9 1/2 months weed withdrawal

Postby Robb1e_g » Fri Aug 31, 2018 1:28 am

Hey guys, I’ve posted many times asking for help and posting progress, love the support on here, but I’d like to give another update and maybe some reassurance or to see if what I’m still going through is even normal.

I’ll give another quick story on my background with weed, I’m currently 19 gonna be 20 soon (teenage years full of craziness already) I smoked some very potent wax for a year daily, and quit cold turkey the day I decided to chain smoke four bowls and 3 or 4 globs of dabs along with my first tab of lsd- only other drug I’ve ever taken besides weed, I’m a very sensitive person already and I realized then when having the most depressive panic attack trip of my life that I needed to get the **** away from this hellish drug. I am still very terrified of what I experienced that night and I really hope i didn’t do anything permanent to myself. I still panic thinking about that hellish day.

Anyways, I quit and the first few days were fine I thought that was it and I was gonna have my life back again, then what I believe is PAWS hit me like a truck.

First few months were hellish, obviously things are much much better now.

I will say month 8 was almost a breeze in quitting, I had many days where I felt real good with really the only thing I could recognize was slight dr/dp in the background of my head.

However, for the most part some days can still be quite the battle such as today. I still feel very bipolar with it all, I woke up and felt great and so thankful and joyous, and about halfway through the day I was playing xbox and it hit me like a truck, I started questioning life and death and reality and started panicking and doubting myself and having a huge inner battle (this has happened throughout my withdrawal) and I’ve heard suicidal thoughts are a normal part of recovery and I don’t know if I’d say I actually considered about it but I will panic every time any sort of thoughts about that and life and death pop into my head uncontrollably. Ihave no desire to take my life as I love myself and my family and friend and god and I have purpose. I have never had depression or anxiety before quitting weed. I will rarely but sometimes get tingling in my head and numbness that flows down my body before having something manic like this happen. But the feelings are so desperate and hopeless and scary. I feel like I’m not real sometimes still and sometimes just need to escape and have vision problems at least once a day.

I know that’s a lot to read but I’d be so thankful for someone to reassure me that it’s just PAWS and they know how I’m feeling. I hope these thoughts and feelings go away.

I am thankful for the days I have felt good and even amazing though, I hope it turns into a full time thing. I trust my family and you guys and God and I have hope so I will not give up. Thanks guys

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