Homicidal, suicidal

Postby deadangry » Wed Mar 20, 2019 10:07 pm

I no longer recognise myself. My anger has overridden everything I thought of as my good character.I'm fighting anger that boils over into frequent outbursts, and thoughts of homicide. Ruined by the ruthlessly selfish few - our planet's dying, our standard of living is even now going down, in this me-me-me society that I've rejected and feel completely alienated from.

20 years of fiddling psychiatric meds, with more diagnoses letters after my name than my psych - ASD, BPD, ADHD, and I'm arguing PTSD after the last visit to the psych ward for a start. NHS is useless, my body and mind make everything a misery and the only reason I haven't killed myself is there's someone I need to be here for, yet I just want to go. If I had a more isolated place to do it, I'd go!!!

So, while I'm here, I'm full scale angry and miserable. All I think of is how I need to end my life, and anger at avoidable circumstances that helped push me to this point. If my psychiatrist doesn't achieve anything significant tomorrow, I don't know. I've been hanging on in the adult NHS mental health system for 20 years but you know what, life actually isn't worth living. I'm glad I didn't have kids - they'd only suffer!! I'm leaving a partner behind, and what makes me most angry is that I know this country would fail to look after her.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:42 am

deadangry wrote: Ruined by the ruthlessly selfish few - our planet's dying, our standard of living is even now going down, in this me-me-me society that I've rejected and feel completely alienated from.


I always love this. A person that wants to believe that they have rejected the “me-me-me” of society, yet their post is all about them and what they want for themselves.

And it is interesting to me as we exist in a global community that has the absolute highest standard of living for the greatest amount of people ever in history. There are fewer people in poverty globally than ever before. There are fewer people being killed by war, disease, or violence than ever in the history of mankind.

But I understand. It is relative. Another member posted recently how the #1 cause of death for males under the age of 45 in the UK is suicide as if it is a negative thing.

Negative? Heck no, it is a positive thing. Think about what it actually signifies. What does it actually mean when we ask ourselves, what was the #1 cause of death of men under the age of 45 previously? Oh, that’s right, it was war, violence, or industrial working conditions. But for such wonderful progress in reducing violence and improving working conditions, suicide would not be the #1 cause. Instead of young, healthy, vibrant men dying in factories or on the battlefield, we have improved so much that young men no longer need worry about these forms of death.

Now our focus and resources can now turn to preventing suicide, because these other forms of death have been reduced as our global community thrives. We live in good times.

Obviously if you buy into the fear producing media, the world is ending and we all live in crappy conditions. If you buy into the media, everyone should be entitled to free everything. From that standard the world is certainly a horrible, dark, miserable place to live. Instead of celebrating how far we have come, the media must thrive on what we have not yet achieved.

And unfortunately this constant 24/7 drumbeat of negativity is absorbed as truth by some and it actually contributes to depression and by extension suicide. Because some people lament what they think they should have or the way the world should be based on some BS narrative put out there to get clicks and generate views for advertisers, the blood and gore media is part of the problem.

If my psychiatrist doesn't achieve anything significant tomorrow, I don't know. I've been hanging on in the adult NHS mental health system for 20 years but you know what, life actually isn't worth living. I'm glad I didn't have kids - they'd only suffer!! I'm leaving a partner behind, and what makes me most angry is that I know this country would fail to look after her.


The fact a country even provides NHS is a modern marvel. Having drastically reduced poverty, disease and war, your country will look after her like no other time ever in global history. But, I understand that is not good enough.

This post is not to convince the OP of anything, but is for others that might read this and take time to reflect.

What is taking place with the OP is unfortunate. While things like poverty, disease, war, and famine are globally at the lowest point ever in the existence of mankind, there are people depressed because some utopian standard has not yet been achieved. The media thrives on painting a dark picture, the end of the world scenario, regardless of how good things actually are. Politicians need votes and they too contribute. They can’t point to the Black Plague or the threat of global war, so they need to create fear, they need to build up “problems” so they can then solve the problem.

If you feel that our global community is headed down some tragic path, I encourage you to check your premise. Turn off the television, disconnect from social media, and do some reading from sources that are not trying to get your vote or earn money from fear.
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#2

Postby deadangry » Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:27 am

I think you've lost touch a bit.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Mar 21, 2019 5:35 am

deadangry wrote:I think you've lost touch a bit.


Fair enough. Let’s go with your opinion being accurate. I’m out of touch and living a meaningful life traveling the world, working for myself, happy, plenty of friends, no medications, no psychiatrists, no desire to harm others or myself. But, I’m out of touch with the grim realities of this horrible, cruel existence with all the suffering living under the brutality and constraints of a 1st world country.

