3.5 Months, 3-Hit Relapse

Postby desp4change » Mon Sep 03, 2018 7:20 pm

Hi,
I’ve been clean for 3 and a half months. Last night I was hanging out with my friend, we had been drinking, he offered me a few hits and in my weakness I accepted.

I woke up anxious af today cause I’m scared those 3 hits are gonna undo all my progress. I really regret it. Am I now gonna have to start over??
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#1

Postby Cthompson21 » Mon Sep 03, 2018 10:21 pm

What kind of progress did you make? Maybe give it a couple days but hopefully you can use this as a lesson to not touch it again. I feel if you only did a little you might be not so bad off. I had paws from another substance and then smoked and it brought all my old symptoms back that I thought I was done with...I then realized that in order to recover and stay recovered I'd have to stay away from all substances that might trigger those symptoms again. Good luck and stay strong.
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#2

Postby desp4change » Mon Sep 03, 2018 10:26 pm

I went from having super frequent anxiety, loss of appetite, and nausea to being much better off with these things. Today was my most anxious day for a couple months, and I’m just hoping it doesn’t last longer than a few days.
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#3

Postby desp4change » Mon Sep 03, 2018 10:42 pm

It just sucks cause I was using this summer to clear my mind and prepare myself for this upcoming year of school. There were really dark times where I was super depressed and anxious to where I didn’t think I could go back. I don’t want to return to that. This is definitely a lesson for me
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#4

Postby Cthompson21 » Mon Sep 03, 2018 10:49 pm

I'm a month and a half clean and I've seen some improvements even though they're small. I hope school goes well for you. No matter what as long as you stay clean things will get better. There's a thing called the kindling effect I've read about, each time you relapse it makes it harder for your brain to recover. Just another reason to stay clean. Don't give up and keep us posted.
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#5

Postby BullFrog » Mon Sep 03, 2018 10:54 pm

desp4, it's hard to say whether it will "undo" your progress or not. But bottomline, set in motion anything you need to do to not be in a position again where you will feel tempted to take a joint. Make it clear to your friend what you are trying to do. If he is not cool with that, or offers some more to you again, or smokes around you, then he is hardly a person worthy of being called your friend.

And if you have more bouts of anxiety in the near future because you brought weed back into your system, then just accept it, don't fear it (it won't kill you) and just be patient with the whole thing. Time is the key. Glad to see you are back on the train again and working towards being clean. Fight on and be strong!
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#6

Postby desp4change » Mon Sep 03, 2018 11:53 pm

Thanks bullfrog and cthompson. It’s just so depressing, I really don’t want to have to start over for taking 3 hits. What a shitty mistake. I’ll keep pushing
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#7

Postby AngryDwarf » Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:21 am

Have you considered that perhaps it is the alcohol you drank that is causing the anxiety at the moment? From my own relapses I learned that just taking a hit or two rather stalls my progress for a couple of days than sets it back, but when I drank alcohol during the weed recovery I would wake up anxious and spend the whole day feeling crazy. There is something about cannabis withdrawal and alcohol consumption that make an awful mix... before I was smoking I actually liked the lazy state of mind the day after drinking. Now it would mean depersonalization, anxiety and paranoia.
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#8

Postby ashthewarrior7 » Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:50 am

I too felt anxiety episodes trigger off after I consumed alcohol. Caffine also made my thoughts race faster and get more crazy. you won't be starting from day 1. Don't stress. its harder to heal when you are stressed out. whats done is done and you only have to look ahead. you will recover and you will be fine. step by step and moment to moment.
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#9

Postby desp4change » Tue Sep 04, 2018 6:56 pm

Thank you ash and angrydwarf. I hope you are right and this feeling only lasts a couple of days. I woke up anxious today as well, and threw up after trying to eat some breakfast. I wasn’t completely recovered before by any means but I definitely felt better than this.
Starting this school year is a big thing for me as I have to move away from my family/support system to do so, so for me to mess up like this just a couple weeks before I leave is sort of devastating. That contributes to the anxiety. But you’re right, there is not much use dwelling on it other than to learn from it.
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#10

Postby dbezerkeley » Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:09 am

After 30 days I took 2 puffs and it caused quite a setback, I felt terrible for the next 4 days. Something I will keep in mind next time I'm tempted to do just a little bit after a long spell dry
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#11

Postby desp4change » Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:27 am

Hey dbezerkeley, tried to send you pms but the forum wouldn’t let me. Was your setback only 4 days? And after that, did you find yourself where you were right before those hits?

Really appreciate your reply.
Best,
desp
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#12

Postby dbezerkeley » Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:34 am

I think after the 4 days I'm probably back to where I was day 30, its hard to say, I was doing great around day 20 but was feeling bad again day 30, which maybe prompted me to take those puffs, not doing that great now. Could be due to work stress, idk, sleeping all the time again. I just feel like those 2 puffs were a setback, but as you see lots of people say they felt bad for months anyway. Can't wait to see how it feels in another month or two assuming I can hold off.
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#13

Postby dirtySanchez » Fri Sep 07, 2018 7:00 am

I think you should focus on one positive side of this relapse. Why? Because NOW you know what happens and you will be 100% determined to say no in the future. It could be much worse - for example... you could be in month 6 or 7 (when your brain is much more healed) and would relapse with small "3 tokes" - I am not a doctor but I think it would make much more damage to your brain.

I would also recommend that you stop drinking alcohol (and caffeine) for 1 year. Cut out everything that "changes/alters" your mind.

Wishing you the best man. Take care.
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#14

Postby Lucy0611 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:16 am

Im in 11 months. I made the same experience with alcohol the first few months like you. I was in a good episode and the bad anxiety hit me like hell the next 3 days after trank. I was so upset by myself. Now after 11 month this doesn't happened anymore. But I also stay away from alcohol because I want to live healthy. I think we are all in a healing process. Perhaps stuff like alcohol works at the same brain area than weed. Or it's the dopamine problem, I don't know. I think our brain has to heal. It takes time.
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