by Cthompson21 » Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:21 am
Just felt like posting something because I've been so miserable lately. I think the holidays are stressful and having PAWS makes it 10x worse. People being happy and excited about family and decorating and Christmas shopping just makes me feel bitter and sad. I had off work today and I slept most of the day since I was so exhausted from not sleeping well. At work I do the minimum to get by. I am severely depressed, I just feel numb. I have this great app called sobertime and it gives me quotes and goals and six months is my next one but some days I just can't take it, and wonder how I'm going to make it to the next goal. People being happy all around me and I feel awful. I hate being alive and I get no joy. I hope I haven't done permanent damage to my brain. I hope it gets better. Everything is just so awful right now I can't stand it and I wish i was dead or at least in a coma until my brain heals. I feel like an empty shell. That's all. I hope holidays are going okay for everyone. They really make bad feelings way worse, at least for me.