1 year weed free!

#15

Postby thegreatdane » Sat Jan 19, 2019 10:41 pm

I really truly hope and believe it will. Im just tired of having expectations. Its like no matter what it just doesnt get better. Ill just try not to think about it, and whatever happens happens i guess.
thegreatdane
Junior Member
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:41 pm
Likes Received: 23


#16

Postby Robb1e_g » Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:15 pm

nice job on the one year man! I had made a post about a month ago maybe saying how im just about completely healed from my withdrawal. I was about the same age for my addiction, im 20 now and about 1 year and 2 months clean. Ever since i started college though, my anxiety and some dp/dr came back again. I believe its completely normal to have anxiety and feel lonely and stressed when starting college at this age but i can tell i still have work to do withdrawal wise. the most annoying yet scary symptom for me is once in awhile ill have awful intrusive thoughts hit me and sometimes i feel like i dont know who i am and start questioning life and everything. wish i could just not have done drugs in the firest place but we are all learning from it. Luckily, i believe after 2 years most of us will be pretty much completely healed. but i am so much stronger now than i was before and im closer to god than ever before and i have a new appreciation for life. just still have more work to do. good luck guys keep pushing on, theres a reason for a pain and a lesson to be learned.
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41

#17

Postby Robb1e_g » Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:21 pm

however, there is hope. for about a whole month and a half before starting college, i was completely symptom free. one of the only things holding me back probably is the fact of how messed up i was the day of quitting because i had had a bad trip on lsd. i really do believe this made everything so much worse mentally for me. i might have a mild case of ptsd from it and its where most of the intrusive thoughts and dr/pr come from. but i think the weed had a major role in it as well bevause it seems all of you suffer the same symptoms that i had to deal with. either way, you will come through to the other side i promise. i was as hopeless as i could be and yet i pulled through. again, still struggles here and there, but you need to keep giving it time, god works on a time table.
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41

#18

Postby Astro413 » Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:30 pm

Robbi3 I’m in my junior year of college and I can tell you that those feelings are absolutely normal for new kids in college being away from home and your family, friends, etc. for the first time but once you start getting into the return of things you’ll meet people and make new friends and after a year or so you won’t even want to go home. I am disappointed however to hear that you had not completely recovered from paws like you originally thought. Although having a total month and a half of normaility should signify you are close of this board Ahmad taught us anything. That being said, what are your current symptoms? And yes everything should cure with time, at least that’s what I’m holding on to.
Astro413
Junior Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:47 pm
Likes Received: 32

#19

Postby Astro413 » Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:31 pm

Astro413 wrote:Robbi3 I’m in my junior year of college and I can tell you that those feelings are absolutely normal for new kids in college being away from home and your family, friends, etc. for the first time but once you start getting into the return of things you’ll meet people and make new friends and after a year or so you won’t even want to go home. I am disappointed however to hear that you had not completely recovered from paws like you originally thought. Although having a total month and a half of normaility should signify you are close of this board Ahmad taught us anything. That being said, what are your current symptoms? And yes everything should cure with time, at least that’s what I’m holding on to.

Just wanted to make sure you saw my previous post
Astro413
Junior Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:47 pm
Likes Received: 32

#20

Postby Astro413 » Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:31 pm

Robb1e_g wrote:however, there is hope. for about a whole month and a half before starting college, i was completely symptom free. one of the only things holding me back probably is the fact of how messed up i was the day of quitting because i had had a bad trip on lsd. i really do believe this made everything so much worse mentally for me. i might have a mild case of ptsd from it and its where most of the intrusive thoughts and dr/pr come from. but i think the weed had a major role in it as well bevause it seems all of you suffer the same symptoms that i had to deal with. either way, you will come through to the other side i promise. i was as hopeless as i could be and yet i pulled through. again, still struggles here and there, but you need to keep giving it time, god works on a time table.

