Starting at journey

Postby Cthompson21 » Thu Aug 16, 2018 12:05 am

I've been on this website a good but reading other stories. I guess I'm doing this for myself as much as others and hopefully something positive comes out of it. I went thru PAWS for 2 and a half years from another substance (ADHD med strattera and abusing caffeine) and it was the worst hell of my life. But I made it. Now on July 21 2018 I tried smoking a little weed. It wasn't a lot. It was enough to set me off though, and I felt anxious all week, and many of my old PAWS symptoms came right back. Insomnia and anxiety are the most prominent. I dealt with a little DR in the first week but that's gone. It seems like it's getting better and then I have a moment where I'm having an anxiety attack and I feel like yes. A long journey is ahead. Maybe months, maybe years. I hope to document my progress on this site and get support and give it. I've been practicing sleep hygiene and going to the gym to fight symptoms. The first week I was suicidal realizing I might have to go through the same agony I dealt with two years ago, but I've accepted it. I'm ready I take on PAWS and begin my recovery. And to stay sober, always. Best wishes to anyone else out there going through this.
Cthompson21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:13 pm
Likes Received: 20


#1

Postby BullFrog » Tue Aug 21, 2018 5:35 pm

Definitely keep us posted. It's therapeutic not just for yourself, but for all of us. Since these issues are not mainstream in medicine and with weed stilling being schedule 1 drug, these issues don't register much for doctors. So we are kinda left to our own devices mostly to try and recover. Hopefully in 20 years this will be more well known and there will be more helpful techniques and even medicine that can be offered to overcome (and better education of warning for cannabis that it is not so risk free like a lot of people and even studies suggest).

I'll keep you in my prayers. Please keep me in yours as well. :)
BullFrog
Junior Member
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:55 pm
Likes Received: 36

#2

Postby Cthompson21 » Sun Aug 26, 2018 10:39 am

Hey guys if anyone says reading this I could use some support. My anxiety has gotten a little better but I still feel generally crappy. I can't sleep well and wake up in the middle of the night with heart palpitations wishing I was dead. I play organ and two churches and used to be able to play anything with confidence now I struggle to get through a service and play all the right notes...I know I need to keep playing them to retrain my brain but man it's hard. If anyone is out there pray for me or send encouragement, I could use it.
Cthompson21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:13 pm
Likes Received: 20

#3

Postby BullFrog » Sun Aug 26, 2018 2:07 pm

I'm praying for you, Cthompson21. Stay strong. Sorry you are going through some rough days. It will get better. Don't be scared by the symptoms Accept them and push through. Be sure to not isolate yourself if you can. Be around people that love you. :)
BullFrog
Junior Member
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:55 pm
Likes Received: 36

#4

Postby Cthompson21 » Sun Aug 26, 2018 3:36 pm

Thank you Bullfrog. I'm struggling but pushing through. Anxiety comes and goes I'm starting to feel the fatigue kick in more. I'm taking steps to minimize symptoms but they will be here for a while and you're right I need to accept that. Just finished another church service, the congregation liked my playing and dont seem to notice I'm "off" since I've been doing this job long enough most of it I can fake through...but to me it's killer, having anxiety and working and pretending to be normal. I hate this!!! But itll pass, you're right, in a year or two I'll be a different person. Thanks for your support, it means a lot, i pray for you and everyone I talk to on here every day.
Cthompson21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:13 pm
Likes Received: 20

#5

Postby BullFrog » Sun Aug 26, 2018 7:30 pm

Thanks for the prayers brother and I'm proud of you for "pushing through". Seriously. It's tough work! Accepting it is so hard, but I am beginning to feel better about my situation and when symptoms are heavy I deal with it better as I begin to accept it more fully.

Now about the fatigue. Go on Amazon and look into a well reviewed B-Vitamin complex. It has helped me at times and I know it has for others. Since it is not caffeine you don't need to worry about activating anxiety. But perhaps the natural energy of the b-vitamins can give you some endurance boost that you need. Every little bit helps!

And are you trying flax oil or flax meal yet? Include it every day as much as you can.
BullFrog
Junior Member
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:55 pm
Likes Received: 36

#6

Postby Cthompson21 » Sun Aug 26, 2018 7:43 pm

I will look into b vitamins. Funny last time I had paws I took one and it DID give me anxiety but maybe I wasn't trying the right one? I'll have to research it. Also I'm not taking flax but I'm taking fish oil which has omega three, so many sources say omega 3 promotes brain healing so I'm taking a ton. But maybe flax will be better?

I'll keep on keeping on. I am better than a month ago I'll admit. This time a month ago I was trying to kill myself because I thought I'd never recover/work again. Hopefully by next month I'll be even better. One day at a time...
Cthompson21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:13 pm
Likes Received: 20

#7

Postby BullFrog » Sun Aug 26, 2018 10:33 pm

DEFINITE improvement there! Research the B-vitamin as it could have been a coincidence. Then again, I might be wrong. Do a bit of research like you said and double check.

A lot of people here use fish oil. My reservation is not so much that it won't work as more so I get concerned with a lot of fish being contaminated with metals. Flax oil/meal doesn't have that issue.
BullFrog
Junior Member
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:55 pm
Likes Received: 36



  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions