toughing up

Postby 123Kick » Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:58 pm

A little bit of a back story, I just finished almost five years of university and got my first job. I've Never been a social character so work environment is really new to me. So far its going well I'm making a nice income and I've made friends which is nice. Some co-workers seem really stressed out and angry. I'm unsure of what they are angry about but their anger is definitely being projected onto me. I know this because at the start I would make small mistakes (which i apologised for and corrected immediately) and my manager would lose it. Never been screamed at before like that. I felt the back of my throat dry up (the mistakes were nothing major). I don't take the piss and do an unprofessional job either (some co-workers just half-ass the job). At first I thought he only lost it like he did because he thought I was just being lazy but he's just an angry manager. It's draining. Coworkers seem really stressed, at our break they invited me to play this game on ours phones and just scalded me. They told me that they could do anything better than me, that I was lazy and have lost my mind. I didn't go on my break with them the next day. Anyways, I need a way to toughen up. The stuff they say does get to me and I start to question myself.

I've read a few articles on physiological scaffolding and seems like a good way to start. What are extremely simple and small ways that anyone can do to ignore what they say asides from moving away from them. Their are times where I have to be near them. I realise I have a choice to stop working there (have contemplated leaving several times) and find somewhere else however, I think I can handle it with some changes. Are there any other ways that you know that would improve my circumstances? If I'm being honest with myself, I've had low self-esteem for most of my life which I'm trying to raise. Anyways, let me know.

Thank you,
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Postby Candid » Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:34 am

The answer to your question is there in the last lines. You have low self-esteem. Other people whose own self-esteem isn't that great can sense that, and they'll keep rattling you in order to make themselves feel superior. (This of course doesn't work, which is why they have to keep doing it.)

It's not about toughening up so you can go on taking bad treatment, it's about raising your self-esteem so people stop picking on you.

The manager is not a good manager. Losing his temper to the extent of screaming at a new employee is weakness, not strength.

So... you've walked into a place where most if not all the workers are feeling bad about themselves. If you can feel a whole lot better about yourself, either the situation will change or you'll find a better situation elsewhere.
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