14 months update

Postby thegreatdane » Fri Mar 08, 2019 12:26 am

Hey guys. 14 months clean and oh boy was the 13 month really hard!! Not hard craving wise, i havent had any cravings throughout this journey because i NEVER want to smoke again. People can smoke infront of me and i dont care. The 13th month was hard emotionally. I had no good days and only bad days. I had lots of PAWS days and waves and it was just really not nice. I have started dieting, exercising, and meditating again and that seems to make it slightly better. I still have nothing amazing to report unfortunally. Im full of hope and i know i will eventually get my chemical balance in the brain back to baseline and feel good again. I will see you guys at 15 months :)
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#1

Postby Sherwood1999 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:55 am

Congrats on the 14 months!
Sorry to hear your last month was rough. Its a good thing you started meditating, exercising etc. again.
I’m super behind you at only 3 months so I’m still in the trenches right now.
Hope your waves and symptoms calm down more at 15 months. :)
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#2

Postby leavepawsbehind » Fri Mar 08, 2019 5:40 am

Right behind you bud. Much like you, I have had 0 cravings. I was done with the stuff before I even knew withdrawal was a possibility. I was sick of the smell of the vape and bong water and gross tasting edibles and all of that crap. Sneaking around, being constantly high, being paranoid that people may be able to tell that I was high, feeling shame for feeling the compulsion to be high before visiting my family for the holidays. Being really defensive about marijuana. Ugh. I'm leaving all of that permanently in the past.

I had a great few weeks at the beginning of Feb of near normalcy but I had another wave kick in a couple of weeks ago. I've started experiencing "anxiety Wednesdays". In the first year I was anxious 24/7. Now I seem to peak mid-week and dip over the weekend. Beneath this top peak/wave pattern, my baseline has longer waves and windows. Maybe a chart would better demonstrate this pattern I've observed with my PAWS severity and symptom frequency?

Started experiencing stronger sensory and physical symptoms again but much like you, I'm hopeful. I hit 420 days sober next week, yippee.
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#3

Postby exstonerinhell » Fri Mar 08, 2019 11:16 am

Keep it up, Dane. We all have different timelines in this madness, but sooner or later we all get to the same place. It's tough as hell, all the respect in the world to you for pushing through. You'll get to where you want to be!
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#4

Postby leavepawsbehind » Mon Mar 18, 2019 12:41 am

Hi Dane, I am 14 months sober today! I still have symptoms happening that aren't fun. There are two constant issues at the moment:
1. Visual static/stars/flashes, especially when I look at solid colored surfaces or up in the sky on a bright day.
2. Muscle and joint aches and pains, especially in my shoulders and arms

My tinnitus is still present but its baseline has been clearly improving over the past two months with little spikes once every week or so. I also occasionally feel internal vibrations, almost like my skin is crawling but a little more subtle. This has been an issue since I quit but it has also improved almost in step with the tinnitus. I usually notice it when I sit perfectly still in my extremities. At this stage it is sometimes gone now.

Other than that, I have a few episodes every week where I feel dizzy/paranoid/fatigued along with all of my symptoms becoming worse and am overcome with the need to lay down.

I am getting better every month but am still surprised at just how damn slow this recovery is. I really want the last remaining symptoms to go away so I can feel normal again and hit the weights as hard I used to before all of this mess started.

How are you doing lately?
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#5

Postby thegreatdane » Sat Mar 23, 2019 10:15 pm

leavepawsbehind - Sorry to hear about your symptoms! Lately i have been feeling quite okay. I see a little bit of progress not gonna lie. Its very little but its something. I owe a lot of it to me doing a lot of cardio, weight lifting, dieting, and meditation lately. It has spiked my confidence up a tiny bit and made my PAWS depression better. So yeah i think i might be doing some progress after all. Hopefully it keeps improving this way
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