritability

Postby Wordsmith » Sun Jul 29, 2018 9:10 pm


I am at my wits end. I don't where else to turn. I need to understand if what I'm seeing in my wife's behavior is simply senior citizen irritability or symptoms of something else. She almost sees me as adversary. At the least infraction, ranging from an imagined inflection in my voice to forgetting to do something, she explodes. She does it around other people now too. She is paranoid about me invading her space and what I mean when I say something. Admittedly, I have lost my temper finally and yelled back in reaction, but it is turned around at me and suddenly I am the villain. I might spend the whole day trying to please her until something incredibly stupid will set her off and I'm in the dog house again. I'm too old for this. I was almost convinced it was my fault when I looked into her face and realized she was out of control. Is this simply a marital problem after 53 years of marriage or could it be possible that my wife has dementia or a psychological disorder?

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Postby Fellow Traveler » Mon Jul 30, 2018 4:49 am

Hello Wordsmith

First off, you don't deserve and shouldn't have to go through what you're experiencing with your wife and I imagine you haven't left yet because you love her deeply. I think for one you should try a one on one intervention. In a calm but serious manner have a dialogue with her and bring up her behavior and let her know in the beginning of this attempt that you love her and care about her very much. Then ask her about her negative behavior of late and what's bringing it on. Let her know you are hurt by it and you want to know why she's behaving this way. Observe her reaction carefully, does she slowly seem to breakdown as if having a difficult time trying to tell you something, become angry or seem confused. Her reactions to this intervention may give you a clue as to whats going on. It may be a mental issue that requires professional help or a new perspective she's formed that makes her think its ok to behave in this antisocial way.

Once you find out you can better decide a course of action most assuredly. I think its a medical issue.
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