johnmason wrote:...i kinda disagree with u on social status thing..i think it is too idealistic ...in real life u need to see the persons family background..when making friends ..particularly applies to me..
Fair enough. You are not alone in thinking the above. It is extremely common for individuals to fear the consequences of having relationships with people outside their caste or status. The consequences can include forms of shaming, that sense of obligation, guilt, etc. It can even go so far as to incur social penalties for fraternizing with those “outside” your status or caste. At the extremes there is banishment or exclusion from one group for daring to socialize with members of another group. It can result in being disowned by your own family in some cases.
If you fear the consequences, then you are not yet ready to be a true leader. You are not yet prepared to be the hero, the shepherd, the master, the captain, the CEO of your life. You are still an apprentice, a novice, a follower of rules others create for you. This can be seen in your post. You are asking others to give you rules. You are unprepared and unwilling to make your own rules, to be your own boss. Instead, you want others to make the rules and then you decide to what extent you wish to obey.
There is nothing wrong with being an apprentice. We all are the apprentice in many facets of life. Maybe you are master of your profession, but still an apprentice regarding social aspects of life. You still are looking to conform and to please others. You still fear the consequences of violating the rules of your group. That is why you are asking for rules.
If caste is so important to you, then the rules for friendship you seek will be found inside members of your caste, your community. As you grow, as you gain wisdom then one day maybe you will get to the point where you make the rules. Maybe one day you will become master, captain of your path in life.
Heck, maybe one day you and I might be friends, even though I’m an outsider not of your status. I guess for now, you should return to your caste and get advice from them. After all, it is the rules of your caste you must obey, right? And given I’m not of your caste I might take advantage or make you feel obligated, right?