Try that again
Astro413
Junior Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:47 pm
Likes Received: 32

#21

Postby Robb1e_g » Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:38 pm

What’s up Astro, yeah you’re completely right, however I believe the thoughts and feelings I’m having are more attributed to PAWS and not being used to handling normal life experiences very well yet since being high constantly for over a year really messed with my life, I basically wasn’t even living. It’s sad really, but I got myself into that mess and I can get myself out. The thing is I’m completely alone and am able to handle these feelings and completely forget about them for large amounts of time as opposed to the beginning where I was holding my moms hand crying curled up in a ball. I have come so far and am so much stronger. Maybe it was the stress of such a big change that triggered it to come back some again. But I need to go through this to become stronger and get rid of this withdrawal once and for all. I have the mental strength and will power to pull through. Because I know it can be done. We all can do it. The main symptoms I’m having are just getting stuck in my head and random feelings of panic and desperation, intrusive thoughts, feeling kind of pointless and asking existential questions, again partly because I’m far away alone at college and stressed out. I will be okay though
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41

#22

Postby thegreatdane » Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:56 pm

Great to hear things are going better for you Robbie. I wish i could say the same. I have had my "good days" but its never more than one day and now for the past 14 days i have been REALLY DEPRESSED. I have been extremely low on energy, sad, unmotivated. Yeah you name it. Im tired of seeing some people say: "you just have to change your lifestyle", "get out of your comfort zone". IM DOING ALL THAT. Im living a healthy lifestyle, i try and socialise. But paws is always there and it has changed me to a negative depressed person. Sorry for the negativity, but this paws wave has hit me hard and my mind is questioning if this it it. Maybe paws has just triggered a depression.. I dont know. See you guys at 13 months. And again, congratz on those of you who are feeling better. You guys deserve it man. Sometimes its just like the universe wants to see me down. Its like everything good i do just plateu and messes me up.
thegreatdane
Junior Member
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:41 pm
Likes Received: 23

#23

Postby Robb1e_g » Sun Jan 20, 2019 11:45 pm

Hey greatdane, you said you smoked for three years? I smoked for only one although very intense stuff, but everyone’s body chemistry is different. The only thing that really help is more time. It’s hard to accept but it’s the best healer. And it’s not really as much about changing your lifestyle as it is changing your mindset. Because just doing nothing and waiting for things to happen won’t work you have to also put in effort which I believe you do and I believe you have probably made at least some recovery so far if you compare to the beginning of your withdrawal. What really helped me was finding what I truly believe in which is God and Jesus and constantly reinforced my thinking and neutralizing any negative thoughts until I made progress. Every time you feel like the world is against you, find everything to be thankful for, when you’re fearing the worst, fear nothing. Keep pushing and fighting for who you are. Own who you are and own your circumstance. PAWS is literally the body mind and spirit rebalancing itself. You won’t be able to see outside of the woods until you’re out. This is where trust and faith come into action, when you are blind to your senses.
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41

#24

Postby HopefulMe » Mon Jan 21, 2019 8:31 pm

Robb1e_g wrote:Hey greatdane, you said you smoked for three years? I smoked for only one although very intense stuff, but everyone’s body chemistry is different. The only thing that really help is more time. It’s hard to accept but it’s the best healer. And it’s not really as much about changing your lifestyle as it is changing your mindset. Because just doing nothing and waiting for things to happen won’t work you have to also put in effort which I believe you do and I believe you have probably made at least some recovery so far if you compare to the beginning of your withdrawal. What really helped me was finding what I truly believe in which is God and Jesus and constantly reinforced my thinking and neutralizing any negative thoughts until I made progress. Every time you feel like the world is against you, find everything to be thankful for, when you’re fearing the worst, fear nothing. Keep pushing and fighting for who you are. Own who you are and own your circumstance. PAWS is literally the body mind and spirit rebalancing itself. You won’t be able to see outside of the woods until you’re out. This is where trust and faith come into action, when you are blind to your senses.

