Just to note, English isn't my native language so I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I missed.
I'm 21 and everything I've done for the past three or four years has felt wrong or I was missing something. Sort of second guessing myself in everything I do. For instance, I travelled on a train for three years going to and from university and I would panic thinking I'm on the wrong train going to the wrong place even though I had taken the same route for over a year. I could have sound logic, reason with myself for hours but I still wouldn't trust myself. This is hard for me to put into words so I hope that makes sense. I used to panic and get really nervous when I had to write essays. I'd stay up all night worrying about if all of the content I had wrote on my papers were relevant and good enough for the professors. Some papers should have taken me a single hour tops but it would take me a few days to complete it. It's exhausting but I don't know what to do about it.
Thinking back, something that made me start to question almost everything was when I realised I wasn't the person everyone around me was describing. I realised that I wasn't smart or funny or confident as everyone around me said. If I'm being honest, I care a great deal on how I am perceived by others. I would do things in order to seem smart or funny. I'm not sure if I am just stressed but this has been happening for a few years and I'm starting to give up on everything. I don't enjoy anything anymore even the things I used to enjoy seem like weights. I feel uneasy all of the time, especially the past few months. I'm not happy.
Kind Regards,
Katie