Female cousin texting me...

Postby adr_dsouza » Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:44 pm

I am a 30 year old guy and there is this distant second cousin of mine who stays in another city a thousand kilometres away. She's a divorced single mother in her early forties. We first connected on FB and exchanged numbers and from the past year and a half she keeps texting gme every few weeks. She texts just random small talk like "How are you and is everything at home fine etc"...There are also calls from her sometimes...

She never texts my dad whom she knows better than me but only texts me...She's the ones who initiates all texts and not me every single time.... In the beginning on one or two occasions there would be good morning texts n quotes from her but that stopped after I didn't respond to them. One of the good morning quotes was she cares about me.

.I.also remember her suggestion once that we communicate everyday...

The texting continues every few weeks initiated by her as always...Do you think she's upto something sexual or romantic or just being friendly ?

P.S : We have never met in person...She's divorced because her husband was an alcoholic who would beat her up and not appreciate her. She also knows my mum has passed away 5 years ago.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:54 pm

adr_dsouza wrote:Do you think she's upto something sexual or romantic or just being friendly ?


What difference does it make? The answer...none.

Let’s assume for a second that it is sexual or romantic. How does that change anything? Hopefully it doesn’t. You keep responding the same as before, being friendly but maintaining your distance.

Now let’s assume she is just being friendly. How does that change anything? You keep responding the same as before, being friendly but maintaining your distance.

You know that you will never have a relationship with this woman. You will never meet this woman. If she has a romantic interest or not, that is not your issue to resolve. If you don’t want anything to do with her, just ignore the messages or if you want to be more polite then increase how long it takes to respond.
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#2

Postby adr_dsouza » Sat Feb 16, 2019 12:00 am

I'm hoping for a quick one night stand or at least some steamy phone sex.... perhaps some nudes sent through messenger .... We both live in the same country...only different cities a 1000 kms apart.

I sometimes feel like escalating our conversations but I am scared and don't know how to go about it.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Feb 16, 2019 12:15 am

adr_dsouza wrote:I'm hoping for a quick one night stand or at least some steamy phone sex.... perhaps some nudes sent through messenger ....


Then I suggest spending your time more wisely.

Use tantan, tinder, or any of the other dozen or so “hook up” apps to locate girls with low self esteem in your nearby area. They will be younger, will not complicate the family dynamic, and not be a 1,000 kilometers distant.

If for some reason you have a fetish for the “cousin fantasy” then it is a trade off that involves risk management. You have limited time/resources to devote to what you want to accomplish in life. This woman will be very high risk and for what? Of course risk is part of the equation. The forbidden fruit can be a powerful motivator, because it is forbidden, because it is dangerous. Still, the reason you don’t go after the forbidden fruit is precisely because once you take a bite the world changes. You can’t undo it. Suddenly you are in a spiral of regret as things get complicated. And for what? So you can masturbate across a phone?
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#4

Postby adr_dsouza » Sat Feb 16, 2019 12:34 am

Can you elaborate on why she's high risk?
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:01 am

adr_dsouza wrote:Can you elaborate on why she's high risk?


I guess the degree of risk varies on culture and family values.

In many cultures/families having a one night stand with a cousin is not exactly looked upon favorably. In many cultures/families no one is jumping up and down, celebrating that their 30 year old son banged their 40 year old cousin that is a single mother. Typically that is seen as shameful behavior, demonstrating a lack of moral value, allowing base sexual urges to control you.

The risk, should you care, is that any photos, phone calls, videos, or otherwise evidence of the sexual nature of the relationship is shared with family, friends, coworkers etc. The risk, is that any of this material or even her claiming it took place can be used to blackmail you in various forms. The risk is that after sex or intimate exchanges her feelings may change and she might want the relationship to more than just phone sex. In fact, the likelihood her feelings stay neutral is about 0.0001%.

But, maybe you don’t care. Maybe in your culture/family the shame or regret factor for recreational sex is zero. That certainly is a possibility. But, if the risk of shame/regret/guilt is zero, you wouldn’t be posting in here.
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