10 months weed withdrawal

Postby Robb1e_g » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:24 pm

Hey guys, just giving an update on my withdrawal so far, still sucks but at the same time am seeing very minor improvements.

So far month 5 and month 8 seemed to be the easiest months if I can recall.

From 9 1/2 months to 10 months clean wasn’t so easy.

Problems I’d like to address that are hardest for me still are a lot of negative self talk and irrational fears and a vision of a bleak future. Probably from the anxiety which is still high for me and sometimes depressive thoughts and feelings.

A few times through this withdrawal I’ve had episodes for a week or two at a time maybe 4 times in these 10 months dealing with random violent intrusive thoughts as well which scare the sh** out of me that I can’t explain because I’m not like that at all. It eventually goes away though.

I still sleep a lot (surprisingly never had insomnia issues throughout withdrawal) maybe sleep too much, just always tired.

I will have half days and occasionally full days where I’m back to myself and feel happy and content again and life makes sense.

And then a lot of the time life doesn’t make sense and still question everything and at times feel no purpose and get easily confused, still can’t retain much information or hold good conversations because I’m so out of it and foggy all the time it seems like. I hope this becomes manageable in three months when I go to college.

I notice that distracting myself constantly and telling myself that I love myself seems to help along with patience and my maintain it seem like it’s the end of the world.

Still I trust that this is all from weed and I will be able to enjoy my life instead of fight for it.

I also have a question, am I the only one who fears giving up a lot or feeling like I’m doomed? Even in good days sometimes?

Let me know if you guys are suffering from any of these symptoms.
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#1

Postby AngryDwarf » Tue Oct 02, 2018 9:38 pm

Hi. I'm only three months in, but for what's it worth, I relate to every symptom you mention. Life not making sense, future looking bleak, sleepiness, brain fog. I'm also very hypochondriac, cycling through testicular cancer, prostrate cancer, heart disease and so on, constantly feeling like something is about to go wrong in my body. Well, that's anxiety.

I wish you courage - going through all of this HAS to be worth it in the end. One day in the future you will realize that you are happy to be alive. You may not notice it the day it first happens, but at some point you will realize that you have been fine for a while now. That's when you will know you are finally free.
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#2

Postby Cthompson21 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 9:52 pm

The feeling that you are doomed. I get the same way. So you are not alone on that one. I think the best way I deal with this is through distracting myself.

The fact that you are having good days is great! Even if they aren't every day. Keep moving forward, more will come soon. I'm still suffering from anxiety too and it seems to be going down? But then it comes back if I overextend myself.

I'm praying for you. Hopefully by a year or year and a half you will be worlds better!
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#3

Postby Robb1e_g » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:41 pm

I truly believe that this won’t last forever, I definitely think that is nonsensical. I appreciate the feedback guys this forum is great, I’ve been here since my withdrawal started and I will say it is already much better than the beginning and much easier to handle than it was in the beginning, but at the same time it’s still hard to battle everyday. I believe we will grow from this and be much more grateful and change for the better with a better view on life and be able to enjoy it even more after.
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#4

Postby thegreatdane » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:50 pm

Almost 9 months in and i feel the same way man. Tired almost all of the time, social anxiety, depression. Some days its worse and some days its better. Havent really had a "good" day in such a long time. Still i trust that im in the healing process and things will get better. Good luck man, keep updating us when you get to 11 months and so on :)
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#5

Postby Robb1e_g » Tue Oct 02, 2018 10:58 pm

Thanks for the reply man I most definitely think we will all recover, no one can do any type of drug for a period of time without consequences, some worse than others, but I will for sure reply every half month to month in my progress, I hope to reply in here one day saying I am fully recovered to shine a light to those who still are
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#6

Postby Astro413 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:45 pm

Hey Robbie, 3 1/2 months in and I’m with you symptom for symptom. I can say I’m so much better than I was the initial month. In fact despit on being 3 1/2 months in the first month seems like it was years ago. By that I mean it was so traumatizing I find it hard to remember every detail. I just wasn’t myself and I tryelyndodnt know who I was. Not saying that I’m 100% because I’m far from it in my opinion but everything is manageable now. I don’t wake up in panic anymore, I don’t really feel like the end of the world is near anymore, but I do still question my future and whether or not I’ll ever be 100%. I have good days where I feel happiness (often times only half days) and I have bad days where I feel anxious and depressed for absolutely no reason, but I find it a lot easier to distract myself now. I’m still eagerly awaiting the day that I can see life clearly again and can just be my happy self again without effort. These days are coming we just have to keep being patient.
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#7

Postby Robb1e_g » Wed Oct 03, 2018 5:35 pm

Thank for the reply Astro, glad to see you’re doing so well 3 1/2 months in, I believe you will definitely completely heal, as will all of us, it’s just a matter of when, keep pushing guys
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#8

