Quitting long term weed am I going crazy

#15

Postby Markdaniel » Fri Aug 17, 2018 9:44 am

Right now i have suicidal thoughts , there is no happiness I worry I'm fcked for good I've nearly given up. My mind is so dull but tells me I'm so stuffed and my anxiety bout continuing work is increasing. I don't think I can do it much more working and ready to get treatment cause I fear I will end it. I worry I'm not like the others on here and my mental health is severe. I still have this tightness in my head been like this for three months. I don't want to go into hospital but I'm worried bout this medication I'm on also antidepressant that's doing nothing and have been on the whole time I've been on the weed. Now the weed is gone it not helping one bit I'm annoyed with Dr's and feel little hope atm. Is it all the weed I wonder to myself or are these antidepressants affecting my head too. Been the most miserable three months of my existence pure nightmare and I'm wanting to escape any ideas input would be appreciated.
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#16

Postby cleanofgreen » Fri Aug 17, 2018 11:31 am

Hi Mark,

I feel for you right now as I now how bad it gets at this stage. I wasn't on any medication before , during or after my quit so I can't say what effect it will have. I had some suicidal thoughts without making plans and said to myself if it came to that I would seek help straight away, If your making plans then you need to seek medical help right away.

The only thing that got me through was healthy eating and exercising till I almost dropped. Your brain is missing it's thc hit and has put you in fight or flight mode at the moment. It's waiting for a response from your body which it won't get if your sitting on the couch worrying. The brain expects to see your heart pumping and your muscles working and when you are exercising to your max you can't worry or be depressed at the same time. After you finish exercising you get a dopamine hit from what is called the runners high and this will tide you over for a while. It won't last for more than a few hours or so but it will be welcome relief. I don't know your level of fitness but if your unfit you could start with something like Shaun T's Focus T25. It's 25 min a day and you can do it at home. And if that's too easy for you then try his insanity workout program.

Some tips to get you through. The exercise is a must in my opinion.
Take omega 3, vitamin b complex
Eat a healthy diet with good amount of protein.
Exercise every day, something that makes you sweat. This one is a must and will make a huge difference
If your really up for it take a cold shower after your exercise, great for the mind. Look up Wim Hoff Method.
Try some simple breathing meditations.
Take up an old hobby or start a new one.
Read some good books
Try to keep active by always having some thing to do, paint a room, re-decorate the whole house, dig a garden bed etc. Just do anything to keep busy. I know its hard to motivate your self to get started but just break it down into small tasks. .e.g I'm just going to clean this section of the garage.
Keep posting on here

Good Luck and stay strong.
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#17

Postby Markdaniel » Fri Aug 17, 2018 12:27 pm

I also need sleeping tablets to sleep I can only hope the misery gets better
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#18

Postby Markdaniel » Fri Aug 17, 2018 11:40 pm

The last three days have been hell my head is consuming me with negative thoughts I don't think I can function or work anymore. I think of ending this nightmare but can't. I need to find some inner strength as I don't want to go away for help I'm recovery. Am I one of the ones that don't cope from years of marijuana abuse I hear so many success stories but I'm far from success. It all feels like a bad dream I can barely function like I'm a baby needing guidance and care. This is fcked up
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#19

Postby George from UK » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:16 am

Markdaniel wrote:The last three days have been hell my head is consuming me with negative thoughts I don't think I can function or work anymore. I think of ending this nightmare but can't. I need to find some inner strength as I don't want to go away for help I'm recovery. Am I one of the ones that don't cope from years of marijuana abuse I hear so many success stories but I'm far from success. It all feels like a bad dream I can barely function like I'm a baby needing guidance and care. This is fcked up



Hi mate.

Ok, ok. So the first thing that springs to mind is try to have a bit of a vision of a future you, off of the weed and living a life that you would enjoy and be proud of. Try and sit and think about how good your life can be in a matter of a few months.

Without something to look forward to or a plan of some kind of future, it can seem pointless at times. For me i have a plan of becoming fitter and stronger and getting better at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Also i want to be able to afford an Xbox one x and a 4k screen in the future, haha.

Some of these might seem trivial but it's a start. I've quit weed so many times in the past and relapsed that I've lost count!
I think a good thing to remind yourself is that if you never give up giving up, you'll eventually get there. I too smoked for over 20 years, by the way and that was on a daily basis, roughly every hour! I smoked the weed like a crack or meth addict smoked their drug, looking back on it. It had 100% grip on me.

