I'm really tired

#30

Postby Candid » Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:29 am

Guess what? wrote:I felt like she deleted me cause she get offended from the fact i disappeared.


And yet...

Guess what? wrote:I gave her my time, my patience, gifts, dinners, cuddles, etc.


You also "disappeared" at some point, right? Might that have been in any way manipulative?

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:... maybe what you see as being all sweet and cuddly she sees as obnoxious.

If I had to guess, some women might even see you as borderline stalking.


I'm going for the former. You don't seem to have a problem persuading women to spend time with you, so this isn't about your appearance. It's about what you have in your head. Gifts, dinners and even cuddles won't win fair lady as long as it's your belief that it should lead to sex. There are plenty of women who'll have sex with you for half a lager, but clearly that's not the kind of woman you're pursuing.

If you want a car, any car, you might buy a bomb because you've got the cash in your back pocket. You'll feel good about your bargain for a while, even though the driver's door doesn't lock and every man Jack can borrow it any time you're not looking. So what? When it lets you down, as it surely will sooner rather than later, you simply dump it and buy another.

Or you can be patient, save for the car you really want, one that's reliable in every way.

You say you gave this woman your patience, yet your posts show that what you want and expect is sex. Patience isn't something you can give, it's something you have. Most women are alert (we have to be) to men who shower gifts and compliments while their tongues are hanging out for the payoff. Do you imagine she didn't know that was what you wanted? :lol: Women enjoy sex as much as men do; in fact there's scientific proof that the female orgasm is 30 times more powerful than the male's.

And you gave her your time? Seriously? Including this as some kind of gift marks you as a time-server -- again, just hanging on for payday.

Thinking you're owed something in return for gifts and dinners is insulting, and when a woman feels insulted she shuts down.

How would you feel about a woman you barely know buying you dinner, giving you a box of chocolates, then expecting to get her hands all over you for a "cuddle"?

My guess is she clocked your accelerated breathing and heart rate during these cuddles. If it isn't the man she wants, or she doesn't want him yet, a decent woman with an instinct for self-preservation won't waste any more of his time or her own. Her lock is secure, and she's not about to hand the key to anyone who clearly doesn't understand how cars work.
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#31

Postby Candid » Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:40 am

Vernies wrote:Looks like you just want to get laid, and you do not get laid often too. If you proceed to think and act like you never talked and deserved any girl who likes you before, don't even bother going to talk the girl.

Assume you're a likable guy, it's nothing out of ordinary that a girl will like you. You go to the girl and get interested in "her" and not yourself to get laid.

... get interested in her. You're not talking about you not because you know you're boring etc. , it's just that you're confident and want to get to know her, and you're not even sure after knowing her you will want to hang out longer.

... if she really likes you, she makes it easy for you, gives you her number ...

Do not be the creepy guy and go for it.


Words of wisdom from viewtopic.php?t=107718, a great First Post for Vernies.
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#32

Postby Guess what? » Tue Jan 15, 2019 8:17 pm

Candid wrote:
Guess what? wrote:I felt like she deleted me cause she get offended from the fact i disappeared.


And yet...

Guess what? wrote:I gave her my time, my patience, gifts, dinners, cuddles, etc.


You also "disappeared" at some point, right? Might that have been in any way manipulative?


Oh candid, you don't even know how this doubt tortures me...
But well, i disappeared cause i saw that she's not interested, she can't say the same.

Plus, she doesn't watch my stories since the 1st jan, not even after a day that we stopped talking to each other, and I put a like on her pics, but she didn't write to me; not even for an "happy new year"... i was waiting her... sounds stupid, but since i invite her to hang out just for few minutes and she refused anyway.. well.

Probably i'm just been naive... i was so happy cause she said she likes me and she was fine with me, and i said to her the same. I thought i would be in my first serious relationship with a really kind girl, i didn't ask more... but since then things went not better... i didn't mind since others didn't make me notice that she doesn't care much, and then things became clear.

probably she deleted me cause she doesn't care, and i'm looking for a stupid excuse to think that she may is interested yet.

I'm feeling so stupid that i trusted and thought that maybe something would changed. She probably meet another one since she was hanging with her friends and two guys.. i don't know, i don't care due she just cutted me off. But sure it hurts.

I will read the rest later..
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#33

Postby Guess what? » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:58 pm

Sex is just a part... i don't know why i make you all think that i just expected sex from this.
I'm just disappointed for how things are gone.,,
I don't care if someone thinks that it's offensive; on facts i put money, head and heart on these; in the other side there was nothing.

