Empty

Postby Gimme » Sat Nov 03, 2018 3:20 pm

Ok yeah, empty is the best word to describe it.
Not sad empty or numb. Just nothing, everything's so normal. Which is pretty odd because I was so depressed a year ago, crippling depression, I have the scars on my wrists to prove it but then it just stopped. It's odd to explain, but here's what happened. The day that it changed is a bit fuzzy, I can't quite remember what I was thinking or why it happened.
I dissociated or something and I can't remember why but I know there was a reason, I pushed something so deep down into myself until it was practically gone.The feeling was a bit intense, like something was leaving me. And I could tell something was amiss because for a second there afterwards I couldn't recognize my own surroundings.

My emotions were a bit dulled after that, I thought it was pretty normal of me until in situations where it called for empathy I just didn't feel what I thought I was supposed to feel. Oh well though, I figured once I gave it some time I'd be back to normal. That never happened.
The anger though, I can definitely feel that. This irritation and constant boredom. I dissociate a lot, when I'm angry or just lack self control at the moment. I do things that confuse me, it's like I'm out of my body looking at myself do something I wasn't even thinking about. Last time, I poured a pot of coffee over my head. Don't know why.
I steal things etc. I guess I'm violent now and days too, more aggressive in general.
Not remorseful either.

It's been an interesting year. Maybe I'm just depressed and don't even know it, but I'm so absolutely fine and more productive actually. No more anxiety, not much of anything.
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#1

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 03, 2018 6:33 pm

I have that empty feeling too..No emotions some anxiety but seems weakening. Suspect it may be a side effect of the drugs I take. It may not be though may be related to years of degeneration of mind.
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#2

Postby Mayfair » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:41 pm

I don't care what you think. My life is great right now. I honestly don't care what you are going through.
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#3

Postby Translucent » Sun Nov 18, 2018 12:47 am

Gimme wrote:Ok yeah, empty is the best word to describe it.
Not sad empty or numb. Just nothing, everything's so normal. Which is pretty odd because I was so depressed a year ago, crippling depression, I have the scars on my wrists to prove it but then it just stopped. It's odd to explain, but here's what happened. The day that it changed is a bit fuzzy, I can't quite remember what I was thinking or why it happened.
I dissociated or something and I can't remember why but I know there was a reason, I pushed something so deep down into myself until it was practically gone.The feeling was a bit intense, like something was leaving me. And I could tell something was amiss because for a second there afterwards I couldn't recognize my own surroundings.

My emotions were a bit dulled after that, I thought it was pretty normal of me until in situations where it called for empathy I just didn't feel what I thought I was supposed to feel. Oh well though, I figured once I gave it some time I'd be back to normal. That never happened.
The anger though, I can definitely feel that. This irritation and constant boredom. I dissociate a lot, when I'm angry or just lack self control at the moment. I do things that confuse me, it's like I'm out of my body looking at myself do something I wasn't even thinking about. Last time, I poured a pot of coffee over my head. Don't know why.
I steal things etc. I guess I'm violent now and days too, more aggressive in general.
Not remorseful either.

It's been an interesting year. Maybe I'm just depressed and don't even know it, but I'm so absolutely fine and more productive actually. No more anxiety, not much of anything.


You have lost your soul, Gimme.
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