Week 10: i'm slipping, Don't know what to do

Postby InkChalk » Mon Nov 19, 2018 5:38 am

Hey good people of the Forum,
I have noticed the early signs of possible relapse so i've decided to reach out.
The last few days driving past the weed stores, I'm feeling weakness and temptation to stop by.

I've quit many times, usually can do a sum of 6 months per year weed free, but never broken free. I'm approx 10 weeks weed free now. This has been a good quit so far, and has felt one of the best yet.

Recently i've injured my back (herniated disk), and I sprained my Foot a few weeks ago, so i haven't been as active lately, and in minor chronic pain.
Lately my diet, too many movies, depression have become an issue. I'm trying to cut it down, but it's been a slow fight against those habits. My sleep is also degrading. Work stress is upping with more computer work which i find tough.
Also recently i've been diagnosed with Celiac disease (gluten), and some other food allergies, so i've had to restructure my diet completely.

Having written this so far, i feel my list of 'negatives'. I know somewhere in me I can regain control. But it's just not that easy to flip it all around, when push comes to shove for some reason. I need a something that i'm just not able to figure out what it is. Maybe it's staring at me in the face... I can't see it. Maybe i already have it?

I've cleaned my house. Tried to cook more, draw, go to the library. I go for long walks every morning. Waking up is getting harder every day, and i wish could get out of bed earlier, but i feel this increasing heavy weight in my soul each morning.
I started to read every night before bed now, both for pleasure, and self improvement/learning. brief Meditating and doing exercises in books i've been reading about well being.

And i live in a rural area where i'm relatively new and don't know too many people. My back injury needs some rest, so my usually social outlet is the gym where I have a few friends i train with.
Weed has also become legal, and i drive by multiple stores every day... a little voice says "oh just stop over there, and get some for your back pain". A slipper slope.

But it's all still getting tougher, and i'm looking for an easy way out... I'm not sure how much longer this off.
Have you experienced something similar? What have you done in these tough times?

Thank you for reading if you've gotten through this long message.
InkChalk
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#1

Postby ashthewarrior7 » Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:29 pm

Hi Inkchalk,

You've done the right thing by reaching out.

There is no easy way out. Withdrawals get worse with loneliness and that is staring right into your face. Get some friends who can help you or hire a life coach before you need to hire a shrink. You can trust me on this one. :) Get a significant other if you're single as well.
ashthewarrior7
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#2

Postby InkChalk » Tue Nov 20, 2018 4:58 am

Thanks for being blunt and brief.
You are right, i wrote it myself too, but muddled in a whole of my internal fight.
Ive been a bit hesitant getting into another relationship, or even a close friendship.
The last 'friend' i made, tried to force more weed, and even opiates into my life. Turnout he was a liar and was actually an opiate addict bully that wanted to control others.
As the last ones have been with poor choice of character. And took a toll on the soul. I've steered away from opening up to new people since then.
But now that fear is taking another turn for the worst. I suppose i need to find good circles somehow in this new area.
I miss living in my old city where I had a good friend circle of good people with similar mindsets and values.
InkChalk
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#3

Postby cleanofgreen » Tue Nov 20, 2018 8:35 am

Maybe you could find some clubs in your area with something that interests you. You will probably find decent people in these clubs and potential friends. Its a great way to meet people of a similar interest.

Try meetup https://www.meetup.com.

Good luck and stay strong
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