Un-hypnotizable?

#15

Postby Candid » Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:41 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:You have a strong sense of self, a strong sense of self-agency


You flatter me, sir. And my hat. :P
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#16

Postby questioneverything » Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:57 pm

Some years ago, I saw a CBT who used a combination of things for my insomnia. Never completed my work with her after my wife objected to the techniques being used. Bottom line, I never found out if that would have worked for me or not. I'm thinking there is no one single cause for the condition and maybe no one single solution.
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#17

Postby Candid » Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:35 am

Is your wife an expert?
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#18

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:06 pm

I guess you are lucky that your wife didn't object to hypnosis.
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#19

Postby questioneverything » Wed Apr 08, 2020 1:17 pm

It's been my experience that one need not have any professional credentials in order to feel entitled to an opinion (ask any politician). In the case described above, my wife made such a big stink about the kind of treatment I was getting that the situation simply became intolerable, and I had to eventually stop treatment, or constantly be fighting with her about it.

Btw, I like the hat too.

@Richard: Who ever said she didn't object to hypnosis?
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#20

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Apr 08, 2020 1:30 pm

questioneverything wrote:@Richard: Who ever said she didn't object to hypnosis?


It was sarcasm.
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#21

Postby Candid » Wed Apr 08, 2020 3:08 pm

questioneverything wrote:my wife made such a big stink about the kind of treatment I was getting that the situation simply became intolerable


If you yourself had found it helpful, I venture to suggest you would have stayed with it but not discussed it with your wife.

BTW: I have better hats. Watch this space.
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#22

Postby questioneverything » Wed Apr 08, 2020 3:29 pm

Not discussed it? Seriously?
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#23

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Apr 09, 2020 12:23 am

questioneverything wrote:Not discussed it? Seriously?


Uh...yes. That is a reasonable possibility.

You don’t discuss everything with your wife, right? You discuss things that might impact her or things she might find of interest.

How was CBT impacting her life? It is your struggle with insomnia. Was the behavior part of the therapy negatively impacting her life? How so?

It’s like you choosing a diet. Maybe your partner is critical of the diet, but it’s your body, your health. Unless there is some factor that impacts her, eg cost of the diet cutting into joint finances or suddenly you’re smelling like rotten eggs all the time, then there is really no need to discontinue.

So yes, seriously...there are things you might not discuss or get approval for from a significant other. Generally speaking that would include therapies for insomnia or participation in hypnosis or CBT.
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#24

Postby questioneverything » Thu Apr 09, 2020 12:54 pm

Well, of course there is no way you could know how our relationship works just from the few comments I've made here. If you knew her (or me for that matter), you'd understand the dilemma. As far as the diet analogy goes, been there, done that with her.

The only really salient point here is that she was in fact aware of the therapy, and she made her feelings on the subject known. The rest is after-the-fact would'a, could'a, should'a.
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#25

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Apr 09, 2020 1:19 pm

questioneverything wrote:The only really salient point here is that she was in fact aware of the therapy, and she made her feelings on the subject known. The rest is after-the-fact would'a, could'a, should'a.


It is not after the fact. It is present. You’re insomnia is still present, correct? You’re still looking for a solution, correct?

You can try CBT.

That in the past you coulda, shoulda, woulda, does not dictate today.

You didn’t answer my question regarding how CBT impacted her life. You just elude to the “trust you” that IF we understood your relationship then it would make sense.

Well, it doesn’t make sense unless you are so submissive up to including sacrificing your health because she has an opinion.
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#26

Postby questioneverything » Thu Apr 09, 2020 3:56 pm

CBT was the source of the original argument, but thanks for the suggestion.

I didn't answer the question because how it impacts her life is a personal matter, and I hope you will understand if I leave it at that. And I have little to suggest the problem wouldn't pop up again if I were to pursue that treatment. She and I can't even discuss it without getting into an argument. Surely you can see where that would undermine any treatment option. In that vein, it does at least impact, if not dictate today.

Anyway, this is getting off the topic I was hoping to discuss. I'm thinking we've taken this as far as it can go.
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#27

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Apr 10, 2020 12:19 am

questioneverything wrote:Anyway, this is getting off the topic I was hoping to discuss. I'm thinking we've taken this as far as it can go.


Obviously that is up to you. If you feel like you are not getting any value out of the discussion I understand.

What I find interesting about the discussion is that it is less about the idea that you are "un-hypnotizable" and missing a party and more about the underlying issues you wish to address, e.g. insomnia.

One reason it appears hypnotism is currently an attractive option is that it is potentially "wife friendly". But, that can change and I suspect will change the same as any other form of potential treatment and it really has nothing to do with your wife.

You, in my opinion, are self-handicapping. You sabotage potential solutions. This seems pretty clear when you look at your initial posts. You did not come in here to determine how you might find a solution and be able to use hypnosis. You have already decided that you are "un-hypnotizable". This thread is just an exercise in confirming to yourself what you have already come to believe.
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#28

Postby Candid » Fri Apr 10, 2020 9:36 am

questioneverything wrote: how it impacts her life is a personal matter, and I hope you will understand if I leave it at that.


I certainly do understand, like a great flashing lightbulb above the head.

You can't sleep because your relationship with your wife is the problem, and you really don't want to think about that.
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#29

Postby questioneverything » Fri Apr 10, 2020 12:23 pm

Nice theory, Candid, except I've had the insomnia since I was a kid...well before I ever met her or knew she existed.

Richard, also a nice theory, and it has the advantage of being nearly impossible to disprove (or prove for that matter). I would say that if that was all I was doing, I would hardly need to take the time and trouble to come here to do it.

Ah well, in any case, if either of you celebrate Easter, then have a good one and stay safe and healthy.
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