Money Matters

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 10:44 am

Hi to everyone in uncommon forum.

I've been stressed out, depressed to the point where I attempted suicide by overdosing on painkillers, antidepressants, and sleeping tablets.

I'm broke. I owe £75k (mortgage and loan) and have no money throughout the month to do anything with. My existence is repetitive, miserable.

I worry about this all the time and can never get ahead. I asked my boss for a pay increase but was denied and will review it next year again. I don't have credit cards. I just don't have any money and I worry about my mental health over it. I've taken on part time work as well as my full time job so I'm busy.

I make about £1.4k a month.
Mortgage: £420 (house is in negative equity.)
Loan: £370 (1 year already paid off - 4 years to go - 20k loan. 5k paid off)
Internet: £35
Insurance: £100 (house and car)
Fuel, Electric, House hold goods: £200 (car and house oil)
Food: £200
Rates: £35
Gym: £30

I can never save money no matter how hard I try and I'm constantly struggling to the end of the month for money. Sometimes I go days without eating and I don't know how to improve my situation.

Any help is much appreciated. I'm in a pickle.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Nov 20, 2018 11:57 am

Two things, (1) the financial problem, (2) the mental.

Financial: You make 1400 and you spend 1390. Cut the gym and the Internet for starters. There are also other areas you can cut. £200 for food means you are not yet eating rice and beans. You are drinking more than water.

2nd option, find a roommate. You have a house, so I’m assuming more than one bedroom. Also, you didn’t mention family and your costs are all based on single expenses. If you don’t have more than one bedroom, sublet. Move in with a friend, find a cheaper place while the tenant effectively pays the mortgage/utilities.

Mental: regardless of the financial, the mental is where you should focus. Being absolutely broke is not the worst thing in life. Money certainly helps make life more comfortable, but it isn’t the cure for the mental struggles we all must face. There are plenty of wealthy, suicidal people. Mental toughness, the ability to be resilient in times of crisis is not developed by acquiring money. In fact, the more money people acquire the more comforts they buy and the less prepared they are for loss.

Seneca. a stoic philosopher, notes repeatedly that being poor is nothing to fear. When a fire starts the rich man panics as they struggle to decide what to save first, then second, then third. The poor man simply walks away.

You are currently in a positive situation. You are making more than you spend. You have places you can cut expenses and you have other options. Use this time to embrace the challenge and develop the mental side of you that will serve you going forward.
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#2

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 12:14 pm

Financial: You make 1400 and you spend 1390. Cut the gym and the Internet for starters. There are also other areas you can cut. £200 for food means you are not yet eating rice and beans. You are drinking more than water.


I've went days without eating. I suppose I could eat less or just eat rice and beans and water until something changes.

2nd option, find a roommate. You have a house, so I’m assuming more than one bedroom. Also, you didn’t mention family and your costs are all based on single expenses. If you don’t have more than one bedroom, sublet. Move in with a friend, find a cheaper place while the tenant effectively pays the mortgage/utilities.


Its a one bed. I don't have friends that would take me in. I don't have family just to clear things up with you.

Mental: regardless of the financial, the mental is where you should focus. Being absolutely broke is not the worst thing in life. Money certainly helps make life more comfortable, but it isn’t the cure for the mental struggles we all must face. There are plenty of wealthy, suicidal people. Mental toughness, the ability to be resilient in times of crisis is not developed by acquiring money. In fact, the more money people acquire the more comforts they buy and the less prepared they are for loss.


Right. Thanks for that.

Seneca. a stoic philosopher, notes repeatedly that being poor is nothing to fear. When a fire starts the rich man panics as they struggle to decide what to save first, then second, then third. The poor man simply walks away.


Walk away as in suicide? oh...I see like just walk away and ...keep walking.

You are currently in a positive situation. You are making more than you spend. You have places you can cut expenses and you have other options. Use this time to embrace the challenge and develop the mental side of you that will serve you going forward.


