Quitting long term weed am I going crazy

Postby Markdaniel » Fri Aug 10, 2018 6:54 am

I've been smoking for 22 years and it has been my life. I only just got it together in the last five years job, girlfriend , a place but now I'm in danger of loosing it all. I quit pot it's been 3 months but could have been 6 but relapses. It feels like a nightmare I can't sleep properly, feel a feeling of doom, anxious, suicidal, depression, unable to function etc etc. I feel like I have permanently destroyed myself. I'm fighting but work is just too stressful when I'm in my head feeling dread and craziness. I just want other people opinions I feel it's impossible to carry on with my head like this. Will it get better or am I destined to be in the loony bin. I never thought in my wildest dreams weed could do this and thought when the time is right I could quit easily how wrong I was.
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#1

Postby Astro413 » Fri Aug 10, 2018 2:28 pm

I know exactly what you mean. You’re always in your head, you feel like your thoughts aren’t even your own. For me personally my mood took a total 360 going from a happy go lucky dude to a pessimistic guy not interested in anything with no motivation (all of which was never the case before). If you’ve read around this forum you know that everyone else here either is or has been in the same situation as the two of us but I understand that you may feel the need to be reassured as I have plenty of times. Personally I only smoked daily for about two years and being a few days shy of 2 months I’m feeling better, not good, but better. Still locked in my mind, low moods, and can’t really interact with anything like I used too (I don’t feel like myself) but I have seen improvements in my sleep, as in I’m getting more hours but it’s still not good sleep, and although my motivation still lacks and I can’t seem to imagine my future I am getting out and doing more instead of spending all day cooped up reading this forum. My advice would be to just keep your mind focused, play video games, hang out with friends or your family, read a book or this forum. In fact don’t be ashamed to read this forum there have been days even up to where I am now that I can’t seem to get off this forum because the ones that found success are the only ones that seem to put a positive light in my head. Sorry for the long post but the point is to stick with it, it really is a long slow process even though everybody is different. You will not notice changes as they happen but you will wake up in a week or two and think “hey this *insert symptom here* has gotten a little better” and so on. It could take a few weeks and it could take a few years but you won’t know until you get through it. I haven’t posted my story here other than a post or two just looking for a little motivation simply because I’ve been to messed up in the head, but what motivates me the most is the fact that when this is all said and done others have mentioned they came out of this as a better person than they originally were with a better outlook and appreciation of life and that sounds like enough to see this through. Be tough and stick with it, your brain will do just about anything it can to get you to smoke again. Don’t feed it.
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#2

Postby Markdaniel » Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:10 pm

Do u take anything for sleep I got three hours last night now going to work absolute nightmare can't do it for much longer
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#3

Postby Anewchapter » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:31 am

I found valerian root tea helped me sleep (the pure raw cut up root). It doesn’t work for everyone but it’s worth ago. There has been studies done on it that has proven it to help aid sleep.
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#4

Postby Markdaniel » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:42 am

Thanks for advice I feel like if I don't get my sh** together I will loose everything. I wake in morning full of dread since quitting cannabis it's been the toughest hellish time of my life and suicidal thoughts are present. I am trying to get through paws and work but don't know how long I can do this please tell me this is not how my life will be after cannabis abuse
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#5

Postby Anewchapter » Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:14 am

It will get better, it will just take time. I smoked weed for around 23 years and when I stopped I thought I was losing my mind too. I think the strength of the weed now has something to do with how bad some of us experience withdrawals. You’ve just got to carry on doing what you’re doing, take each day as it comes, eat healthy and exercise. It’s important to eat a good diet, what we eat plays a big part in our mental wellbeing; adapting a healthier lifestyle helped me a lot. If I eat any junk food now I can feel how it negatively inpacts my state of mind.
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#6

Postby Markdaniel » Sat Aug 11, 2018 11:43 am

Mate how long did it take u to recover did u have a feeling of dread, what sort of symptoms did u have and did ur sleep suffer over many months ?
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#7

Postby potsleep » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:07 pm

I’m coming up to 9 months clean and insomnia has been my biggest issue I’ve seen improvement but I still suffering. It comes in waves. I’ll usually not sleep for a few days then it just goes away.
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#8

