Postby ThisIsMeGuys » Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:32 am

Hi, so I've just started my new job and have new colleagues/friends to talk to. I don't have a lot in common with them and disagree with some of the things they have said. I'm frustrated with how I'm dealing with this and want to become better. At the moment whenever I disagree with someone I don't tell them directly. I'll just say "yes", nod my head or say "I understand". After thinking about this for a while I think it's incredibly rude and I'm disappointed in myself. I believe it's rude because it seems like I'm not paying attention to what they're trying to communicate to me.

I would like to know if it is effective to listen and understand a person's opinion instead of saying I disagree with them? I realise this takes a lot of energy to consistently do, at least for me it does. Is the other person likely to think that I agree with them? I honestly feel really uncomfortable just bluntly telling someone I disagree with them, especially because I'm so fresh into this new job.

Also, what are some other ways of disagreeing with someone? I really don't like the idea of confrontation when it comes to disagreeing with someone. It's never made me feel good in any way. I think plain out saying to someone that I disagree never works and the other person will always hold something against you, especially in a workplace. I also think its very difficult to agree to disagree with people. Just to make myself clear, when I disagree with someone I don't start an argument or throw a temper tantrum. I always make sure I'm not being rude or inconsiderate when someone says something that matters to them.

With all that said, they're extremely kind people and really interesting. I know I can learn a lot from them so I really want to make things work. I've always struggled socially and never tried anything like this. I really want to make this work. Thank you.
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Postby laureat » Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:43 pm

the good news is that you are aware of the problem so dont worry about it

you will soon find the best way how/when to agree or disagree with somebody
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Postby emtelligence » Fri Nov 02, 2018 12:46 am

Perhaps start off the sentence (if you're disagreeing) by saying, I value your opinion and understand it, but what if XXXXX?

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