You on the other hand are “in touch” with what is really going on. It is such a brutal existence even though you don’t need to harvest your own food. You can pop off to grab a hot cup of coffee or fast bite to eat. You have clothes you didn’t make, a warm bed you didn’t build, and 24/7 electricity you didn’t install. You have hot water, indoor plumbing, and various toys to keep yourself entertained. You have Internet access, television, and whatever other means to connect with people on the other side of the globe. You have no worry of contracting malaria, dysentery, polio, or any number of other diseases. And if you do get sick or hurt, a team of people will literally come to your location, pick you up, and take you to a 1st world medical facility. All of this gives you the freedom to be “in touch” with the true horrors of the world that are so awful in your opinion that you have sought out a special kind of medical service that generally speaking is available only in 1st world countries, psychiatric care.

How is being “in touch” working out for you?
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#4

Postby BrokeSuicide » Thu Mar 21, 2019 8:57 am

deadangry wrote:I no longer recognise myself. My anger has overridden everything I thought of as my good character.I'm fighting anger that boils over into frequent outbursts, and thoughts of homicide. Ruined by the ruthlessly selfish few - our planet's dying, our standard of living is even now going down, in this me-me-me society that I've rejected and feel completely alienated from.

20 years of fiddling psychiatric meds, with more diagnoses letters after my name than my psych - ASD, BPD, ADHD, and I'm arguing PTSD after the last visit to the psych ward for a start. NHS is useless, my body and mind make everything a misery and the only reason I haven't killed myself is there's someone I need to be here for, yet I just want to go. If I had a more isolated place to do it, I'd go!!!

So, while I'm here, I'm full scale angry and miserable. All I think of is how I need to end my life, and anger at avoidable circumstances that helped push me to this point. If my psychiatrist doesn't achieve anything significant tomorrow, I don't know. I've been hanging on in the adult NHS mental health system for 20 years but you know what, life actually isn't worth living. I'm glad I didn't have kids - they'd only suffer!! I'm leaving a partner behind, and what makes me most angry is that I know this country would fail to look after her.


Sorry. Not many people care.
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#5

Postby Leo Volont » Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:58 pm

Dear Dead Angry,

Wow! I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. I'm going after a second degree and got caught up with school work. but now I'm here, and YOU are right. Unless you are some kind of a Billionaire the American Capitalist System is just out to screw you. the only reason the Statistics are as good as Richard says is because the Income of all the Billionaires is included when compiling the MEANS, and that is when their incomes should be tossed out as OUTLIERS (so far out of the curve that they are effectively meaningless). but, yeah, we get DATA on what the Average Wage is, but included in that data are all the Big Corporate Honchos who who make 200 Million a Year... and so the Average Income is 50 Thousand Dollars but everyone has to look around and ask, "Who the hell is making that nowadays?" We're all being lied to. Hey, Richard surprises me. he's changed. Now he's angry. He used to be here to help. I don't know what happened to him. and I never thought he would be so easily fooled. Where does he live that everybody still thinks its 1982? Maybe its a tactic of his, that he is trying to convince you that everything is really Sunshine and Flowers, and that somehow you aren't paying attention.

But, yeah, so you are right, BUT, not about killing yourself. For one thing, you are TOO Valuable now. Since you ARE willing to Kill yourself, well, You Have Nothing To Lose. This should make you Fearless. Why not get into politics. Or at least be the Most Badass Protester who ever lived. Heck, don't kill yourself. GET ARRESTED for whatever you ever wanted to get ARRESTED for. Force them to take you to Trial for something that would embarrass the hell out of this whole phuquing sick twisted and corrupt system. If you are going to die, make sure THEY kill you in jail (and get a video of it).

But, yeah, you DO have people who want to keep you close. So couldn't you just be an Activist. Just standing outside the Community Bank with a "Capitalism Sucks" sign would be a million times better than just checking out early.

Oh, about ANGER Issue, well, I've written a lot on these pages and have some good ideas. If you have time, read some of my longer posts, and it may give you something to think about. But, yeah, give it a little more time, okay?
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:07 pm

Leo Volont wrote: We're all being lied to.


Is this a lie Leo?

https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy

Are only the few privileged capitalist billionaires living on average twice as long as only a few generations ago?

Do you not have clean water and air conditioning, 24/7 electricity and Internet? Do you not have food delivered to your home at the touch of a few buttons on a plastic screen?

What exactly is so horrific about the world in which you live Leo?

