Is romance an illness?

Postby desperate788 » Mon Nov 05, 2018 10:10 am

It caused only suffering for me so far. Can there be a happy romantic? Is it an illness.? It's cure sexual desire right? Anyways can it be cured?
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#1

Postby Candid » Mon Nov 05, 2018 5:12 pm

Why would you want to 'cure' natural functions?

For you, romance causes suffering because you don't declare yourself. You try to hide how you feel.

That's daft.
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#2

Postby desperate788 » Mon Nov 05, 2018 5:31 pm

My depression started when I became romantic at 18.
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#3

Postby Armstrong » Mon Nov 05, 2018 6:23 pm

You are old now
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#4

Postby desperate788 » Mon Nov 05, 2018 6:25 pm

It was an issue from past but lately my romance feelings increased I think.
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#5

Postby quietvoice » Mon Nov 05, 2018 7:06 pm

Yes, romance is delusion. Romance is the expectation of someone coming to your rescue, to rescue you from your former self of tired, old feelings and tired, old ways of seeing your world. Romance wakes you up. Suddenly, everything is wonderful . . . but, the only thing different is the person on whom a projection is placed, a projection of your perfectly ideal mate, someone who can move you through life with nary a difficulty. This all comes from within.

Then, there's the day when this projection has been pierced by 'reality,' where this perfectly ideal mate is no longer perfect, where the noticed imperfection is perfectly unacceptable to the mind of the perceiver. Thus ends the romance. A romance story blown away in the winds of time. Then comes the true test of relating with another human being, and the seeing of your self through relationship.
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#6

Postby Armstrong » Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:09 pm

quietvoice wrote:Yes, romance is delusion. Romance is the expectation of someone coming to your rescue, to rescue you from your former self of tired, old feelings and tired, old ways of seeing your world. Romance wakes you up. Suddenly, everything is wonderful . . . but, the only thing different is the person on whom a projection is placed, a projection of your perfectly ideal mate, someone who can move you through life with nary a difficulty. This all comes from within.

Then, there's the day when this projection has been pierced by 'reality,' where this perfectly ideal mate is no longer perfect, where the noticed imperfection is perfectly unacceptable to the mind of the perceiver. Thus ends the romance. A romance story blown away in the winds of time. Then comes the true test of relating with another human being, and the seeing of your self through relationship.

Interesting piece, romance is not neccesarily delusional.
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#7

Postby quietvoice » Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:53 pm

Armstrong wrote:Interesting piece, romance is not necessarily delusional.

In what way or ways can it not be delusional?

~~~
ro·mance
1.
a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

de·lu·sion
noun: delusion; plural noun: delusions

an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument, typically a symptom of mental disorder.
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#8

Postby Armstrong » Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:54 am

Romance is to be a "bad-boy", and girls like bad-boys.
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#9

Postby Candid » Tue Nov 06, 2018 7:36 am

But women like good men. Always a good idea to keep an eye on the long haul.
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#10

Postby desperate788 » Tue Nov 06, 2018 7:41 am

I understand. If I enjoy woman healthily in a normal way there won't be a romance problem the problem is that's not likely to happen..
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#11

Postby Armstrong » Tue Nov 06, 2018 9:02 am

Candid wrote:But women like good men. Always a good idea to keep an eye on the long haul.

Given their both breadwinners, however more responsibility falls upon the man for hard work due to physical and mental differences, even in egalitaristic societies. It is then a man right to be bad-boy, it is called boy because old people are wise and retired.

It is psychological and much talk.
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#12

Postby johnusacitizen » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:07 am

Ahh, come on.
Romance is a culturally narrative, dictating how you should convey yourself and interact, so yeah it's dumb. Relationships are built over time or merely played at(no wonder so many fall apart over time.) Rapore, understanding, shared living builds strong, enduring relationships. Now the immediacy of attraction... It's both a problem and a bonus. Maybe who you're attracted to will be a decent person, maybe not. When you build a foundation of friendship with loads of shared experiences, and that person is also physically intoxicating is amazing. It's sad to think someone who's great company can't experience expressions of affection due to superficial appearances, but it's true.

Anyway romance, is more about playing out a part in a game... Just shut up and share your life with someone you care about and who cares about you. I'm not happy with this post, but I don't know you, so have no idea about your unique form of confusion.
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