What is happening to me?

[thegreatdane]

Im making another post because i dont understand why life WANT me to suffer. 13 months and i feel like sh** everyday when i wake up. No energy or anything. SO depressed and tired and anxious. How can it take so long? I feel like i will never be better again. When i FINALLY have a "good" day or "less berable" day it happens for like 13 hours or so, and then im back to this state. Can anyone please share some success stories because if its gonna be like this for 6-12 more months i dont know what im going to do with myself. Im not gonna go back to weed but maybe im gonna take a more drastic way out of this shitty life. It always happens to me these bad things. And i dont know why it happens. 13 months guys. 13 freaking months.

[lefttheleaf]

Hi mate
Are you meditating and exercising?

[thegreatdane]

I am. Im eating healthy too. Its nothing about my lifestyle. Its this healing process that just hates me.

[Cthompson21]

I'm so sorry Dane I PMd you again please respond and let us know you're okay. I'm right there with you buddy. Please know that you're not alone.

[quietvoice]

~
Most likely you are following the cultural norm of ingesting junk several times per day. That has definite effects on well-being.

See these two YouTube channels.

Robert Morse ND

John Rose

[lefttheleaf]

Not sure how that helps this person at all right now (person posting above me).


Greatdane - I feel for you. 13 months is more than double what I have been dealing with so I can imagine its brutal.


Where are you from?

[quietvoice]

Not sure how that helps this person at all right now (person posting above me.

Only he can figure that.

But, here's how it can. One can look at their lifestyle to see what it causing their sometimes immense discomfort. One can then start to become knowledgeable regarding the way to live that eliminates this discomfort, and then proceed from there to incorporate these lifestyle changes.

Onward to Health and The Road to Wellville!!!

[thegreatdane]

Lefttheleaf - I am from Denmark man. Where are you from?

Quietvoice - i have clearly stated that i live a healthy lifestyle. Im so passionate about health, i exercise, lift, eat healthy, meditate, socialise. Its nothing about my lifestyle. Its clearly the same thing as other people on here experience, PAWS. Maybe you should get educated and dont comment that on a person that is suicidal on these days? Thank you.

[quietvoice]

i have clearly stated that i live a healthy lifestyle. Im so passionate about health, i exercise, lift, eat healthy, meditate, socialise.

Okay. I apoligize. I did miss that post where you said that you eat healthy.

That stated, what does "eat healthy" mean to you?

[thegreatdane]

I accept your apology, What do i eat? A healthy balanced diet. I wanted to try and go keto, but instead i just generally keep it kind of low carbish with lots of chicken and fish, and vegatables. I dont eat sugar either(Or i try not to lol).

[Sherwood1999]

Hey greatdane,

First off congrats on 13 months. And secondly I’m very sorry your still suffering most days. I know in the end you’ll make a full recovery. It’s hard. So damn hard. I’m only at 2 1/2 and am suffering so much. But anyways it’s good to see that your eating right, exercising meditating, and socialising.
Maybe until paws lets up it would be good to see a therapist who specialises in DBT. DBT is half CBT half mindfulness. It helps treat treatment resistant depression, anxiety, bpd, etc. hope you feel good soon!

[thegreatdane]

Yo sherwood, thank you! I hope you are right about me making a full recovery. I really pray and hope so too. I hope your recovery will be shorter than mine! Thanks for the advice on the therapist

[LondonScouse]

I'm quit smoking everyday in November 2017...
I don't feel anywhere close to where I wanted to be ... Oh well... Hopefully things improve lol

[thegreatdane]

LondonScouse - So you havebeen clean for 14 months or so? Didnt you say you had a couple of relapses?

[Charles Swann]

Dude. I am going through everything you wrote about, and I am at 13 months, too. No effing energy. Couldn't get out of bed today. Life has no meaning. Good for a short time, then right back in the hole. I'm at my wit's end.

I've quit before, in 1991, after more than a dozen years of everyday usage, best stuff in New York City. It was $200-400 an oz even back then...from places like Afghanistan, and Burma and California. Within a month, I had done things I put off for years, met new women, was kicking donkey at work. All that was part of the motivation for quitting this time, after another 16 years. I need to move forward, and when I quit, my super powers return.

Not this time. I always thought that stuff about how much stronger weed is now was bull. But it's not. About 8 years ago I switched to some of the best, and around four years ago it took another leap. I wasn't searching it out, my dealer's California supplier just got better and better. I don't think there was any stronger in the world, based on my 45 years of ganja experience. I didn't need it that strong, and didn't need the sativa THC, but that's how it came, and why not get the strongest you can for the money?

My first weeks quitting this time were a walk in the park -- sweating, nightmares, chills -- big effing deal. But I got slammed at 2 months, and it's been mostly hell since. I can see brain function improvement, particularly in memory. Things are coming back to me, flooding into my mind -- the name of a one-night stand 25 years ago, or the name of an obscure co-worker from long ago. My super powers are not coming back though. My social life sucks, I forgotten what punani even looks like, I'm still broke, I'm not smelling the roses.

I'm telling you this because you need to know it's not about you. That thinking is part of what got us here. The universe is not conspiring against you. It's not "why is this happening to me?" because it's happening to me, too. I never met you, but I am 13 months clean, and every word you wrote rang true.

So here's my advice to help you get through today, because that's what you need to do -- deal with today. And while I think people generally don't need advice, they just need a sympathetic ear and love, I'll break my own rule, and give you advice because today we are brothers electronically, I feel you and am living your pain, and I'm telling myself these things, too:

It's not just you. This isn't about you. It never was. We're all in this mess. Why? An effing weed! An insidious, sneaky, cunning, nasty, evil little plant that took over our lives. Get mad. Turn it outward. It's not you. It's that little skanky stinking weed that did this. They say willpower alone isn't enough. That may be true. But it's all I got, and I'm going with it. I am effing mad as hell. I want to strangle my dealer. I want to beat the growers, I want to smack the sheit out of all the pro-marijuana legalize it idiots. I especially want to slap the CBD idiots. Stick your CBD up your hiney. CBD shampoo. CBD eyelid moisturizer. F CBD, F weed legalization, F all these idiots who don't know it's more addictive to me than cigarettes, alcohol, oxy, gambling, or anything else. Yes, release the prisoners, the poor kids who can't get a job or apartment, the laws are screwed. But weed is a killer. It will kill me, and it will kill you if you go back. You got this far, don't kill yourself. Live and help other people.

That's my message to you today, on Valentine's Day, when I got nobody who will hold me or whisper my name. I have my hatred of weed and what it did to us to keep me warm. It will get better if you keep hanging in there. Be stubborn, be dogged. Don't look back. Keep fighting the plant, stay alive, and know you will be happy one day if you persevere. It will pass. I promise you. Life will be better. Just get through today. We're in it together.