I can cut expenses. I won't eat. I won't go out. I will just live like a nobody and nothing. Thanks for your help. Not sure what the other options are. but I'll look into whatever is needed.
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#3

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 12:56 pm

I guess Richard is right. I have nothing. I have nothing to lose. so perhaps suicide is still on the cards. maybe. I don't know anymore. I feel like screaming most of the time. I can't see a positive future for me. I feel lost and hopeless and with no realistic chance of change.
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:04 pm

I said you are in a positive situation. You have nothing really to lose, which means you have all to gain.

If you are going for days without eating, but have a gym membership, then your priorities are wrong. If you are spending £200 a month on food, but that doesn’t cover the month then you are not managing your money.

You can frame my advice as negative as you wish. There is nothing I can do about that. There is no advice that you can’t twist into a negative if you so choose. Which probably explains a lot more about your current financial situation and living arrangements than you realize.
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#5

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:36 pm

I just cancelled my gym membership online. So I just saved £30 a month. And lets say I don't eat everyday (but every other day) I can save about £70.
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#6

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:48 pm

I said you are in a positive situation. You have nothing really to lose, which means you have all to gain.


What do I have to gain? Sorry I'm confused and lost on what you mean by this.

If you are going for days without eating, but have a gym membership, then your priorities are wrong. If you are spending £200 a month on food, but that doesn’t cover the month then you are not managing your money.


oh no...no! I have money to eat until the end of the month.

You can frame my advice as negative as you wish. There is nothing I can do about that. There is no advice that you can’t twist into a negative if you so choose. Which probably explains a lot more about your current financial situation and living arrangements than you realize.


I'm looking help on my current financial situation. I believe this to be the root cause of why I attempted suicide.
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#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:54 pm

Ramen noodles must be very expensive where you live. But the cost of food is not your actual problem. It’s the negativity you add to the recipe.

You are not losing money. You are not homeless, no car, no job, no insurance, no electricity, no food.

You are in a tight situation, but you still go home to a safe place with a hot shower, warm meal and a soft bed while you surf the Internet.
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#8

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:58 pm

All very true. Then I don't understand what happened me that night when I attempted suicide. I felt overwhelmed and a strong desire to end everything. Because I was repeating myself in a cycle, doing the same things over and over again and not getting anywhere with life. Repetitive, monotonous, of earning money and keeping on top of my bills. That was all I was doing for the last 12 months and I didn't want to do it anymore because it brought me no satisfaction. So i felt really calm when overdosing. I felt it was the right thing to do. I still do to some degree.

I'm into my overdraft and I don't know what I'm going to do for the next 2 weeks.
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#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Nov 20, 2018 2:32 pm

BrokeSuicide wrote: I didn't want to do it anymore because it brought me no satisfaction.


Yes, because of a gym membership, Internet, cell service, and whatever other costs that kept you break even. You would have felt satisfaction if you were managing your finances, saving £50 or more a month. You would be looking at £600 in the bank over the last 12 months vs. overdraft. £360 of that would be just on the gym membership!

I'm into my overdraft and I don't know what I'm going to do for the net 2 weeks.


Donate plasma, eat Ramen noodles. sell your PS4. That’s what I did when I was in debt and tight on money.
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#10

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:08 pm

I don't have a PS4. I have a few books and a TV. I could sell those. I literally have a bed, sofa, kitchen table, sink, shower, refrigerator...that is about all on anything of value. I don't have a phone (cell service) just gym (which I cancelled) and internet (which I will cancel)

All my bills are currently paid and up to date. I'm into my overdraft. But I feel depressed and sick and frustrated about my life and the situation I find myself in. I can't see how this makes my life great (just get rid of most things???). It feels like a step back with no potential of moving forward.
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#11

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:29 pm

I just think all my problems would end if I was dead. Life is a problem. And all the problems in life just don't seem to be worth it.
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#12

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 6:56 pm

I went for a walk. Cleaned the house up a little bit. Read a book. Now I'm bored and feel depressed and sad.
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#13

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 8:35 pm

I can exercise at home now that I've saved money not going to the gym. What an amazing life I have lol

I feel utterly pathetic. Oh well what can I do.
BrokeSuicide
 

#14

Postby BrokeSuicide » Tue Nov 20, 2018 9:20 pm

Tick tock!
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