Finally Waking up Day 1

Postby W0ke » Tue Jul 31, 2018 10:18 am

So, here I am!

This is going to be my fiftymillionth time at trying to give up weed. I start a new job next Monday and I want to have a real fresh start. I am currently 29 years old, unemployed (for now) and living at home with my parents rent-free. I've borrowed nearly £1,600 from them while I haven't had a job and I'm so sick of myself.

I'm going to list my reasons for quitting below, mainly so that I can come back on here and look at them but also so that I have accountability.

*Isolated I am completely isolated from everyone at the moment. I avoid my family and the few people I have in my life when I am high and I have no friends because I am so socially anxious after smoking and feel so bad about the way I look. Which leads me to...

*Overweight I have spent my whole life overweight or worrying about my weight. My go to is to get high and then binge eat like crazy when I am feeling down.

*Skint! Instead of actually sitting down and figuring out a budget to stick to, I just buy as much weed as I need and then struggle financially - but then I just get stoned and forget about it...

*Mental Health I have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 and although I agree that my moods can be sporadic, am I actually bipolar, or am I just a pothead?

*Lazy Smoking weed makes me so lazy! or too socially anxious to go anywhere. I never go for that run, or attend my skating training or go to bonfire society meetings when I am high.

So, that the list. I'm going to save a copy to my phone and whenever I want to smoke I am going to read it. I also just feel like my personality is lost and I want to know who I am again. I'm 30 this year! I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. I want friends! fun! happiness!

Please feel free to reply with any advice/thoughts you would like to offer. I'd be really pleased to hear from someone who is in the same boat right now.
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Postby cleanofgreen » Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:06 pm

Well done on taking the plunge and congratulations on taking the time to list out your whys for quiting. It's very important to know your reasons for quiting so you can review them when times get tough.

Think of replacing your cannabis habit with something more healthy like exercise as its always easier to quit a bad habit by taking up a good one and as a plus it will help with the anxiety and the self esteem.

Good Luck and stay strong.
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Postby W0ke » Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:11 pm

Thak you for your response, cleanofgreen. I've been thinking about taking my training for roller derby seriously again as I think it would be a good hobby to get back into and it would definitely keep me occupied!
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