Postby BullFrog » Wed Oct 03, 2018 6:39 pm

I love all this positive encouragement and camaraderie that we have here. We can all come here and rant and also be lifted up by one another. Like myself, for whatever reason last night I got that familiar adrenaline rush to my head that I have experienced many times in the past and since then my head has been swimming a lot more and have some small bouts of anxiety associated with it (what is crazy is I thought I smelt marijuana floating through my window and the adrenaline rush happened shortly after that - but I went outside and didn't smell it from any of my neighbors so hard to say). It's also hard to determine if the anxiety is psychological in that when I get feelings in my head I get anxiety because I am remembering all the terrible feelings I had in the first few months associated with those feelings. Anyway, it sucks, but all we can do is accept that we have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, good months and bad months. Focusing on how we feel often intensifies it, worrying about it brings great anxiety, and fearing it always makes it worse. Thus it is always best to focus on all the other things in our life and just let time do it's healing. Hell, even typing this out makes me feel better. haha!

Astro, SO glad to know you have massive improvement. Awesome!

Robb, stay true brother. It will get better. You, myself, all of us here know it will. Don't fear it. Ride out the times when it's really bad and just live our life. Right?

Fight on!
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#9

Postby Robb1e_g » Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:28 pm

You’re exactly right BullFrog, just ride it out, the best way out is through, what other choice do we have? Life is a gift and shouldn’t be taken for granted, life is important and we aren’t suffering for no reason. There will be a day we will realize we are okay again and will be able to live our lives like we used to. It’s coming guys stay strong
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#10

Postby leavepawsbehind » Thu Oct 04, 2018 1:38 am

Hi Robbie, I'm at 8.5 months and am feeling somewhat similar to you. I've dealt with a lot of physical symptoms, but a lot of those seem to be fading, including my tinnitus (which I thought would never go away). But I've been struggling with existential dread about time and life flying by me. I was high for most of about 4 years, through the last of my 20s, and I feel like I am waking back up as a middle aged person that didn't appreciate youth while I had it. And I keep fearing that I will develop some chronic health condition. Before I dealt with PAWS, I didn't have any health issues, and never gave my health a second thought, but the stress of PAWS and some of its symptoms have drastically lowered my quality of life. The stress of PAWS triggered a minor autoimmune response (that may have been congenital and genetic and just awaiting some type of stressor), and after that event, health anxiety rules over much of my life.
I'm still tired all of the time and have a depressed, negative outlook. I used to be a go-getter at work, even while I was smoking, but have lost the motivation and fire in my belly. I don't see the point, as my job doesn't seem to make any meaningful difference in the world. I just want to pick a corner and not leave it. I used to be happy and carefree, but now there is little joy. I'm not interested in my friends or family any more and like to stay in. My cat makes me laugh though, poor thing has received so much attention over these past 8 months, haha.
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#11

Postby Robb1e_g » Thu Oct 04, 2018 2:07 am

Hey man, I just want to let you know everything you’re experiencing is completely normal, as I’ve been going through all the same things, although people’s anxieties naturally lean towards things that fear them most. I actually fear depression and suicide greatly because I’m completely the opposite of depresses which is why those things are what plague me going through withdrawal and actually feeling these things. Realize that the more you fear the harder it makes it. I read that 94% of the negative thoughts that run through your mind aren’t true, so that should help a little. Also realizing that this is only temprary as an absolute truth is necessary because it is actually true that weed does this to you as does any drug and Post Acute Withdral Syndrome is a real thing and takes up to two years to fully recover from. The best things for me are keeping a good morning routine, and constantly neutralizing thoughts that trigger panic and fighting any negative thoughts and constantly reaffirming myself and being kind to myself as well as putting myself first. You have to love yourself through this as tough as the self doubt gets during this. Trust me I’ve dealt with so much existentialism these past 10 months as well as a bleak outlook that I’m just straight up annoyed with it, but it will go away, just keep distracted and even if you can’t feel connection with people (suffered from this too) keep acting like you do and it will come back trust me, stay strong man
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#12

Postby Astro413 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 8:41 pm

Dude reading your last post really hit home. I’m with you 100% word for word from my biggest fears, to the anxiety, to kind of where we stand and it’s nice to hear that I can relate to someone so much. It is shitty how the anxiety kicks in and makes us feel all depressed, but it’s true you just have to wait it out. Like bullfrog said in an earlier post we have bad days, weeks, and months, but they’re always followed with the good ones. Eventually we will beat this and won’t have to worry about these irrational drug induced feelings or worries anymore.
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#13

Postby Robb1e_g » Thu Oct 04, 2018 9:46 pm

It’s also nice for me to know theres people like you to relate to in such a difficult time, it lets us know we aren’t actually going crazy though it feels like it sometimes. I hope the best for you Astro as well as everyone else on here and I will keep up with updates
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