Please, respond to me on your magical device that transmits messages thousands of miles in an instant from the comfort of your keyboard and air conditioned, well lit home with indoor plumbing and hot water while you consume an ice cold sugary beverage of your choice.
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#7

Postby BrokeSuicide » Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:18 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Leo Volont wrote: We're all being lied to.


Is this a lie Leo?

https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy

Are only the few privileged capitalist billionaires living on average twice as long as only a few generations ago?

Do you not have clean water and air conditioning, 24/7 electricity and Internet? Do you not have food delivered to your home at the touch of a few buttons on a plastic screen?

What exactly is so horrific about the world in which you live Leo?

Please, respond to me on your magical device that transmits messages thousands of miles in an instant from the comfort of your keyboard and air conditioned, well lit home with indoor plumbing and hot water while you consume an ice cold sugary beverage of your choice.


LOL
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#8

Postby Leo Volont » Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:20 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Leo Volont wrote: We're all being lied to.


Is this a lie Leo?

https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy

Are only the few privileged capitalist billionaires living on average twice as long as only a few generations ago?

Do you not have clean water and air conditioning, 24/7 electricity and Internet? Do you not have food delivered to your home at the touch of a few buttons on a plastic screen?

What exactly is so horrific about the world in which you live Leo?

Please, respond to me on your magical device that transmits messages thousands of miles in an instant from the comfort of your keyboard and air conditioned, well lit home with indoor plumbing and hot water while you consume an ice cold sugary beverage of your choice.


Hi Richard,

Yes, Asia and Africa are not as poverty stricken as they were. But Poverty has only moved from East to West. As Technology advances and need for Labor ever increases, and the cost of replacing Labor with Technology decreases, the Poverty will increase for Everyone... and that is already happening. China, which had risen up on Cheap Labor, is now the World Leader in Robotics, and so we have seen over that last several years a Decline in Consumer Spending in China. They are getting Poor Again.

Oh, about GDP and saying we are not in a Recession. Well, look at how GDP is calculated. Money Transfers between Bank Accounts is somehow counted as 'Production'. So, a lot of the GDP is purely financial. Also, if the Economy is so good, why is the Economy working way under capacity? If Unemployment is so low, then why is there no Upward Wage Movement. Wages in America have remained flat since 1982. It's the feeling that most people working today have seen better times.

But, most importantly, while you are dishing out Capitalist Propaganda (which is silly, since you are not being paid to), you are ignoring all of the Popular Discontent. We have someone who comes to us with a Complaint, and you are telling him that his concerns are invalid. His and everyone elses? Richard, I had admired you. Something happened to you. But, really, do you have to stay on the Anger Management Page while you are going through whatever it is you are going through? Your lashing out at our posters is probably not the Face we want for Anger Management.
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#9

Postby BrokeSuicide » Fri Mar 22, 2019 12:52 am

you are ignoring all of the Popular Discontent. We have someone who comes to us with a Complaint, and you are telling him that his concerns are invalid. His and everyone elses? Richard, I had admired you. Something happened to you. But, really, do you have to stay on the Anger Management Page while you are going through whatever it is you are going through? Your lashing out at our posters is probably not the Face we want for Anger Management.


Richard time and time again lashes out to posters. He does have an anger problem but fails to admit it. Time and time again he denies it and continues to complain and lashes out at others. We need to support him during this difficult time in his life. Whatever it is he is going through there is help out there. He uses his pseudo psychology as a mask so he can lash out and claim it to be advice.

Get help Richard.
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#10

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:07 am

Leo,

The fact lifespans have nearly doubled is in no way shape or form “Capitalist propaganda.” It is not propaganda of any kind.

The fact that globally any number of reasons we use to die have been either greatly reduced or eradicated all together, e.g. disease, famine, poverty, is also not any certain form of propaganda or political doctrine.

Pointing out that you, I and the OP have the luxuries of hot water, Internet, a warm bed, food delivery, and a system of national healthcare and social services is not propaganda.

Trying to attach what I have written to a certain type of political doctrine is a weak argument Leo. Equally, saying that simply because I’m not willing to swallow the whole doom and gloom peddling of the OP is “lashing out” is also weak.

I have stated this previously, but it is worth restating. This is a public forum available for anyone to read. It is not a private office setting where you might go back and forth with the OP to discuss their specific concerns with how horrible they perceive their own life to be in the UK. Instead, as a public forum, we get to have a healthy discussion of opinions that differ, e.g. your opinion that quoting life span data is somehow capitalist propaganda.

What would happen if the forum only consisted of the doom and gloom crowd? Jason and desperate, the OP, and you could all wallow in misery and have a pity party over the impending collapse of humanity. Luckily, the forum allows others to join in the conversation and provide a different perspective.

