I will do it.

Postby Gh0st » Thu Feb 07, 2019 4:34 pm

Hello everyone,

I'm new on here, been here before when trying to quit, but I have spent the last 15 years of my life trying to convince myself I'm "normal" and I can have a smoke if i want to.

But is it normal to be addicted to a substance?

F**cking sick of people trying to tell me its all in my head and most people don't have a problem with it..

Bull ***t!

If its every day then you have a problem, whether you like to admit this to yourself or not.

My normal habits are smoking from when i get home from work at 5.30pm, untill when i go to bed at 12.30am, usually getting through about 2g or £20's worth of the highest grade crap i can find.

Always still stoned when i wake up, untill about 10.30am then i come out of the haze if i'm working hard.

Yesterday I stayed at home, i didn't want to go out with my smoking buddies, even tho a long-lost stoner pal has just moved back to my hometown, i just dont wanna be a stoner anymore, it makes me sad to say this but i know it's true.

I have this weird sense...that something is coming for me, like some part of me that won't give up is saying, right then matey, lets get out of this hell-hole, i dont know if its connected but its been since my grandad passed away.

I know I've got to do it.

My heart races when I think of the pain that I know I will feel.

Half excitement, to be free...
Half panic from even thinking about losing my crutch.

The question is when...says my brain.

But I know the time is now.

Problem for me is that I keep finding some sort of enjoyment from smoking, this has always been my way, I tell myself i have nothing else to live for, which is very damaging to me.

I had some sort of social anxiety issue when I started, so that doesn't help.

So i guess im sick of beating myself up for smoking it.

Then beating myself up for being weak, to make sure I do smoke it.

All my sh** is going tonight.

Tomorrow will be day one.

Any comments or suggestions are welcome, especially for supplements or food good for the physical chemical detox that will ensue.

Thank you to every single person on here for every single post, i have read most of them, very insipred by ade...

I will get there...

Ben.
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#1

Postby HDog455 » Fri Feb 08, 2019 1:51 am

Hey Gh0st, it's been a while since I last interacted with this forum but I logged in this morning and saw your post. Your situation is very much like mine just before I quit smoking pot cold turkey. But unlike you, I was no longer getting any enjoyment from my 30-year daily habit.

I believe that my father passing away and being diagnosed with having high blood pressure were the two things that pushed me over the edge to a successful quit with no subsequent relapses. But the main contributing factor was the eventual and total lack of enjoyment from smoking weed. As a result, it was then really quite easy for me as opposed to previous experiences when my dealer would run out of supply and I would be climbing the walls after two days of forced abstinence.

I always maintain that quitting will be an uphill battle if you're still enjoying a smoke. If you can get to the point where pot truly becomes your worst enemy then you'll be surprised by how much easier it will be to quit for good. Apart from that the usual lifestyle changes from getting plenty of exercise and a healthy diet are also very important. All the best.
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#2

Postby Gh0st » Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:07 pm

Thanks Hdog, I know what you mean about it being your worst enemy.

I feel like ive passed that point actually or arriving there now. It is my worst enemy right now. I hate it with a passion.

The thing I cant let go of is my freinds/family that smoke it.

The people I've lost though from being the way I am, the opportunities I've missed from being this way, I can't ever forgive weed for that...

This is just an example, but I really want to do loads of things in my life, find somebody, maybe have kids one day, I have many things that i would love to do.
I just can't stay off it enough to do any of them, its holding me back.

I can stay off it to get myself to work. Its been that way for at least 15 years solid.

Problem is, I get withdrawal symptoms every single day, stress, anxiety, depression, no appetite, smoking cigarretes, generally being an nobhead to most ppl.

What surprises me is how it helps you to become such awful person.

Addiction will do this to anybody givem chance i suppose..

I had like a quarter left yesterday, i couldn't finish it, theres a bit left, when that runs out im determined i'm not going to buy any.

Wish me luck guys im gonna need it :/
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#3

Postby HDog455 » Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:36 am

Gh0st wrote:
I had like a quarter left yesterday, i couldn't finish it, theres a bit left, when that runs out im determined i'm not going to buy any.

Wish me luck guys im gonna need it :/


If I had a dollar for every time I promised that when my stash was finished I would quit, I would now be a millionaire. That is one of the most insidious things about being high - it makes you overconfident about the future. Of course, all of those promises are totally forgotten (or at least ignored) the next morning when you wake up and there is nothing left to smoke.

Please don't take this the wrong way but I reckon that you are still a long way from being able to quit for more than a couple of days at most. You need to start making the hard decisions now. Do as much as possible to distance yourself from people and situations that involve pot smoking - that is not going to be easy but it has to be done.

Ask your friends and family to please respect your decision to quit and refrain from smoking when you are around. If this is not feasible then your challenge is going to be more uphill as a result.

