being honest

Postby SpaceHead112 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 1:15 am

I have Asperger's and for the people who don't know what that is, it is a label to say that I'm more likely to struggle in social situations and have other weird quirks that make me stand out. It's a stereo type and honestly its true for me. My whole life I've tried to ignore this and tell myself I'm like everyone else but I'm not and I'm honestly sad. I cringe every time I hear or think the word Aspergers. Past five or six months have been horrible. I feel awful, I'm sad and I don't know why. I don't enjoy anything, I used to love learning new things but now it's just another task that I have to do. I'm always tired. I think I have depression and that scares the sh** out of me. I don't get any enjoyment out of anything.

Is there anything I can buy at a pharmacist to help? I've never done alcohol or drugs but it has crossed my mind.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:12 am

Every person on this planet has a label or labels they don’t like. Every single person has something about themselves they “wish” was not true or different, etc. Enter the ridiculous argument of which label is worse. Label A is worse than B and is worse than C people cry out!

You don’t need a pill. You don’t need drugs or alcohol. You need a different philosophy. You currently have a philosophy where you are driven extrinsically, by the external world and the goals they set for you as being important in your life. You need to work on adopting an intrinsic philosophy, where you define your goals, where you set your own standards.
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#2

Postby Armstrong » Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:15 pm

@SpaceHead112 I too have Asperger, and before i (used to believe i) had endless energy. ... if life is war then i was young and inexperienced warrior, bound to seek war / study war, or whatever you study, i'm now in a house with two in the health department and i'm Not happy. I suspect my energy is ebbing, my youth.

I'll have to consentrate and realize i'm not independent.

http://www.islam101.com/quran/yusufAli/QURAN/90.htm
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#3

Postby SpaceHead112 » Wed Oct 17, 2018 2:24 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:Every person on this planet has a label or labels they don’t like. Every single person has something about themselves they “wish” was not true or different, etc. Enter the ridiculous argument of which label is worse. Label A is worse than B and is worse than C people cry out!

You don’t need a pill. You don’t need drugs or alcohol. You need a different philosophy. You currently have a philosophy where you are driven extrinsically, by the external world and the goals they set for you as being important in your life. You need to work on adopting an intrinsic philosophy, where you define your goals, where you set your own standards.


How would I start creating my new philosophy? It can't just be as simple as saying these are my goals and these are my standards right? Just repeating it over and over again until I believe it?
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#4

Postby Armstrong » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:55 am

I'm excited in wait of an answer.
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:35 am

SpaceHead112 wrote:How would I start creating my new philosophy? It can't just be as simple as saying these are my goals and these are my standards right? Just repeating it over and over again until I believe it?


Correct. It isn’t that simple. Changing an existing philosophy can be extremely difficult. How it generally occurs is in two ways:

-1- a slow process that occurs over time as more and more information challenges your existing beliefs.

-2- a rapid change as a single event crushes an existing belief.

An example is a system of beliefs many children hold regarding Santa Claus. These beliefs develop into a philosophy of how the world works, that bad children get coal and good children get gifts once a year by a man flying around the world in 24 hours using a sled pulled by flying reindeer.

How do children come to believe and then how do they eventually stop believing?

In some cases they slowly figure out certain beliefs don’t hold up to scrutiny. They begin to challenge those beliefs as they learn reindeer can’t fly. If reindeer can’t fly, then how does this alter their young philosophy of how the world works? How can Santa get around the world?

In other cases the child inadvertently walks in on mom putting presents under the Christmas tree and dad is eating the cookies and drinking the milk put out for Santa Claus and it is an immediate crushing blow to our beliefs which makes the child struggle to adjust their philosophy.

With the first path the slow process results in the child turned adult never being able to recall when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. It was too subtle a change. They know they use to believe, but can’t pinpoint the catalyst or an event that resulted in a change to their overall philosophy that the world does not have a large man flying around handing out gifts or coal.

With the second path it is a varying degree of “trauma” that becomes a salient memory. The child turns adult always remembers walking in on mom and dad. They remember the exact moment they were forced to rethink how the world works.

In both cases, it isn’t a matter of simply using self affirmation and repeating beliefs to be whatever you wish to believe. This is a common error in the use of affirmation. You can’t affirm the world is flat if you have no basis to question that belief.

With a sociocultural label such as Aspergers, it is a complex belief system with multiple layers. It isn’t as simple as the Santa Claus example as it is much more pervasive and subtle. Regardless, it is still a belief system. More specifically, it is a set of beliefs you personally hold about Aspergers that influences your philosophy regarding how the world works.

To change your philosophy, start by listing what you believe about Aspergers, e.g.

I believe Aspergers is genetic.
I believe people with Aspergers can’t learn a foreign language.
I believe people that can’t learn a foreign language are stupid.

You then start challenging each belief. You try to prove yourself wrong. And what can help is by focusing on beliefs that are very specific. For instance, the belief someone is stupid if they can’t learn a foreign language is very subjective, because the term stupid is not easily defined. But, the belief a person with Aspergers can’t learn a foreign language is easily confirmed or refuted.

You seem to hold a negative view of Aspergers and the limitations it places on what you can achieve. Stay away from general beliefs, such as “a person with Aspergers can’t be successful” and instead make it much more specific, such as “a person with Aspergers can’t be a surgeon, a pilot, a millionaire, a husband, a father, a lawyer, etc.”

This then allows you to begin narrowing in on specifically what beliefs you hold about Aspergers that you find so detrimental.
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#6

Postby Armstrong » Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:08 am

When you start backtracking and don't enjoy learning, that is the best time to learn and when you really can under-stand what you are learning and rightful authority. You learn when you can under-stand in best manner, not when you over-stand (stand over and "enjoy" what you are learning).

You can't both understand (learn and internalize) and overstand ("enjoy"). We appearently need to be humiliated to humble ourselves. Humans can't be trusted with 'power' (and enjoying while learning) because enjoying is 'power', learning is 'control'.

If you want to combine 'power' with 'control', you must renounce marriage and being anything people become. You fight then for a 'good' cause, but you are nobody, a Master. And while you don't get material recognition then (which you had/have an internal source of), you will get 'emptiness' / spiritual recognition like religions say - and supposedly possibly a good rebirth, as if you are saving money (and suffering) now and can spend them the next life.

If you want to be 'succesful' and normal, you must give up power / enjoyment (attack) and get humiliated and humble until you can utilize control / blockings for attacking. Like attacking with a shield. Aspergers is like a shield, a magical shield, which protects you with divine love, not a sword.

And you can get both, too, this is important. You can get 'power' first (which you had) and 'power and control' later in your current life which is your decisive phase where you shine, and then get just 'control /shield' plus you experience. It will happen. Because you are a descendant, you are decsending from higher more auspicious ground, but, what i'm saying once you have decended you have used your one shot (enjoyment and saved up energy) and are normal, no longer a warrior of good pure good as Aspies are, or they were in their prime.
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