People often say "Weed is harmless, and iv'e never seen anyone sell their belongings to buy it" Lol, they've never met me then have they hahaa. I sold virtually everything to buy weed. The last item was my Playstation 4 earlier this year. Now I've got nothing but this old pc to play and am currently saving for the Xbox One X, dear me hey.

"When you're going through hell, KEEP GOING!" in other words don't turn around and go back to the beginning, as eventually you'll have to start at the beginning again, and it'll take even longer just to get back to where you are know in your quitting process, if that makes sense?

Hit me up anytime you want support! We are all here for you!

George
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#20

Postby Markdaniel » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:38 pm

George how u going off the pot how did u go were u suffering symptoms like depression and anxiety
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#21

Postby George from UK » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:35 am

Markdaniel wrote:George how u going off the pot how did u go were u suffering symptoms like depression and anxiety



Hi there, yes, i suffered greatly at the beginning, it was extremely difficult to get past the first 3 or 4 days without breaking. During those first 3 or 4 days, if i'd had easy access to weed, like someone i live with offering it to me, i'm not sure i could of stayed off it.

As for depression and anxiety. I'll be honest with you. My anxiety is higher than when i smoked weed hahaa, weed subdued my anxiety artificially, it numbed my emotions and just made me indifferent and apathetic, which is not good at all! But let's face it, i should be anxious giving my situation as a 39 year old man. It would be in-human to not be a little anxious lol. Anxiety is there for a reason, it mean one isn't happy with the way things are heading, in my opinion.

My depression however is a lot better. I have hope for the future now and i know i'm doing the right thing so that makes me feel much better on a day to day basis.

I hope this gives you some relief to know that if you can muscle through, you'll be feeling better soon, and all this will be a distant memory. Just never forget how bad you feel at the moment as to help you not relapse in the future. Don't forget this "bottom"!

A friend, George
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#22

Postby Markdaniel » Sun Aug 19, 2018 10:03 am

Hey George how long have u been off I'm 3 months and still very distressed bout what I've done to myself over 22 years and have depression and anxiety
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#23

Postby George from UK » Sun Aug 19, 2018 10:25 am

Hello mate,

I've been off the weed 17 weeks. I'm also still really distressed and mad at myself for letting my life get this out of control for so long, but, what are we gonna do?! Go back to smoking weed all the time and bury our heads in the sand for another 20 odd years lol? I don't think i would even enjoy going back on the weed to be honest. There's an old saying you've just reminded me of...

..."The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is NOW!"

Or something like that. Do you get what i mean? In other words there's literally nothing, 'NO THING' we can do about the past and what has happened, it's too late, i'm afraid! But we can take control of this very moment and every moment going forward. Life isn't perfect either.

Some times things go our way and other times life throws a big old spanner in the works. But if we take out ourselves out of the equation as a "known variable" that's literally all we can do.
So unless you wait for time travel to be invented. Get on with your life. Take chances. The cure for fear is action. Not thinking!


I hope some of my ramblings resonate with you?

your friend,

George
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#24

Postby Markdaniel » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:39 pm

I hardly feel strong I have constant worry and trying to work this morning on three hours sleep. I feel like Im fcked up.for good. Is this worry and fear and helplessness normal. I've made myself sick worrying bout things I cannot change. Am I mentally ill I feel severely depressed will I get through I feel like I have no hope. I'm over three months clean after 22 years it's a nightmare I'm scared to the loin of nearly wanting to be sick.
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#25

Postby Markdaniel » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:40 pm

Loin I mean point
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#26

Postby Cthompson21 » Sun Aug 19, 2018 10:02 pm

"Whenever you are hopeless know there is an unseen force guiding you in the right direction."

"don't despair, but if you do, work on in despair."

"Time and patience are the greatest warriors"

"I admire you for the battles that you've fought. Not the obvious material ones, but the ones fought and won behind your forehead"

Some quotes I hope that help you. I just read a book about a boy growing up in a bad situation and he said everyday "today I'm going to be a really tough guy." It might sound cheesy but I repeat that to myself when I go to work or have to face panic attacks or fatigue or whatever. Time is on your side, Markdaniel. I'm in a similar situation but not in your shoes, however wherever you are and anyone else out there going through this tough time I'm sending strength and love and light.
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