Anxiety and Compulsive thoughts

Postby Herazim » Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:04 am

I don't know exactly in which section to post this but I think it has to do with anxiety.

Some background on myself, I have been suffering from Anxiety for some years now, it was always hard for me to do the simplest things like talking to others because of anxiety, to work anxiety and well just anxiety in general regarding most things that involve other people.

Recently I realized I also have some anger issues which I don't know if they come from the anxiety or it's something entirely separate.

Even though my anxiety can be crippling at times, I usually find ways to get it in check and go about my daily business, I can't do that anymore.

And now on to the main problem, I have very compulsive thoughts and this is the reason why I don't know if this is the right section.

Extremely compulsive thoughts, I worry compulsively, I get angry compulsively, I am anxious compulsively. The thoughts become overwhelming and I get caught up in them to the point where they last for hours.

I have been like this for years as I previously stated but it's been way worse for some time now, I got into a relationship and for some reason my girlfriend triggers everything in me. I was a pretty closed off person most of my life, as in I kept my personal life to myself, never really had a serious relationship before this one. And now I feel like I can't cope with myself when I'm around her.

I get triggered by what she says, does and it even goes to the point where I just think I know what she thinks and get triggered by that, and by this I mostly mean that I feel judged, this has been an issue with my anxiety, I feel judged by others and it's hard to be myself around them.

Because I feel judged by her I get anxious, I get angry because I can't be myself or because she can't be as "she should be" according to my thoughts. A lot of times I just give up doing things because I already feel judged and don't want to actually see it happen, so I stay passive out of fear of something that might happen or go wrong.

It's hard for me to talk to her because I can't tell where my anxiety starts and where I come in. I don't act out these thoughts and emotions because I am aware they are irrational and I do not want to make it hard for her because of my issues. But this also consumes me because I can't talk out of fear of not harming her. It's a self fueling cycle and I don't know how to end it.

How do I stop obsessing over what she thinks of me ? I know it's irrational but I can't stop it just by knowing.

I want this relationship to work and in order for that to happen in a healthy way I have to solve my issues, or at least to the point where I don't obsess over nothing hours on end.
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Postby chaidragonfire » Sun Jan 13, 2019 5:46 pm

You should see a psychologist, or at the very least a mental health counselor.

As I am a complete stranger to you, I would be no help, as I am no professional.

What I can tell you though, is I have been a psychology novice since as far back as I can remember, and I've learned a lot about people and society and they way they think and act. And as a result, I have been able to help out two or three friends who have had major anxiety issues in their lives.

For your issue, I will say this seems to have stemmed from one anxiety issue and "snowballed" into something huge and dangerous to yourself. Anxieties that are allowed to fester and take on other anxieties and create new ones, are something that needs to be dealt with asap.

For your understanding of yourself and your own issues, you have to find out what the base cause of your original anxiety or anxieties is. Once you find out what the root cause/causes are, then you can start to understand and figure out how to best deal with it. And once you find out the root cause/causes, then a lot of your other "built up" anxieties will start to disappear.

Usually, anxieties stem from things you are afraid to deal with, afraid to face, or something that frustrates you because you don't understand whats going on, or understand the concept of something as it relates to you.

And in order for you to dig down and find out what root cause/causes you have in your life that have you anxiety ridden, you will need an outside entity to help you figure these out. So speaking to a mental health professional can hopefully give you insights into whats bothering you to the extent you have all of these issues popping up.

And if you don't feel you can do it for yourself, do it for your girlfriend, your friends, your family.
It can be hard on them to see someone they love having such issues.

I hope that helps.
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