It's not that i wanna buy her -_- ... but sure this annoyed me, but more it hurts because once again i resulted nothing for someone while i was giving all myself. Yes, i was.
Sure I was doing for my own interested, cause i was fine with her, i don't do charity, sure girls don't do either.
I just don't want to be hypocritical, and trying to say what i'm feeling.

I wanna know where i did wrong... i wanna see the finger pointing the exact moment where i did wrong; cause if i seemed a little bitter, it's just after that she gave me to think.
It's true that i'm overthinking, i would wish to be drunk all the time, to do not understand anything, cause, out of the fact that we were dating since 3 months (it's a record for me), and her friends used to call me her boyfriend or that she was in a relationship... what scares me is how nowadays relationship can burn easily.

We can think that i do something wrong.. but we can even think that she met someone else... who knows, anyway i showed her i was interested, she does just a bit; she couldn't have doubts if she's not stupid, and she is not.
I never make her run for me, i remember well that i always said "no problem, we have not to run" if she had a problem.. but just cause i was thinking that i'm maybe a good looking and kind guy, so thing can be good.

I get attached easily, i can't be cold to do not get interested on someone i'm meeting for 3 months. And so everytime i'm the stupid, clubbed, dog that is suffering while girls probably is having fun. Lol, probably i have to be like charlie harper.

Then about the "She was a friend" "she wanna be nice and talk", we hadn't sex yeah, so for someone it wasn't even a relationship, but we were dating for a relationship, don't fool with this, come on.
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#34

Postby jan^^ » Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:50 am

Guess what? wrote:I wanna know where i did wrong... i wanna see the finger pointing the exact moment where i did wrong; cause if i seemed a little bitter, it's just after that she gave me to think.
What seems to happen is that your desperation (desperate for a solid, reliable, 'real' relationship with a woman) is picked up by the 'girlfriend' either at the very beginning (in which case she plays on it until she either gets bored or gets better gifts or your gifts run out or aren't worth it any more for her), or, the girlfriend is genuinely interested you but then picks up on your desperation and finds it unattractive and cools off, at which point your reaction to being "cooled off" also reeks of desperation & emotional instability and that further causes her to decide to distance herself from you.

There you go, there's the truth for you in one (terrible) sentence.
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#35

Postby Guess what? » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:33 am

Sure I'm not perfect... but i never expected much from her. Just wishing that we can care a little bit each other. Though i started to see that i was falling in for her, while she was going away.
Since she was rejecting often my invites, sure she's not interested anymore; even if i just thought she hasn't time, since she has job trouble.

Still miss her; her esuberant way to do things, and her being solar... but well, probably i was not enough for her... i can't blame.. i was thinking to write to her and saying that i'm sorry that things went in this way.. but probably is better let this down

Thanks for your help guys, anyway, it may not seem but i appreciate it
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#36

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:58 am

Guess what? wrote: i was thinking to write to her and saying that i'm sorry that things went in this way.. but probably is better let this down


Let it go. All writing her will do is reinforce to her that she made a good decision to end the relationship.
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#37

Postby Guess what? » Fri Jan 18, 2019 1:15 am

Anyway i missed the point untill now
I have just slept only 4 hours, i dreamed at her and, everytime, when i try to sleep (or in the morning when i wake up) i think at her... this is destroying me, and i don't understand how to put her away from my head..
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#38

Postby Candid » Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:18 am

Guess what? wrote:I don't care if someone thinks that it's offensive; on facts i put money, head and heart on these; in the other side there was nothing.


Did no one ever teach you that you don't give in order to get? When it comes to relationship, as opposed to a business transaction or purchase, you give because you want to give... because it feels good. If it doesn't feel good to you, it won't feel good to the recipient, as your experiences with women have shown.

It's not that i wanna buy her -_- ... but sure this annoyed me, but more it hurts because once again i resulted nothing for someone while i was giving all myself.


I can only advise that if it hurt you -- and I'm aware this has happened more than once in your life -- don't do it again. Don't give gifts if you're going to feel bad about getting nothing back. It's very simple.

I wanna know where i did wrong... i wanna see the finger pointing the exact moment where i did wrong...