P.S. I certainly hope that I have changed. I encourage you to change as well Leo. I would hate to be talking to the 2015 version of Leo.

P.S. P.S. I’m currently in China. Guess what? They have the Internet, indoor plumbing, hot water, and central air. I’m currently in a fast food restaurant enjoying a cup of coffee and breakfast sandwich.
Last edited by Richard@DecisionSkills on Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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#11

Postby BrokeSuicide » Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:12 am

I've been laughing all day. You should switch careers Richard become a comedian. Born to do it.
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#12

Postby BrokeSuicide » Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:17 am

deadangry wrote:I think you've lost touch a bit.


He has. He is nutso with a real anger problem. Anything sets him off.
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#13

Postby Leo Volont » Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:22 am

BrokeSuicide wrote:
you are ignoring all of the Popular Discontent. We have someone who comes to us with a Complaint, and you are telling him that his concerns are invalid. His and everyone elses? Richard, I had admired you. Something happened to you. But, really, do you have to stay on the Anger Management Page while you are going through whatever it is you are going through? Your lashing out at our posters is probably not the Face we want for Anger Management.


Richard time and time again lashes out to posters. He does have an anger problem but fails to admit it. Time and time again he denies it and continues to complain and lashes out at others. We need to support him during this difficult time in his life. Whatever it is he is going through there is help out there. He uses his pseudo psychology as a mask so he can lash out and claim it to be advice.

Get help Richard.


Richard didn't used to be like that. I suppose if we went back and through the posts we could get close to putting a DATE on when things changed for him. BUT, he isn't exactly asking for help, is he? The only thing that makes it our business is that he is muddying the waters of our Pond where we are trying to help. Really, what essentially happened here is that we get a Suicide Note from a guy, and Richard goes for a dissertation on how stupid the guy is. Really, I'm no expert, but isn't that like giving the guy one more reason to end it all. "In addition to everything else that disgusts me with the World, there is also the apparently authoritative view out there that I am 'stupid' ". And we are coming to the end of the month. Does anybody contemplating suicide pay their bills at the end of the month? I would guess that there must be something of a spike in suicides just before Rent Day. We really should be commiserating with this guy. It IS an Anger Management Forum, and so those of us who have been through the 'Wars' should KNOW what this guy is saying. It DOES Suck. BUT where there is Life there is Hope. Damn! We should tell the Guy that if he kills himself, he might MISS the Revolution. If he Lives he might be able to take out some good Revenge. Look back at the French Revolution and think about how LIFE AFFIRMING it must have been for the Mob to see all those Predatory Aristocrats getting their heads chopped off. Who would want to miss that?
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#14

Postby Leo Volont » Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:46 am

Hi Richard,

Yeah, apparently some people adjust better to being powerless wage slaves than others. Your ability to adapt yourself to any situation is admirable, in a way.; You seem to thrive on a System of Oppression that drives other people to suicide.

but, Richard, any General Improvement is being quickly offset by the increasing levels of Inequality of Wealth. The Gloom and Doom of the Situation is not delusional. When Artificial Intelligence Technologies can replace the greater part of the Work Force, what will happen then. Well, the same thing that is apparently happening now. People will be encouraged to commit suicide. That is what is happening with the Opioid Crisis, isn't it? Then there is the developments over the last few decades to take infractions in terms of Political Opposition out of the Criminal Justice Realm, and assign them to the Marshal Law Model of just Killing Political Opposition as Terrorist Enemies (you know, War used to be between Nation States, but now we have the Unitied States declaring War against individuals and classes. You know, if somebody breaks the Law they should go to trial, right? But now, for differences of political orientation, Governments are authorizing assassination. My guess, is that if we do not have a Revolution and take away the power of the Capitalists, that we will all die at the hands of either Private Death Squads or the Militaries of Governments that have been coopted by Capitlaist Corruption. You know, if they don't need us to be Wage Slaves, then why keep us around, right? Oh, and in the Age of Artificial Intelligence Technologies, the Capitalists won't need the support of Government. For instance, if I am a Multi- Billionaire then what is to stop me from setting up a massive factory 'manned' entirely by AI robotic systems. I could design killer drones along with all their logistical support apparatus, and who would know? Its a Robot Factory where there would not even have to be lights or aisles and hallways. Also, Capitlaism has always had Product Secrecy. Anyway, in 8 or 10 years any of 20 Billionairs in the World, or more, could have a Product Launch of hundreds of thousands of AI Killer Drones with specific Target Lists. And we are not doing a damn thing to stop them. And, Richard, you are even cheering for the basttards.
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