There is so much more advice that I can offer based on my own and friend's experiences but I try to avoid writing long posts because most people will only read the first couple of paragraphs. You may wish to go back over my previous material on this forum. It's been more than 10 years since I touched weed - I am totally confident that what I did to successfully quit cold turkey is a winning recipe for success.
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#4

Postby Gh0st » Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:05 am

Not having a great start, i smoked all my stash, then got to bed for 9pm.

Up at 7.30 off to work, i should mention i work on cars? I hate telling people im a mechanic haha!

I am doing something a bit silly, nobody has noticed but im not eating untill ive quit.

Call me crazy but was Ghandi crazy?

I don't know what else to do to break it

Thanks for the help guys...
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#5

Postby Gh0st » Sat Feb 09, 2019 4:54 pm

Okay so quick update, i'm going to eat something in about an hour.

Sweating like hell, my sweat smells like weed which isn't helping..

Currently listening to some music and smoking too many cigarretes but im feeling my stregnth building at the moment.

I'm going to be so angry with myself if i slip.

Thank God for this forum.
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#6

Postby Gh0st » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:53 pm

I did smoke last night, I gave in.
I smoked some more this morning too as there was some left.
My stoner friends are ringing me and want me to go round, the only thing I would normally do is get more weed and go and have a smoke.
It makes me feel so sad to be back at square one, so quuckly :(
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#7

Postby HDog455 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:56 pm

You need to follow my advice and make the necessary lifestyle changes. All you’re doing is going around in circles.
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#8

Postby tokeless » Sun Feb 10, 2019 9:12 pm

Gh0st wrote:I did smoke last night, I gave in.
I smoked some more this morning too as there was some left.
My stoner friends are ringing me and want me to go round, the only thing I would normally do is get more weed and go and have a smoke.
It makes me feel so sad to be back at square one, so quuckly :(


Sounds like the would should conflict. You should stop but would like to keep smoking. I don't sense any commitment really just hope your willpower is enough. It probably isn't. You need to, as advised by HDog sack your friends for a while or ask them to support you by not smoking around you. Get busy or occupied in other things.. Commit and choose not to smoke because it is a choice and you're choosing to give in. It is possible to stop but you must want to more than to stay as you are.
Best wishes
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#9

Postby HDog455 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 9:41 pm

Gh0st wrote:I did smoke last night, I gave in.
I smoked some more this morning too as there was some left.
My stoner friends are ringing me and want me to go round, the only thing I would normally do is get more weed and go and have a smoke.
It makes me feel so sad to be back at square one, so quuckly :(


Don't beat yourself up about being back at square one - you didn't even get to square two. And sorry about my last somewhat abrupt post - I was in a hurry to be somewhere but wanted to say something to you in any case.

tokeless is spot on about getting busy with other things. For me any many other successful quitters it was about doing things not associated with smoking pot like reading a book or, as previously mentioned, doing some strenuous exercise. It's also very much about where your head is at.

A lot of aspiring quitters spend too much time moaning and groaning and feeling sorry for themselves when the withdrawal symptoms kick in. Whatever you do don't go there - think of every day of abstinence as a massive achievement that you are extremely proud of.

Learn to enjoy the simple and natural things in life like a lovely sunny morning or a healthy meal that you have cooked yourself. In a previous post you said, "Wish me luck". Well, I will never do that because Luck has nothing to do with quitting your addiction. Change, permanent change for the better is the key to success.
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#10

Postby Gh0st » Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:12 pm

Thank you for your replies!

It makes me feel alot better knowing I can get some support from here.

My head needs to be in a better place and I need to do this in a positive way, rather than just punishing myself into..well..nothing at all really...

I guess it will take more time, more patience, and more practice to get there, and definetely a different approach to it.

I'm going to make smaller changes, in place for when I do quit, so I have more focus and direction.

After that much smoking I guess it's not going to be quite that easy....

Thanks again for the help...

Ben.
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#11

Postby HDog455 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:57 pm

Gh0st wrote:Thank you for your replies!

It makes me feel alot better knowing I can get some support from here.

My head needs to be in a better place and I need to do this in a positive way, rather than just punishing myself into..well..nothing at all really...

I guess it will take more time, more patience, and more practice to get there, and definetely a different approach to it.

I'm going to make smaller changes, in place for when I do quit, so I have more focus and direction.

After that much smoking I guess it's not going to be quite that easy....

Thanks again for the help...

Ben.


Remember that a lot of us were addicts for a lot longer than you (30 years for me) and we were able to quit, so don't think of it that way. In reality, there is probably not a whole lot of difference between one year of addiction and fifteen.

Let's try something, Ben. Don't post on here again until you have not smoked for 72 hours. Otherwise, there is probably no point because there is little or nothing that we have not already said that can help you in the short term.

It's totally your challenge - not ours. In the past, I have had discussions on this forum about all of the sympathy that is given to addicts who are struggling to make any headway. IMHO I don't believe that sympathy helps anyone - it only helps them to justify feeling sorry for themselves.

When it comes to drug addiction I'm an advocate of "Tough Love" and I have proven more than once that it is far more effective in helping people help themselves.
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