I have been telling you where you keep going wrong, in all my posts on this thread. And what do you do in response? You tell me I'm wrong about you, that you weren't giving in order to get, then write yet another post about you "giving" things such as your time and your patience and getting nothing back. I am saying to you that the "girl" gave her time, too, and that eventually her patience ran out. She was attracted to you at the start, and kept hoping you would show yourself to be relationship material. And just as you have done in this thread, you continued to keep pushing the same button (gifts and dinners) even though it clearly wasn't working.

Because I am a woman who enjoys women's company, and listens to what they/we have to say, I know that after three months she was disappointed, too. No woman goes into a romantic relationship thinking: "I'll have dinners and flowers for a couple of months then move on." Age-appropriate women are looking for a partner, possibly the father of future children, but above all someone they/we can talk to, someone who understands. You can be grateful this one (and previous ones) have chosen not to waste more of their time and yours, because in your posts on the forum you have demonstrated that you can't or won't or simply don't learn from mistakes.

I get attached easily...


I can see that, but your attachment is very shallow -- and what comes across is neediness; I can feel it from here. Since you're unable to grasp what I'm telling you about your 'romantic' efforts, I'm not going to get into your relationship with your mother... and that you're probably trying to put the cart before the horse.

everytime i'm the stupid, clubbed, dog that is suffering while girls probably is having fun.


I agree you're like "the stupid, clubbed dog" -- the one that can't be taught.

we hadn't sex yeah, so for someone it wasn't even a relationship, but we were dating for a relationship, don't fool with this, come on.


I'm not fooling with this; you are. You say girls have fun at your expense. Why are you not having fun, and why are you buying gifts and dinners?

Once again: she was at least as serious about this as you were, waiting for you to calm down and show her whether you were the kind of companion she wanted to spend years with. You showed her the opposite: an unsustainable "relationship" based on you giving -- and resenting it.
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#39

Postby Guess what? » Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:43 pm

I was not saying giving my all in sense of money, but time, energy and attention

I liked her and i was happy to do that things, but when she throw you away like garbage, you can't feel anything but being stupid
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#40

Postby Guess what? » Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:47 pm

Candid wrote:
Once again: she was at least as serious about this as you were, waiting for you to calm down and show her whether you were the kind of companion she wanted to spend years with. You showed her the opposite: an unsustainable "relationship" based on you giving -- and resenting it.


Yeah of course :\
They are always the poor innocent and pure creatures
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#41

Postby Candid » Sat Jan 19, 2019 12:26 pm

Guess what? wrote:... when she throw you away like garbage, you can't feel anything but being stupid


You're talking about your own experience and making it global. It isn't. If someone lets me down I don't feel stupid, I just think that person let me down. IOW it isn't about me, it's about them.

Guess what? wrote:They are always the poor innocent and pure creatures


This is facetious, and shows what you really think of women.

You need to feel better about yourself (eg. NOT "stupid" -- unless of course you are) and better about women before you try to start a relationship with one. Otherwise you're going to keep making these clumsy approaches and being rejected.
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#42

Postby lol4er » Tue Jan 22, 2019 6:31 pm

tiredness all the time is one of depression signs
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#43

Postby Guess what? » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:38 pm

lol4er wrote:tiredness all the time is one of depression signs


i have depression, who wouldn't in this case?
Anyway i just saw a her pic where she was on the legs of another guy. I think he's the same who she did a story on last year eve... now her change have a sense, i don't understand how people can use you like a trash bag.

Candid wrote:This is facetious, and shows what you really think of women.


I don't know what fecetious means, and i understood what you think about this.. but it is not that every single woman out there is always justified, innocent and working for the good of the world.

Maybe she choose another dude cause he's more cute, taller o richer? Well, here we are, that i'm tired of this.
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#44

Postby Candid » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:14 am

Guess what? wrote: it is not that every single woman out there is always justified, innocent and working for the good of the world.


No indeed, but that isn't the point here. By your own report you're doing badly in the relationship stakes. Other men are doing better. So this is about you, not about the women you're choosing.

Maybe she choose another dude cause he's more cute, taller o richer?


Of course. Why wouldn't she? Why wouldn't anyone... including you? Dating is about finding out what you want in a partner. If a better match comes along it makes sense to bail out.

Well, here we are, that i'm tired of this.


I'm not surprised. You've been giving women flowers and dinners, and it hasn't worked. It's time to review your tactics so you don't keep banging your head against a brick wall. But reviewing your tactics seems to be beyond you.

You've asked for advice, and I've told you what I think, while you keep replying "no, that's not it". I'm not going to bang my head against this particular brick wall any longer. Like the women you 'love' and lose, I'm going to leave you to it.
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