I think I'm a sexual deviant :(

Postby turkey25 » Sat Aug 25, 2018 2:40 am


I created an account on here because I thought it would be an acceptable place to discuss a rather serious issue I've been having...

More specifically, I am quite convinced that I'm a sexual deviant (and let me know if you disagree), and it is hard for me to cope.

A little bit of background: I'm a 24-year-old female, and I transitioned from male to female when I was 19. Even before I decided to live as a woman, I was very bisexual, and i would even go so far as to say that my libido was unhealthily high. My own muscles turned me on, and I would masturbate to myself in the mirror, or even in a public tanning bed. I was like really, really addicted to muscles...

After I transitioned, it got even worse, and now I'm literally addicted to men, as well as to other gorgeous trans women. I started working as a cam girl a couple years ago, as my libido was so high, even while on female hormones, that I could perform for 2-3 hours without much difficulty at all, sometimes reaching climax 3 times in a night despite not having testosterone in me.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that very "plastic"-looking people turn me on, so I have had reconstructive surgery on my face, to make me look both more feminine, but also more "plastic". I look great and don't regret it.

However, I'm realizing that there's a lot about my sexuality that is very odd. As a kid, even though I didn't know what it meant, i would get erections from strange things, usually that aren't found in nature. And it has been sort of getting to me again. I have dreams of having 2 sexual organs, instead of just the one that I have (and embrace), and really, anything that isn't normal seems to attract me (e,g., extremely developed female bodybuilders, or absurdly muscular men).

Of course, I'm an exhibitionist as well, and being subdued is another kink, but these are waaaayy more mainstream than some of the other attractions. Am I a deviant? How can I cope? It's just on my mind a lot as I'm trying to move from working as a cam girl to a regular college grad... It's a harder adjustment than you'd think. Thanks!
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Aug 25, 2018 3:33 am

I would try to stay away from labeling your sexual preferences and instead focus on how your sexuality is positively or negatively impacting having a happy, healthy, balanced, purpose driven life.

In other words, embrace the adage “everything in moderation” and spend some time each week reflecting on creating a good balance. Set goals, keep a journal, and if you begin experiencing negative impacts then adjust.

Currently, what are the negative impacts of your sexuality? Where are you lacking balance?
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