Did your waves ever get almost as bad as the beginning when you were coming up to the year? Did you feel more like yourself after every wave and when the waves would lift? I think that even when people heal or feel way better they are still sensitive to stress which makes PAWS kinda pop in?
HopefulMe
Junior Member
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2018 5:32 pm
Likes Received: 4

#25

Postby Robb1e_g » Mon Jan 21, 2019 9:02 pm

HopefulMe you hit the nail on the head. There had been waves where it felt like I was pretty much at the beginning of it again, it can be frightening sometimes, but like I said you get 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards most of the time. Sometimes it feels like you keep going backwards but that’s when you need to remind you that healing is in the process. It’s like building muscle (I’m an avid lifter and in school for physical therapy) in order to grow your muscle you need to tear the muscle fibers down and it hurts for a few days, but when they heal they are more dense and stronger, they grow.
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41

#26

Postby HopefulMe » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:15 pm

Robb1e_g wrote:HopefulMe you hit the nail on the head. There had been waves where it felt like I was pretty much at the beginning of it again, it can be frightening sometimes, but like I said you get 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards most of the time. Sometimes it feels like you keep going backwards but that’s when you need to remind you that healing is in the process. It’s like building muscle (I’m an avid lifter and in school for physical therapy) in order to grow your muscle you need to tear the muscle fibers down and it hurts for a few days, but when they heal they are more dense and stronger, they grow.

Yeah at the ending of my 8 month I started to feel kind of like the beginning but in a weird way a bit more like myself? N yeah until I hit 10 months it was like that. Kinda like the anxiety resembling the beginning. The waves were pretty bad almost like the beginning but not? Then after 10 month mark I felt uneasy but again a bit like myself then like the night before lastnight it was really bad almost like the beginning and last night was pretty awful too. But it's like I feel a bit more like myself and I'm trying to hold on to that. I didnt know the waves could get that bad again bc I have never been through anything like this in my life. I think the reassurance helps me and now that I feel a bit more like myself it helps me a bit more also it's like my brain is starting acknowledge that these are symptoms and it's not me? I'm not really going crazy? Thank you for answering me!
HopefulMe
Junior Member
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2018 5:32 pm
Likes Received: 4

#27

Postby Robb1e_g » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:23 pm

Everything you described is completely normal man, it’s hard not to fear it but you need realize it. Because it has been the hardest time of my life. I was out of the woods for about a month or so and then it triggered up again because I just started college before being completely healed, also stay away from caffeine nicotine and any alcohol, it will not help
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41

#28

Postby HopefulMe » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:49 pm

Robb1e_g wrote:Everything you described is completely normal man, it’s hard not to fear it but you need realize it. Because it has been the hardest time of my life. I was out of the woods for about a month or so and then it triggered up again because I just started college before being completely healed, also stay away from caffeine nicotine and any alcohol, it will not help

Thank you. You have helped me out so much! Yeah I stay away from anything and everything. I did that sh** bc I fell into the whole its "medicine" bs. I did it for I think 3 and a half to almost 4 years? Cant remember especially right now. But I know a little over 3 years for sure. Anyway yeah I'm scared to even take otc painkillers. So I have delt with some really terrible headaches and the "time of the month" it wasnt until I just couldnt take it that I would take some aleve (ibuprofen). Is the wave you're going through a hard one? Yeah you're still sensitive to stress. I have read that stress makes things worse. I'm sure you have more confidence now that you definitely know that it's going to go away. I'm rooting for you for everyone here....and for myself. I havent been very kind to myself. Especially in the beginning months. I felt ashamed and stupid and felt like I should have known better. But it is what it is.
HopefulMe
Junior Member
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2018 5:32 pm
Likes Received: 4

#29

Postby Robb1e_g » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:59 pm

HopefulMe you definitely need to focus on loving yourself and being kind to yourself. You only have one you and this is such a hard thing you’re going through. And yeah day 2 of college was a scary wave. Unfortunately my waves consist of anxiety, some dizziness and feeling very weak, sense of despair and life doesn’t make sense to me, awful intrusive thoughts, stuck in my head, feeling pointless and kinda hopeless. Yeah it sucks. But like I said I’m getting better with it. And I’ve had many occasions and long periods of time where I felt content with myself and loved life with wonder again. So I know it will be okay. And you will too. So will everybody in this forum. It’s not forever, that’s an irrational thought, although it does seem like you’re doomed in the moment trust me I know. And that’s okay I feel like I hate myself sometimes, again pet of the process. I’ve never had any of these thoughts or feelings prior to weed or trying lsd. So be kind to yourself, practice thankfulness and being in the moment, and time will heal.
Robb1e_g
Junior Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:31 am
Likes Received: 41


PreviousNext

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions