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#30

Postby helloun » Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:53 pm

I would like to be worry and anxiety free at most:D
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#31

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:10 am

desperate788 wrote:Book is inspiring and good. Alfred alders method to cure melancholia make someone happy for 14 days I liked that idea my all depression started when I became a heavy antisocial at 18..I was never a social as a teen but at 18 I became a heavy antisocial. This idea came to my mind even solution to my loss of libido problem is in socialising


All good stuff. But then:

but my asexual preferences require loneliness I think


You think wrongly. There's no upside to loneliness, and it's even sillier when you're surrounded by people just like yourself who would like someone to talk to. You could try making someone happy for 14 days -- or 14 minutes if that's as much as you can do.

I'm aware I'm writing a junk post just wanted to talk


That's the problem right there. You like to complain about how bad your life is, instead of doing something about it.

What are you punishing yourself for?
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#32

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:14 am

I socialised for two days but it didn't work no improvement at how I feel..still worried anxious lethargic. I don't know what I'm punishing myself for..It should be unconscious
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#33

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:29 am

desperate788 wrote:I socialised for two days but it didn't work no improvement


So... you do things one way for more than 20 years (since you were 18) then you try a different way for two days... and it "didn't work" so you give it up.

What fraction of 20 years is two days? What makes you consider that a fair trial?

You need to be making connections and you know that. You won't get any better at it by sitting back and saying "it didn't work".

No, it doesn't work. You have to work at it. You're out of practice.

How at how I feel..still worried anxious lethargic.


Your lethargy is a terrible thing indeed. It keeps you powerless and constantly asking people what you should do in every little situation that arises, most of them imaginary. Then you ignore what people suggest you do, or you try it for two minutes and tell us "it didn't work".

Either you want to be part of humanity or you don't. It's up to you whether the next 20 years look and feel the same as the last 20 years. Or worse.

Without effort, nothing will change. Complaint isn't going to bring you the things you say you want. All that will happen is you'll be 60 then 80 and your chances of finding what you want will have decreased every year.
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#34

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:41 am

I'm losing hope I think I will have a life with no joy all my life because of mistakes I made in teen hood. I'm so sorry about that I'm so degenerated that I can't even feel sadness I'm such a hopeless case I can't even talk. Things become worse in the last few months I have problems reflecting my thoughts as posts is it because I'm talking to my mother more often ly lately I'm getting worse this pressure in my head doesn't allow me to write
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#35

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:52 am

desperate788 wrote:I'm losing hope I think I will have a life with no joy all my life because of mistakes I made in teen hood.


Rubbish. Pick one of the inspiring actions from the book and get on with it.

I'm so degenerated that I can't even feel sadness I'm such a hopeless case I can't even talk.


No one here can feel sorry for you, because that job's been taken. You've got feeling sorry for yourself down to a fine art.

Things become worse in the last few months


Yes, that's since you found out your father was ill and you knew you needed to go home.

is it because I'm talking to my mother more often


What is she saying? What does she suggest? Does she still want you to go home?

lately I'm getting worse this pressure in my head doesn't allow me to write


I don't see you having trouble writing. I'm seeing you struggling with the decision to quit your job -- the one you say you hate -- and go back to Istanbul.

That decision's been made. All you have to do is follow it through.
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#36

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:04 am

I can't take action my thinking so pessimist believing nothing will work. My mother wants me at istanbul I want to see her more often ly too she says she tries to find a powerful man. Indeed I may deteriorate after learning my father is in very bad condition it was autumn and things become problematic I was going well. I want to quit my job so much but the consequences I can't do it. I feel like I'm writing the same empty meaningless crap over and over. I'm just fed up living with work anxiety
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#37

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:34 am

desperate788 wrote:I can't take action


In that case you must be dead.
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#38

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:41 am

Dead inside..my soul should be dead.
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#39

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:44 am

desperate788 wrote:I was going well.


Before you found out your father was ill? No you weren't! You were complaining about everything then, just as you are now.

No one can do it for you.
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#40

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:51 am

Yes I wasn't so good then too. I was just relatively better.
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#41

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:18 am

And getting worse every day, right?

It's like a ball rolling downhill. It's got a lot of momentum in the wrong direction. It will take effort to stop it.

But you can't make that effort, can you? Your mind is too messed up. You're too lethargic. What works for everyone else doesn't work for you. You made mistakes in your teens for which you're paying now, and life is just going to keep getting worse as you get older. That's just how it is for you, and nothing anyone says is going to make a blind bit of difference.

That's the ball rolling downhill. You're hugely invested in keeping yourself miserable. It's exhausting. I'm not surprised you're always tired and have no energy. It takes a powerhouse to keep fighting the good things in life the way you do.
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#42

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:55 am

It's sad and scary that things are getting worse with momentum. And I'm still the same idiot.
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#43

Postby desperate788 » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:56 am

What will happen to me? What will my dreams be?
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#44

Postby Candid » Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:01 am

You'll go on as you are, tormented by dreams you're too scared or too tired or just plain too lazy to reach for.

OR you'll change your mind, stop complaining and start taking action.

From where you are now, any action at all would be a miracle.
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