In need of help/reassurance

Postby HopefulMe » Sun Dec 23, 2018 5:51 pm

:cry: Hello everyone. I have been on this forum reading so many stories here that have helped me so much. I have been going through PAWS for a little over 9 and a half months and it has been so hard....I honestly would rather go through labor for a year than this. The first three months were just out of this world difficult. I never in a million years thought this so called "innocent, medicinal" plant could ever cause something like this. For starters I never had any interest in that stuff growing up. But stupidly gave in when the whole its "medicine" bs started bc I have chronic back pain. I did it for 4 freaking years. Something happened that made me stop so I stopped cold Turkey.....and all hell broke loose.....now here I am almost 10 months later asking does this really get better? Last month and this month have been pretty hard . Kind of like the first three months but not to that extreme if that makes sense. Like it's difficult to deal with and yesterday was one of the worst days. Has anyone ever gone through that? Is it bad then kind of ok for like a couple of months then bad again? Or is it just my shitty luck? I'm trying. I really am. I just really need reassurance. I am having moment where I'm feeling more like myself....I just dont want to lose hope. I have my two kids and my husband...
HopefulMe
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#1

Postby ashthewarrior7 » Mon Dec 24, 2018 3:59 am

You'll read alot of posts here that say PAWS comes in waves, people have good months and bad months, and also that alot of people for a month or two think they are out of the woods only to be hit by another wave of paws. It's completely normal, infact an intense wave of paws hit at months 6, 9, 12 and 18. Around those months, I read that in a study/article. You yourself are telling that the waves are getting better so you're on the track of recovery, I understand it's hard, but the only way out is to keep going on, step by step and day by day, let this wave be a reminder to not take the good days for granted. Your two kids love you and even if they don't show it enough, you mean the world to them. You'll be out of this soon, 10 months is a great milestone, 12 months will be even better. Hang in there and stay strong, what you are going through is normal for paws
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#2

Postby HopefulMe » Mon Dec 24, 2018 2:23 pm

Thank you for replying. I really appreciate it. Alot of people around me tell me that I am doing way better. My substance abuse councilor said that i am way better too along with my therapist but that I'm not going to see it fully yet. I can tell theres a difference it's just when it gets harder it also gets harder to see. I have had ok days. I'm just waiting for my feeling normal days to start happening. I have moments where I am proud of myself because I've made it so far. It's just those hopeless moments that make me feel like I failed. I hope that if this isnt completely over by a year at least it's way better =/
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