Postby Markdaniel » Sat Aug 11, 2018 9:29 pm

So I'm feeling like I won't be able to continue working due to my poor mental health. I get slight waves of anxiety and worry that am ruined for good. I Used to love work now it is an effort to even go. I think.bout weed a lot as I never had these problems sleeping and functioning just bombed myself with weed then woke up happy to go to work. I feel like I will end up in mental ward due to my severe depression and anxiety scares the carp out of me. 22 years smoking on the bong feel so annoyed at myself. I've destroyed my mental health I only hope with time I will calm down a bit and continue to.survive in my job and life. Very scared and confused and feel little happiness.
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#9

Postby cleanofgreen » Mon Aug 13, 2018 9:53 am

Hey Markdaniel,

I spent 24 years smoking my life away and know where your coming from. I'm now almost 2 years weed free and everything is so much better. I still get some funk days every now and then (haven't has one for over 6 months) but I think every body gets these off days and we just have to learn to cope with out hitting a substance for relief.

At 10 weeks free of weed I was in a living hell as you are now and thought I couldn't take it anymore and quit my job. That was the only regret I have from quitting weed. It was the worst thing I could have done. As hard a it might seem, you need the stability that a job brings to your life right now. Try stick with the job as best you can. At 3 months your in the worst of it, and if you can just stick it out for a few more months you will start to see land on the horizon. I started to see noticeable improvements at 6 months where the anxiety reduced so much I could function as normal with it in the background and at 9 months I was pretty much back to normal. You can read my thread if you want to find out all the gory detail, its a long read.

Try talking to some one you can trust about how you feel, or if you haven't got somebody to talk near by keep posting on this forum and try helping others starting on their quit journey, it helps. Exercise is also a must in remaining sane at this point in the quit, get the hart pounding and sweat your butt off, you'll be amazed at how it changes the mind even if just for a little while.

Changing a 20 + year daily habit takes a huge effort and a long time, it won't happen overnight or in a few weeks, but it will probably be the best thing you ever do for yourself, and the most precious gift you can give to your family and friends, let the true you shine through.

I wish you all the best.
Good Luck and Stay Strong.
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#10

Postby Markdaniel » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:04 am

Thanks atm I have severe depression I'm also on ad,s and have been for 7 years and worry that there doing nothing and paranoid they making me ill now is the withdrawing from weed this severe depression very concerned am not happy and stuck in my head badly it keeps ruminating over and over
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#11

Postby Markdaniel » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:48 am

Clean of green I was wondering if we could chat on fb my name on there is bluey Brown and I'm from forster
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#12

Postby laureat » Thu Aug 16, 2018 9:55 am

instead of "quiting" smoking you can simply reduce the amount until there is no more
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#13

Postby cleanofgreen » Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:29 pm

Hi Mark,

I want to remain anonymous as most people didn't know I was a stoner for 20 + years. So no facebook for me. Ask any questions here in your thread and I will answer as best I can. That way you will be helping the people coming along after you starting their quit journey. You would be surprised at how many people read these forums and get helped by the stories of other quitters and never make and account or post a message. Why not help others while trying to help yourself.

Hope your feeling a little better.
Good luck and stay strong.
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#14

Postby Cali-Detroit » Fri Aug 17, 2018 3:18 am

Hey Mark, welcome to the forum.

Your story is a common one and I can relate entirely. 22 years for me as well, with a few 6 month clean stints about 3 years ago.

Currently at 4 months and change, an as COG said, it's a rough patch. I honestly felt better a month ago. Just realize youre going to pay penance on this for awhile. You will suffer and it's going to be bad. I can't tell you the thoughts I've been having lately, but they are at the very edges of what one might call sanity. Or way beyond, I honestly can't tell anymore.

The good news is there are real people here who have lived this and are m onths or years of where we're at now, and the consensus is the same. Not one person has come here a few years clean talking about what a negative impact sobriety has had on their lives, and what a mistake it was to ever quit smoking.

It's the most seductive of all the drugs I believe, and it slips deep into your mind by way of it's beningn appearance. By the time you realize what's going on, it's almost too late. Almost, but not quite.

The level of faith you have to have to push through this astounds me daily. It's almost religious the way I absorb these people's success stories, except unlike the Bible, it's likely their stories have actually happened. So even better.

I'm sure you know people who are like us, but will NEVER be free of it, we all do. I'm even related to a couple, sadly. This journey started as a soldarity effort for one of them. They lasted 2 weeks, and have been power smoking their way right through life the past 4 months...and guess what's changed? The date. And nothing else.

Hey if after a couple years it's still sh**, I'm pretty sure good bud will still be available. But I'm thinking that this could be a key to something greater. I'm not positive, but I'm hopeful. Only one way to find out...

Take care and stay strong...pain is your friend
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